Scotty McCreery – Our Hometown Superstar

When we saw Scotty’s first audition and learned that he was from Garner, we became instant fans. Not just because his hometown is right down the road from us, but because of his deep, rich voice and sparkling personality.

Scotty consistently performed well during the season, never straying far from his country roots. He gave his fans exactly what they had come to expect. What has impressed me the most about the lovable 17-year-old is that he has never wavered from professing his devout faith in Christ.

The winner of season ten revealed more insight during his wrap-up interviews. “This is pretty wild, I gotta say. A whole lot more than I bargained for coming into this – I never would have expected it.” Scotty feels that he is handling the "crazy ride" well so far.

Scotty looks forward to performing at the upcoming CMA music festival. He’d like to play the Grand Ole Opry as well. The teenage winner was surprised and thrilled to learn that his first single is currently number one on iTunes.

The young southern gentleman genuinely felt that he would come in second to Lauren Alaina. “She's something else. She sings like a bird. She’s just an amazing young lady.” He denies rumors of a romance with the fellow contestant. He hopes to cut a duet with Lauren for his first album.

In regards to his amazing voice, Scotty says, "I’ve always kinda sounded the same… Vegas week was the week that I discovered that I could kinda sing higher than I had been singing in the competition so far."

He adds, "Everybody had their own niches. Country music is me. It’s what I grew up with. It’s what I do. I didn’t have any intention of changing. My thing was - if it got me this far, why change it up? It’s what I love to do."

Read more about this season’s winner on his official American Idol page.

Lauren Alaina – Teenage Dynamo

From her very first appearance on the show, fans could tell that Lauren would be a front-runner. The cute, funny, talented teenager demonstrated versatility during the season that won her many fans.

Week after week Lauren delivered entertaining performances; the Georgia native is a natural on the stage. We learn more about this year’s adorable runner-up from her post-show interviews.

Lauren was raised on country music and it’s the genre that is closest to her heart. She is hoping to make it to the CMA festival this year. Carrie Underwood is one of the artists that she looks up to, and she was thrilled to perform with her at the finale.

She has been a fan of American Idol since the beginning and was thrilled when the age limit was lowered to fifteen. She doesn’t regret trying out so young. “I feel like if something’s your dream and you know what you want, you should go for it.”

The teenager feels that her lack of self-confidence had a positive effect in the long run. She is her own worst critic. “The things I didn’t like about myself, I worked on the whole time I was on the show and really tried to improve myself. It was really helpful for me to grow as a person and as an artist.”

She is completely satisfied with her second place finish on the show this year. “God has a different plan for me,” she says. “I’m very fortunate to have made it.”

There has been a lot of gossip that Lauren and Scotty are more than friends but she denies this rumor. She says, “I couldn’t have picked a better person to get second place to but him.”

As for being a role model to others, the singer says, “I’m not fake and I don’t want to mislead people as to who I am. I crack jokes a lot but I can be serious too... I plan on not changing who I am for anything.”

You can read more about Lauren Alaina Suddeth on her official American Idol web page.

And the Winner Was a Country Teenager

At the beginning of season ten approximately half the population of planet Earth tried out for American Idol. Now we are down to just two.

Two hour finale tonight! Spoilers on the ‘net promise lots of surprises. “Who do you love?” Ryan wants to know. And now that song is stuck in our heads. Thanks Seacrest.

Over 122 million votes were cast, a new record. All in all the season total of votes equal almost the amount of money that Oprah made this year.

They Who Must Not Be Named are already seated. My Kid Tru asks me why I am so down on the judges after spending weeks as their biggest fan. I don’t have all night to explain it. Got a show to blog!

The adorables come out to the stage, and they are both dressed in white. I have grown fond of both of these kids. Lauren and Scotty – here’s hoping that when you get grown you’ll end up together, and H'wood will make a Lifetime movie of your journey. Seriously. That would be epic.

We see a quick shot of Chattanooga and Raleigh where cheering fans are holding viewing events.  Looks like more folks are at the RBC Center, but that could just be me being partial.

The top 13 lip synch Lady Gaga’s “Born this Way.” It would be so HIGH-larious if they opened the big door and Madonna came out and started singing “Express Yourself.” How Gagme got away with ripping that off remains an unsolved mystery. But I digress… The group number is as cheesy as ever which is why we love it. Long live the pointy pose!

Judas Priest and James Durbin beg us all once again to “give metal a chance.” The Durbs looks like he’s ready for a Village People reunion. Pyro! James sounds really good here. It’s like old metal meets new. Their version of “Breaking the Law” makes me giggle. My mom just turned 67 and she is a big James fan; I bet she is loving this gig.

A video montage showing the “best of” Randy Jackson (the veteran) being in it to win it. He is amused at the drinking game that he has created this year.

Next to perform are Jacob Lusk with gospel star Kirk Franklin; they are here to take us to church. They sing “Smile,” then Gladys Knight joins them with a full-fledged choir. There is a shout out to tornado victims with a text number to donate to the American Red Cross.

Casey Abrams is on stage with a couch singing “Fat Bottomed Girls.” Of all the Queen songs, why this one? Oh, so that scantily clad back-up dancers can prance on stage. Jack Black joins in; Tru loves him in School of Rock. At first I thought he was Randy Hickey. As a singer he is a good comedian. We still adore Casey, but this act is more like an SNL skit.

Next the ladies of the top 13 take the stage dressed in red. They start with “Single Ladies” and then go into a Beyonce medley. Karen sounds really good, and Naima of course still has the moves. Haley sounds awesome on “If I Were a Boy.” And Pia, oh how we missed you. Then Beyonce Herself comes out to sing “Crazy in Love.” Hugs to all the girls. She shows them how it is done.

The Steven Tyler highlight reel is shown next. We are reminded of when he was funny and sassy and a huge old flirt. Man, the things that ancient rockers can get away with.

My girl Haley is up next to sing a duet with Tony Bennett. Tru and I both wonder why she got the 85-year- old, but you know what? He is fabulous and so is she; that was some good “Stepping Out.” It’s so strange that Tru and I are the only Haley fans that we know personally. There have to be more – she made top three after all.

The most beautiful woman in the world (according to People magazine) gets her judge montage next. it’s all about the fawning. And I am a-yawning. See, I am a poet.

The R&B group TLC, minus the one who died but plus Lil Jon, sing a medley. Then the ladies of the Idol 13 come out. Their mics seem to be turned down. Lauren is absent in this group performance. Just realized that she wasn’t in the Beyonce group either. The TLC gals sound rough tonight.

Scotty and country superstar Tim McGraw sing the song “Live Like You Were Dying.” Scotty and Tim sound really good together. Goodness, Faith Hill’s hubby is hot. He is a decent actor too, especially in Blind Side. Tru doesn’t remember this, but when she was three, she sang his songs all the time. “I Like It I Love It” was her favorite.

The DJ wannabe from earlier in the season does a mock W-IDOL to do highlights of the best of the very worst of the auditions this year. The “unsung heroes” segment reminds us of why the early rounds were so entertaining. Because mocking obtuse people is fun, especially when they literally fall flat on their faces.

An angry mummified corpse is singing some kind of Spanish ditty. Oh wait, it’s J.Lo's hubby Marc Anthony. He is surrounded by flamenco dancers, and then she shows up midway to shake her booty.  The marvelous Sheila E. is on drums. Marc just seems irritated all the time for some reason.

A video of the losing Idols is shown next and it’s full of sass and humor. Casey and James are really funny as they battle for the most shocking boot. They could definitely do a sitcom. It turns out that Pia is the most shocking, and she has the sash and tiara to prove it.

Boys in black from the top 13 take the stage to do the Prince song “Kiss.” Stefano shines on this one. Wait, it must be a Tom Jones medley because they do “She’s a Lady" with Paul on lead. Then that stupid pussycat song, but James and Casey can add humor to anything. Finally Tom Jones himself shows up. When did he turn into Fred Sanford? All in all a good time is had by all.

The last Ford music video of the season is of Scotty and Lauren singing “Whenever You Remember.” They sound good together. A highlight reel of previous videos is shown. Zombies! Superheroes! Spies! Oh yeah and Fords.

Ryan introduces Scotty and Lauren’s favorite teachers next. On their hometown visits the contestants invited them to the finale. Tonight the teachers each get a Ford Focus as a surprise.

The final two contestants also each get a Ford; they get to choose which one they want. Those cars will come in handy when they learn how to drive.

Lady Gaga comes back to perform her new song “Edge of Glory.” She stands on something that looks like a big rock, which reminds me of a Buffy quote - Spike: “It’s a big rock. I can’t wait to tell all my friends. They don’t have a rock this big.” Some famous sax player shows up. Gagme makes out with some shirtless dude. Hide your kids’ eyes, mommas; the show just turned R-rated.

Next to the stage is our own Lauren Alaina who sings the Carrie song about keying 4-wheel-drives and whatnot. Then Carrie herself joins her on stage. Wow she has grown into a true performer. Gone are the Carrie-bot days. Say whoa to awesomeness. It’s very admirable how Ms. Underwood stands back to let Lauren shine.

In the funniest video I have seen in a long long while, the other contestants reveal their “true feelings” about the final two being mere children. It starts out serious but then gets funny. There is some untapped acting talent among this group.

Beyonce is back AGAIN to showcase a new ballad. Not sure what it’s called but she shouts “make love to me” about a thousand times. Geesh, family SHOW. At least she’s dressed. Proof that you can perform well without standing on top of a piano half nekkid, Gagme.

I like Beyonce and most of the other stars that they’ve had on the show tonight, but it seems like they could have had more past Idol recognition on the finale. Last year’s winner Lee DeWyze was sitting in the audience. I also spotted David Cook and Micheal Johns, and there were probably tons more.  Just saying. Drink your own Kool-Aid, American Idol.

We have read about Spiderman being made into a Broadway musical and that there have been hardships. Some very extremely handsome young man joins Bono and The Edge on stage to sing a song called “Rise Above.” Wow this is a great song. A guy in a Spidey suit is aerialing his way above the Nokia. He makes a stop to hang upside down in front of J.Lo, but she is not doing the kiss thing like Mary Jane Watson.

Steven (sans Aerosmith) plays piano and gently sings “Dream On.” Then he kicks it up a notch and swings his be-scarved mic stand around. Look out orchestra! When he hits the high note, look out glass objects! “That was just beautiful.”  “He is in it to win it.” “Y’know I’m in love wit’ch you.”

Finally it’s time to learn the results from the 122 million votes. Scotty looks handsome and Lauren is gorgeous in her yellow dress. They goof off while the requisite British guy brings Ryan the envelope.

Scotty is the winner! Lauren seems to be fine. Scotty hugs Lauren and she gives him a kiss right on the lips. In his short speech he says that he and Lauren have been together since the beginning and they will stay together. Then he thanks The Lord; I love this kid for that the most.

It’s time for Scotty to sing the “Big” song again. He hugs his parents and various family members in the audience. Jack Black is left standing there like - where’s my hug? So funny!

Back on the stage Scotty hugs all of the top 13, and then falls to the floor crying.  He hops back up though like a trooper. Because he is a kid he tries to catch the confetti like snow. Lauren keeps kissing him on the cheek over and over. Such cute young'ens.

Quotes:

Ryan: I promise I will try to get it in before your DVRs stop this year.

Ryan: Nice abs.

James: We’re the shocker rockers.

Ryan: You guys have hot teachers.

Now it’s time to watch the news footage from the action that is happening right down the road - 8200 people at the RBC center. Whew what a season! Here’s a proud North Carolina gal signing off, with sniffles.

The Boy Next Door and The Southern Belle

It’s been all over the interwebs this afternoon that Lauren Alaina has lost her voice and might have to drop out of the finale. They say Haley is there practicing in case she needs to fill in at the last minute. Yeah fricking right. Lauren wouldn't drop out if she was rendered mute. Wake up and smell the conspiracy, NIGEL.

While I believe it’s true that Lauren had problems, WHY publicize them to death at this stage of the competition? Read: Publicity stunt to garner the sympathy vote. This producer manipulation is so irritating, but I am going to try not to hold it against the contestant. It’s not her fault she has been pimped out as Lythgoe’s Choice all season.

Okay. Games be danged… on with the finale. 

The beginning of the show recalls good memories of Carrie’s win in season four and my favorite champ of all time, David Cook in season seven. Quick montage of Lauren and Scotty as kids (about a year ago.)

The puppets, er, I mean judges arrive. Whoop. Tuxedo’d Ryan says that there are 7,000 fans in the Nokia tonight. The rest of the top 13 are in the audience. We have only an hour tonight for Scotty and Lauren to do three songs each, so let’s get busy.

When the top two teenagers come out on stage, I am reminded of a Buffy quote – Anya: “This isn’t going to get all sexy, is it?”  Willow: “I’d be shocked.”

As we figured, they are going to milk this "Lauren’s voice" issue for all it’s worth. They even bring the DOCTOR out on the stage to explain it. My Kid Tru and I both call BS on this. Where was Casey’s doc when he had a ruptured ulcer earlier this year? He just shrugged it off, no drama. Gah.

Again… can’t hold it against the kid. Can’t hold it against the kid. Repeat ten more times.

Deep breath. Okay. Three rounds of singing tonight. Last week, they did the coin toss to see who would go last, which traditionally is the best spot. Scotty won but because he is a gentleman, he deferred to Lauren to decide. In essence, he lost - he will be up first tonight.

The first round will be a repeat of one of the songs the kids did before. In his best tee-shirt and leather jacket, Scotty chooses the upbeat Montgomery Gentry hit “Gone.”  He works the crowd and changes it up a bit from last time. Wisely dials down the campiness. Hot fiddle player alert! Evidently the “judges” - and I use sarcastic quotation marks - will be saving their comments until later.

Carrie’s "Flat on the Floor" is the song that Lauren is repeating. She did this great the last time and in spite of all the voice problems, she does fine again. She’s wearing a shiny Star Trek-like outfit. I am really trying to not be skeptical but Jaded is my middle name these days. Surely the viewers are not going to swallow this drama hook line and sinker are they? Still no remarks from the peanut gallery.

The second round includes songs that were picked from the contestants' own idols. If this was a two hour show then perhaps we would get a chance to see these mentors interact with the finials. No chance of that – Seacrest is talking 80 mph.

Scotty’s song was chosen by George Strait. Back in plaid, he is singing “Check Yes or No,” a song that is very special to me. My angel daughter used to love this song and sang it all the time. Scotty plays guitar and does a fine enough job. Funny faces aside, he really is the most adorable human on the planet.

For Lauren, Carrie Underwood chose a song by Pam Tillis called “Maybe it was Memphis.” According to Carrie’s twitter, this is a song that she wanted to do back in her AI day. In her sequined dress with mushroom skirt, Lauren does well with the song, as she always does. It’s still not evident that she has vocal trouble.

Finally the judges speak. And you know what? I really could not care less. Actually there are several other things that I could not care less about but would rather reflect upon instead – the upcoming Glee season finale, Oprah's big good riddance, er I mean farewell, that whiney Meredith voiceover soap about doctors, and that dancing show that has kicked American Idol out of the number one spot. Just to name a few.  

The other day I was reading the January entries of this blog. Back then I was full of hope and wonder about this new judge panel. Now? Bring on The Voice and X Factor. I will even settle for America’s Got (Very Little) Talent.

The Coke songwriting contest with Taio Cruz is over, and he is here to perform the song called "Positive." Yes, I am positive that I want to claw my eyes out and poke holes at my ear drums. This sounds like every other song out there but with ghostly drums for backup. And sunglasses indoors = not cool. Next please.

We’re at the final round for Scotty and Lauren tonight. Ryan explains that they will be performing the songs that will be their first singles if they win. Usually both winner and runner up release a song so I expect that both of these tunes will be available for download before daybreak.

Jimmy explains how important this whole “original song” thing is, and the selling of records and whatnot. He is really excited about the song choices. He reminds me of a cartoon character who has dollar signs for eyes.

The song for Scotty is called “I Love You This Big” and it’s a nice ditty with clever word play. Scotty is handsome in a suit from the Jacob Lusk collection. Clips of his Idol journey play in the background while he sings. For the first time he seems a bit nervous, but he does well on a song we’ve never heard. The swaybots are so distracting and annoying.

For Lauren, the song is “Like My Mother Does” which was on Kristy Lee Cook’s album that kerplunked.  They don’t mention that part on the show of course. Her montage plays in the background too. Lauren looks lovely and the song is nice enough treacle. Ryan walks her down the stairs so that she can go hug her mom. Thank you show, I needed a really good cry.

Before I can even get flared up about this propping, I see David Archuleta's sweet face in the audience. Awww!  Lauren’s mom is sobbing and Lauren has tears also. The three people on the panel hand the contest to Lauren on a silver platter. With shimmer and gloss. Whatevs, it’s time for a girl to win anyway. Poor Scotty is just an afterthought at this point.

Recap time of the six songs, which all went as well as expected. Both of these kids are super talented; they are great singers and performers. Scotty and Lauren each have their own quirks as well, but they can work those out in time. It's heartwarming how sweet those two are with each other.

Finally, the moment that I have waited all evening for… David Cook!!! He is there to sing this year’s boot off song “Don’t You Forget about Me.” He looks and sounds just as wonderful as ever. THIS is how it’s done, y’all. Highlights of the best and worst of season 10 play on the screen behind him.

Quotes:

Ryan: The only doctor in black scrubs.

Ryan: How do you feel about the last Oprah, ladies and gentleman?

Well, they couldn’t have made it more obvious if they’d all been holding up signs that read "Nigel wants Lauren to win." If she loses tomorrow night the producers will blame it on her busted voice.  I’d rather see our hometown boy take the title but am okay with either of them. We shall see tomorrow night at the finale. Until then, rest your vocal chords.

Haley Reinhart - the Bluesy Bombshell

From the time we first met Haley at the Milwaukee audition, she proved to be full of spirit with a unique singing style. It took her a few weeks to gain momentum, but the 20-year-old Chicago native had something to prove – and prove it she did.

We learn more about Haley, the self-described “goofball,” during her exit interview. The superstar in the making has been performing in her family’s band since she was a child. “My parents have taught me the rules of the stage since I was 8.” She was thrilled to have her dad perform with her on the show and at her hometown event. “I got to go back home and play with them – having them on the stage and actually getting to give them a couple of licks and show America what they could do was so special to me.”

In regards to her rendition of Idol cover songs, she explains that she liked taking the songs in a different direction and making them more “funkified.” She believes that the judges’ criticism was to help her move further in the competition. “It was apparent that they liked to get me to where I could be at the top of my game, and get me a little fired up…I come out with something that they didn’t expect. It’s up to America. I got to Top 3 and that was quite alright.”

Haley has no regrets and is glad that she got to show versatility. “I took a lot of risks in the beginning when usually you do the opposite, maybe they didn’t know how to take me. I started getting into my own little niche – the rock, bluesy sultry feel – and I think America finally started to catch on.”

In regards to her ousting this week, she is not upset. “Of course everybody is going to be surprised with the verdict. All in all, I accepted it very quickly, took it in, took it all with a grain of salt. Everything happens for a reason. This is a good thing; it only means that I’m going to start my career as a solo artist even sooner.”

She adds, “You have seconds to think about it. I took a second and then I said – alright. This is it. Guess what – I have to sing a song in about five seconds. Let’s have a good time with it – show America why they kept me there so long. Give them a good show.”

The singer has a lot of ideas about what her debut record will be like. “To begin with, I would love to do an album that’s like sultry bluesy rock. I absolutely love jazz, so hopefully I can slip that in somewhere.”  She is thankful for the advice she received from the mentors on the show and grateful that they treated her like a professional. “They were all so down to earth and very generous with their comments. It was very sweet all around.”

Haley doesn’t feel that the audience really got to know the real her. “I’m usually bubbly.” She will miss everyone on the show. “Everybody is such a big family… They’ve got my back. Gosh, I love everybody back there.”

Learn more about Haley on her official American Idol web page.

Which Two Will Be “Right There” in the Finale?

Tonight the show will make it official that this year’s finale will consist of teens Lauren and Scotty. No surprises to be had here folks, nothing really to see, so move along.

Last night – Scotty was amazed and believed he would get a kiss. Lauren took a wild one on a dance to die young. Haley and Rhiannon oughta know what should never be.

Jimmy Iovine gives his take on the performances of the final three. He says that there will be a guy in the finale. More news from the file marked duh.

The rest of the top 13 are in the audience tonight. Some of these I barely remember … was Tyra Banks one of them? Oh, it’s that Ashthon gal.

Ryan says that 95 million votes were cast, more than any other at this stage. It makes sense because of online voting. Thank you internet and AT&T.

When we had a top four, they visited J.J. Abrams to see a clip of his new movie Super 8. While it’s obvious to a fan girl like me how awesome this guy is (Lost! Alias! The new Star Trek reboot!), the contestants don’t seem to connect the dots. Oh what sheltered lives they lead. J.J. is kinda off-kilter as well. This American Idol thing, that’s a show? Okay. Here are some cameras for you. Off they go.

The littlest Fanning sister is in the audience with Ryan. She is in the Super 8 movie and is also there to gush over Scotty. On behalf of her six-year-old cousin, natch.

The first hometown visit we see is for Haley in Wheeling, near Chicago. It’s raining and she freaks out over the limo. She is thrilled and surprised at the 30,000 fans in attendance. Haley is so funny with Aaron the bodyguard. She reconnects with her family and tries not to cry at various reunions. Footage from her high school visit and park concert show an excited yet laid back Haley giving her all to the fans. It’s cool that she sang with her family. I’d like to see the entire concert; hopefully it’s on YouTube somewhere.

The core voting base – tiny little girls – help Ryan with the intro of the Ford music video. The two gals and a boy frolic on the beach and take videos which they then upload using the Ford Focus technology.  Supposedly, the Idols are the ones singing in all of these videos, but in this version of “Smile,” I dunno. That does not sound like Scotty on the verse AT ALL. If that is him, he has been holding back his pop persona this whole time.  

My Kid Tru and I can’t sit through this next segment. We can’t even. It’s a trio of Italian boys who are singing opera. Gah. I have some laundry to fold. At least these kids can sing; their voices are fabulous. This just isn’t our thang.

The next hometown visit we see is the one that was right down the road from us. Scotty’s visit to Garner is chock full of people that we know, especially Tru. Thankfully I can pause the DVR so that she can name all of them. After watching this, if folks aren’t convinced that Scotty is a sweet kid, then they just have no soul. Scotty is crying as well as little girls and their grandmas. So are Tru and me. We especially lose it when country star Josh Turner shows up to surprise Scotty on stage. “Baby lock them doors” will go in the dictionary this year as the definition for quirky awesomeness.

Our other musical guest star performers are that Nicole gal from the Pussycat Dolls. She’s everywhere these days – she won the Dancing with the D-List show a couple years ago (to which Tru says RIGGED!) She is also going to be a co-host on Simon’s X Factor show this fall. Last week we saw her in Steven Tyler’s music video. Tonight she is here to perform “Right There” with 50 Cent and 14 thousand backup dancers.  Like the opera guys before, this is not music that I am interested in listening to at all. Seems like they could have brought in Melinda Doolittle or Mandisa. What’s David Archuleta doing? I’d settle for freaking Sanjaya over this mess.

The last hometown visit is to Georgia with Lauren Alaina. The peppy teen is funny in the limo with the police escort. She shows compassion during the tour of the devastation from the tornados. (Tornados hit our area too, but that was ignored on the NC visit.) Tru and I are totally loving THIS Lauren - the typical teenager who is living her dream. When she visits the little boy who saved his family during the storm, it’s a sweet teary moment. Hopefully she will cherish this day regardless of the outcome of the show. And we finally see cousin Holly again!

It is time for some results… all three are gathered as in prayer. Ryan is just going to make them wait and wait and wait… FINALLY the first person in the finale is Scotty. No surprise.

Next Lauren learns that she will be joining Scotty next week in the Nokia Theater.  The expression on Haley’s face says DISAPPOINTMENT very clearly, but she bounces back though like a pro. The girl has always worn her heart on her sleeve. Naysayers and Haley haters (JENNIFER) will be laughing at her this week – last night the fall and tonight that face…. oh well. When Haley outsells all of them she will get the last laugh.  

Back in the early rounds, who knew that perpetual bottom 3-er Haley Reinhart would land in the final three? As a fan of hers, I am proud of the progress that she has made.  Her farewell montage clearly shows her journey, which has been a good one.

Haley, in her crazy headband and flowing belly shirt, gives the sing out of her life. She shines on the Elton John song she did earlier this year. She looks like a superstar, she sings great, she improvises the lyrics to fit the moment. She works the audience to include the other ten ousted contestants, then gives a hug and kiss to mom and dad. Voters, man - “they’re weird and they’re wonderful” indeed.

Quotes:
Scotty: J.J.'s in it to win it!  James: J.J. just might win the whole thing!

Haley: You guys are nuts. I love it.

Ryan: Dude’s big!

Lauren: Oh no it wasn’t me, I swear!

So next week, as predicted – two country teenagers. Joy. (That was my sarcastic voice.) Seriously, I like both of these kids and wish them nothing but the best. For now, I am going to burn myself a CD of Haley songs. It’s like “soul food” for the ears. 

Two Blondes and a Country Boy

“Their journey began as a humble dream,” so say the placards. A typical teenage girl who likes to tumble in the front yard. A southern high school boy who plays baseball.  A jazzy blonde bombshell who sings the blues. We see a brief snippet of each of the three’s hometown visits and will get more details on that tomorrow night.

The judges arrive but they are of no consequence to me. I am very disappointed at the direction our star/fan relationship has headed. So hmmmph!

Some yahoo in the audience has a homemade sign that says THANK U FORD. I agree - yes Ford, thanks for ripping me off on that Escort, much appreciated.

Ryan reminds everyone that next week the final two will perform on Tuesday with results on Wednesday. Why? We don’t know. Perhaps that is the only time they could get the Nokia Theater.

As we all know, the top three got sent home in style last weekend. Scotty’s venue was about 10 miles from our house but we didn’t want to fight the crowds. I watched it on the local news and that was good enough.

For the first time, the fourth place contestant got a hometown visit. We see about ten seconds of the footage from James Durbin’s return to Santa Cruz.

The top 3 come out and wow – their outfits are the best of the 70s, 80s and 90s. My Kid Tru tells me that I have no fashion sense. So I guess white go-go boots, faded denim jackets and black fringe are making a comeback. Who knew?

This year’s top three episode is the same format as usual – contestants’ choice, producer's choice (in this case, Jimmy), and then judges’ choice.

The mentor for the first song is mega star Beyonce. Every time I hear or see her name I immediately start singing “to the left, to the left.” It’s just a thing that happens automatically. In her montage, we see Mrs. Jay-Z go from Destiny’s Child to Dream Girls, with 16 Grammys in between.

Beyonce says that there is something special about each of the three contestants. She will be tutoring them from a lovely wood-paneled piano room with a splendid garden view.

After the Beyonce clip, the camera cuts back to the judges and their reactions are comical. Jennifer gives “Eff You” face, Randy claps as an afterthought, and Steven wakes up to mouth “Hi mom” or whatever to the camera. Did I mention that I am over these three?

First up is Scotty and his personal song choice is “Amazed.” Beyonce exclaims “that’s my boy” and pretends to know the band Lonestar. He sounds good during practice and as always delivers a calm, confident performance on stage tonight. We agree with Ms. Knowles, he is a cutie pie. He must have caught a “buy one plaid shirt, get three free sale” at Kohl's or wherever he shops in H’wood. The judges profess their devotion and Randy name drops. Scotty drops a name too – he says he put a little “Casey growl” in his first song tonight. That young Scotty, he “jest keeps gettin' better.”

In the piano room, Lauren is thrilled to meet Beyonce. The superstar likes Lauren’s loose and fun performances the best. She tries to explain her Sasha Fierce persona to the teenager, but it does not seem to compute. Tonight Lauren has chosen the Faith Hill version of “Wild One” for her first song. It’s a tune she knows well and she has fun with it. A couple of weeks ago Lauren said that the stylists were trying to kill her and tonight there is proof of that. I hope she waters the huge flower earrings before they wither. The judges “little baby” did great but she is still holding back.

Our gal Haley has been warned a thousand times about doing the lesser known songs, but she doesn’t care. Even Beyonce is confused as to why the songstress has chosen a Led Zeppelin tune for contestant’s choice. Haley explains that she has performed this with her family band. Once again she proves that being a risk taker pays off – her rendition of “What Is and What Should Never Be” is fantastic. Having her dad playing guitar on stage with her adds to the energy of the performance. Even a stumble up the stairs doesn’t stop Miss Reinhart from owning round one!

Terra Nova = CAN’T WAIT! A weird guy in a dog costume is in the audience. Tru says it’s from an upcoming sitcom that I will not be watching. Donnie Darko still gives me nightmares.

There’s no more Clive Davis, so producer and season 10 mentor Jimmy Iovine picked the songs for the next round. 

On the chat stools with Scotty, we see the initial audition footage again of “lock them doors” and Steven’s duck abuse. After trying to explain Tom Petty, Jimmy’s choice for Scotty is a song called “Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not” by a group I have not heard of before. Google tells me that Thompson Square is not only a landmark in Boston but also a husband/wife country duo. This is a very recent hit song on country radio, so fans of that genre will be thrilled. Scotty plays guitar and sings the light-hearted song as well as ever. The judges state the obvious when they tell Scotty that ten crazillion tweeners are drooling. Jen wants him to get the buzz cut again. (Nooo.)

Ryan is backstage with Lauren – she ripped her hose so a stylist is giving her legs a rub down with the shimmery stuff that J.Lo uses. Some things we do not need to see or know about, RYAN. We flashback to Lauren’s initial audition, when she blew everyone away. Her cancer survivor cousin Holly was with her.  Jimmy has chosen a song called “If I Die Young” for Lauren. Well that sounds happy. Tru says that it’s by the band Perry. The lyrics are really sad but Lauren sounds pretty, and like Jimmy said it’s her “sweet spot.” The judges are thrilled that she missed a key change because they are weird like that. Lauren’s lookalike mom gets to talk about how proud she is of her girl.

We are reminded of when Haley auditioned in Milwaukee; it was not her first time around with the show. She also had a mini duet with Steven. Jimmy picked the Fleetwood Mac song “Rhiannon” for Haley. I’ve loved that band forever; Stevie Nicks is one of the coolest artists in rock music history. Thankfully Haley does do justice to the song and dare I say it? I prefer her voice to the original. Our Lady Reinhart is flawless and beautiful, and she even gets a wind machine. Awesome! “Dreams unwind, love’s a state of mind” indeed. She does so much better when she just shuts up and sings. The judges agree but seem to be aware that she is going home tomorrow.

Ryan polls the judges – Steven thinks Lauren took round two, and the others proclaim “Scotty Scotty Scotty.”  Jimmy’s in the audience with Neil Sedaka. He is proud of the execution of the song choices he made for the top three.

Now it’s time for shameless product placement of the guest mentor. Beyonce debuts her latest music video “Run the World,” and it’s one of those girl power anthems. It’s in a Mad Max-like setting with Beyonce in the Tina Turner role. It’s a celebration of girls that will run this motha as long as they have great boobs and long legs. The ditty has one of those beats that will rob your brain of necessary cells that you need to function. I probably will download this as soon as it’s on legalsounds, knowing me.

Tru says that J.Lo is probably sitting there thinking, “Wow Beyonce is like me, only younger and with actual talent.” Snark!

For the final round the top three will sing songs chosen by the judges. Which judge picked what we don’t know yet.

For Scotty, it’s the 500-year-old Kenny Rogers song “She Believes in Me.” He learns this while in Lowes Foods during his hometown visit. Scotty’s face says it all: WTH? This song is about a struggling musician who is glad that he has a very supportive wife. Yes, he can definitely relate. Not. The teenager does right by the song and has a very tender moment. He hits notes that we haven’t heard before – the last two are worth the price of admission. The judges trip all over themselves. Ryan lets Scotty’s dad do a shout out in a heart-warming and funny “lock them doors” moment.

Lauren is at the AT&T in Rossville, GA when she learns that her judge pick is “I Hope You Dance.” (This is commonly known this year as “Nuts of Wonder.” See Hollywood Rounds: Scotty McCreery.) Lauren is gorgeous in the Disney prom gown, and this is the perfect song for her. When given a chance to shine on a song she understands, Lauren is great. Tru is so in love with the hot fiddle player that Lauren always gets. Judges are predictably smug at their song choice. It’s funny when Steven makes fun of Randy’s name dropping. If Lee Ann Womack is watching, hopefully she got a giggle. And maybe some “goosies.” 

Last but not least, Haley gets her text message. Poor gal is in the limo; no footage of a crowd for her. She is doing the Alanis Morrisette hit “You Oughta Know.” Tru immediately asks about the controversial song lyrics and wonders what the judges were thinking when they picked this for Haley. Of course she changes the "theater" line to something more family friendly. She does okay with the chorus but the verses are too low for her. She is not nearly angry enough at Dave Coulier or whoever. Am glad that she bravely took those stairs again, this time successfully. The judges go on and on forever about choruses.

Once again the judges are divided on who won this round. ST says Haley but Randy and Jen pick Lauren.

Quotes:

Ryan: Scotty - he’s got money and punctuation.

Lauren: I always put my hand on your shoulder.  Ryan: That is why they hired me. I am here. I’m like a lean- to.

Steven: Did you fall for me?

Ryan: She looked up and said "somebody’s getting fired."

Randy: I would grow my hair out if I could have the whole wind thing.

Jimmy: I feel like Bruce Springsteen and Garth Brooks had a baby just now.

After the recap, I am convinced that tonight was the night that Haley decided to just go out there and give it her best, results be danged. While I am sure that the final two will consist of teenagers, I have to give my favorite jazzy bluesy gal props for three solid performances. Especially the first one – it rocked the house down. Am off to iTunes to download it right this minute. Because I am in it to win it! (Shut up, it rhymes.)

James Durbin – Making Metal Magic

From his very first audition, when he sang an impromptu duet with Steven Tyler, James Durbin has given new meaning to the words “Dream On.”

James was diagnosed with both Asperger’s and Tourette’s at a young age and has faced many challenges.  He was in Kids on Broadway Theater as a child which helped his social awkwardness, and with the loving support of his family, fiancée and friends, he has pursued a career in music. James has often talked about how his American Idol performances were inspired by Heidi and their son Hunter. 

We learn more about James and his unique musical style from his exit interview. In regards to his departure, he says, “It’s been a whirlwind of emotions. I’ve been thinking about why I came on the show. I’m brought back to those feelings. It’s for my family – and to try and give a voice to a genre of music that is slowly fading away. I accomplished a lot on the show. I’m really grateful for the opportunity.”

The best piece of advice that he received: “Don’t hold back, just roll with it, keep giving it everything.” All of his performances were staged from his own ideas.  “I wrote it, I drew out a story board for everything.  Every performance had an idea. I just ran with it. I’m happy.”

In regards to coming in fourth place, James says that he doesn’t feel like he failed. “This is just the beginning.” He adds, “Getting to work is exciting. I’m really stoked.”

James ensures his fans that his first album will have a “real throwback feel.” He is determined to get metal music back on the charts. He is looking forward to working with artists like Mike Portney and Zakk Wylde.

The rocker is excited about the future. “I’ve only just begun. I feel I’ve been given something special and I’ve been given this great opportunity. To run with it and bring a voice to a new generation. Maybe it’s bringing a voice from an old generation to this generation. I hope I can bring a little bit of that into the picture.”

Read more about James on his official American Idol web page.

“It Ain’t Easy Walkin’ (Out) in Stilettos… But Somebody’s Gotta Do It”

Ryan asks, “Who will become a hometown hero? And who will just be going home?”

72 million votes were cast last night. We saw – James was a singer in a smoky room who met a gypsy, Haley had her nose pressed to the window pane of the weeping shore, Scotty was not very political about yellow ribbons, and Lauren poured out an evil song she believed in.

There are approximately one hundred thousand guest stars tonight, plus results. So let’s get busy. First up, our own contestants perform duets.

James and Scotty sing some country song about being in a band. One of those cutely written ditties encouraging kids that they “don’t need no thought control.” Quit yer worrying about grades and school sports, just slash some Levis and learn “Free Bird.” The combo of long hair and a guitar will send the girls running to your van. Or mom’s new caddy, whichever.

Next is a shout-out about the Season 10 Idol tour that I will not be able to go to because I don’t like crowds. And poor James says that he got poked in the eye by his fiancée while singing earlier. I am sure the liberal Democrats will find some way to blame Scotty for this incident.

Lauren and Haley sing a duet, another country one. Something about packing up a shotgun to shoot some cheatin’ beatin’ SOB. Yeah, one of those tunes that makes all men look bad. It’s funny how Haley gets the “cigarettes and beer” lines instead of Lauren. Hot legs Haley is under 21 too, though. So far great messages to send to the under 13 crowd, American Idol.

The next segment is really just a Windows 7 commercial, which reminds me that I need to upgrade. They chat with their families via MSN or Skype or whatever. Seems like Idol could afford the umi telepresence for families but nooooo. Lauren chats with her Bieber-haired brother and her little doggies. Scotty talks to his cute sister. James connects with his fiancée and adorable little boy. Haley must not be as interesting because she only gets about five seconds of footage.

The Silver Stools of Doom have been spray-painted gold to become the Golden Seats of Success. First to get a spot in the safety zone is Lauren. I am glad they got that out of the way, lest she have a stroke while waiting.

Last night we watched Gaga rub her skank all over the final four contestants. We didn’t get to see them bathe in Lysol for hours afterward. However, we get to watch our singers while they watch her do a “live” performance in concert. She performs the song Haley did last week. You know the one that Randy said was so irrelevant. Maybe if Haley had stood up on a piano stool in a bikini and hooker boots she would have received better reviews. I can’t even blame this show, man. It’s this WORLD we live in.

When Gagme and her mustard-colored hair are finally finished, we move on the next musical guest star. Enrique Iglesias has a famous father, he is cute, and his girlfriend is that pretty blonde tennis player (Anna Somebody). Tonight he combines two recent songs into one and it’s hard to tell which one is less catchy. My Kid Tru says that he also has a song called “Tonight I’m F*ing You,” to which I say no way. She assures me that this is true; however there is a clean edit for the radio. Okay. I don’t get it. I am too old I guess.

Crazy Seacrest jumps after a big balloon from the pretend live Enrique performance. The Ford music video depicts the top four singers with fluorescent gel pens that glow in the dark. They sing “Fireflies” while drawing things in the air. It’s very low tech compared to some of the other vids they’ve done but it’s cute and fun. On the couch, Scotty and James each hold a balloon like it’s a big comfy pillow. This annoys Ryan because he has a show to emcee.

Adorable season six winner Jordin Sparks is back on the Idol stage. She was only 17 when she won, but she is a woman now of the ripe age of 21. She does a song called “I Am Woman” and it’s not the "hear me roar" anthem. This is more of a "hey I am wearing heels and a mini skirt, let’s kick some butt." Yeah! She Beyonces her way through the dance number and has lots of backup dancers to lean on. Jordin is svelte and sexy and out to prove it. Welcome to the slutting up of Idol's sweetheart, America. Sigh.

Now it’s time for the much hyped brand new music video from our very own judge Steven Tyler. I guess his fellow Aerosmith band members are still pissed at him and he has a solo career now. The video is a hodge-podge of circus acts, water sports, and that Pussycat Dolls gal. And a monkey! The song “It Feels So Good” is okay but I forgot it five seconds later.

More results action. Ryan surprises everyone in the entire universe when he reveals that there will be two females in the final three. Haley is safe! That leaves James and Scotty as the final two standing.

James stands there with a defeated look on his face because he knows that he is the one going home. This would have been a whole lot more dramatic if they had paired James with Haley. When James gets the news, he does the classic blowfish face that Chris Daughtry made infamous when he was shockingly booted in fourth place back in season five.

We see his montage and are reminded of Heidi and Hunter and Tourette's and autism. Scarf tails and rock horns and flaming pianos. Marching bands and metal guitarists. To his credit, James really did bring a lot to the Idol stage.

Poor Durbs is very disappointed but that does not stop him from bragging about how he has been the best thing on the show since sliced white bread. It’s exactly that kind of tooting his own horn that turned voters off James. He should have let his talent speak for itself because he has a lot of it.

James reminds us to please “give metal a chance,” and then his sing out is "Maybe I’m Amazed." Because nothing says head-banging like Wings. He sounds fantastic and really is a great showman. Jen’s in tears and in extreme close-up. Tru and I almost lose it ourselves when James gets a hug from Casey in the audience, then a kiss from Heidi.

Perhaps James will follow in Daughtry’s footsteps and form a rock band. He could get the name Durbin tattooed on his back. Hey, whatever works.

Quotes:

Lauren: Did you take my dogs and get them shaved?!

Scotty: I think that one month of piano lessons maybe paid off.

Ryan: Get rid of these things, we gotta get serious.

Next week the final three will get footage from their hometown visits. They will sing three songs each, chosen from various sources. I had already heard on the radio this morning that Scotty would be home this weekend, so that kinda spoiled results night for me. Probably for the Chattanooga and Chicago fans also. Oh well. Now it’s time to find out who gets killed off on Bones.

The Final Four Tell the World They’re Coming Home

We start the show with the awesome Sklyar Grey’s verse of the P. Diddy Daddy Puff Whoever song. “Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday. I know my kingdom awaits, and they’ve forgiven my mistakes. I’m coming home…”

Footage from homecoming events from previous years is shown. We see lots of joyful tears and victorious cheers and triumphant shouts of “I am so happy to be here!” I have to admit that I am misty-eyed after watching this montage.

Then the judges arrive to break the spell. Oh Idol Trio, how I used to adore you. We started season ten on such a good note, full of hope and optimism. Now they are in a three-way tie for Most Annoying.

Dapper Ryan advises us that our remaining four contestants WANT it. They want it BAD. They are “in it to win it.” Take a drink.

When the four walk out, James almost trips over the train of Lauren’s mullet gown. Live television is so cool!

Tonight they will be performing two songs each. The first song will be Inspirational; maybe because we didn’t get Idol Gives Back this year. The second will be from the Lieber and Stoller catalog, to which everyone in the world except maybe three 100-year-olds go, who? Actually this theme was used back in the Carrie Underwood season. I wonder if one of this year’s girls will sing “Trouble” like Carrie did back then.

For the Songs that Inspire segments, the contestants will explain what their song means to them. For the Lieber/Stoller part, the guest mentor will be Lady Gaga. That is a really odd combo - like putting gummy worms on a hamburger. This SHOW sometimes.

First up is James who is doing “Don’t Stop Believing” by Glee. Actually it is really by Journey, a band that Randy knows well. He played bass or something. My liking of Durbs has flip-flopped back and forth all season. While I admire that he has overcome many ailments, that doesn’t account for how over-confident he has become. He is NOT a Steven Tyler yet so he shouldn’t act like one. As Tru says, he’s not even a Gavin Degraw, so he needs to dial it down. James and the judges all think that Durbs sang better than he really did. Once again they are confusing showmanship and pyrotechnics with vocal ability, and once again they are already getting on my nerves. They like his Journey tee-shirt, tuxedo jacket and swagger. James pretends that he received negative feedback last week. You didn’t Durbin. WTH Ryan?

The Design a Coke Cup is hawked next. And a reminder to buy Steven’s autobiography. So what and yeah right to those things, respectively.

Next up is everyone’s favorite punching bag, Haley. She is going to sing a track by Michael Jackson called “Earth Song.” I don’t think I’ve heard this one. Did MJ do obscure? The song is okay, it’s all about war and going green and children in pain. Haley is very passionate about the message of the song but it’s so depressing. Two out of three judges (of course) give her a beat down to the likes of: Why did you choose that stupid song? Just because you like it doesn't mean it’s current. You got to be popular. Did you not watch The Hills? You got to be IN. Haley gives them “cut a bitch” face, and finally Steven jumps in to tell them all to stop arguing. He thought Haley was great. Beautiful even. I feel bad for Haley, but she needs to learn to just be quiet. Voters don’t like it when contestants talk back, even when the judges are all kinds of dense.

Remember Taio Cruz, with the songwriting contest? No? Me neither. Evidently it’s still a thing that is happening.

Scotty is up next, and he gets a chat stool with Ryan. He is doing the Alan Jackson song about 9/11. (Which leads me to a rant – it bugs me when people refer to September 11^th as Nine One One. It’s Nine Eleven. The other is the emergency phone line. Get it right!) Anyway. This song is going to make me cry buckets. Tru says that the timing of this seems well planned given the recent deadness of Osama. (To keep from falling into total despair, Tru and I do our favorite Achmed lines. “Silence! I keel you!”) With his guitar, Scotty croons about talking to God and singing simple songs, and he does justice to the country hit. If you are patriotic, you will vote for Scotty. Kind of like when Kristy Lee did the USA song that time. The judges adore McCreery. Jen even expresses her undying love, in a way that is not as creepy as it sounds.

Casey and Paul are in the audience and help Ryan announce the upcoming Idol tour. We miss Casey’s humor and Paul’s smile. (Dear casting agents for The Hangover Part 3: call them both!)

Of course Lauren is doing the Martina song “Anyway.” This song means a lot to her because it’s about tornados and rebuilding your life. We can’t help but think that she is adorable in the way that sheltered youngsters are sometimes. Her rendition is in between the one that Ms. McBride herself did on the Idol stage a few years ago, and the one that Kristy Lee Cook did back in her day. (It is odd that there are two KLC references in one night. But there you are.) Lauren looks pretty in her short front/long back saloon girl gown. Will the heathen voters take offense with all the Jesus and God songs this episode? Guess what? We don’t care! Once again Randy yells at Lauren that she is BACK. Where did she go? Other than to the salon to get those lowlights, she hasn’t really left. We agree with ST that the shoes are fabulous.

Ryan brings the final four back to the stage to get another run down on who did the best. This was a set up for Haley to get the snot beat out of her again. She gives them stank eye. She’s the American Idol version of “Honey Badger Don’t Care.”

Clear the room of all the kiddies everybody… because here comes Lady Gaga. She forgot her pants but remembered to put her eye makeup all over her face. I can’t even…. so I won’t. Okay I will - the chick is gross ON PURPOSE! Lest we forget though, she can’t help herself. Because she was “born this way, baby.” (“Express yourself, hey hey hey hey.”)

The set up is as follows – each contestant will practice in a stark white room with Jimmy and Gaga. Why there, we don’t know. Perhaps they didn’t want to have to fumigate the studio later.

Haley has already had a Gaga experience with the “You and I” song, and it was not a good one according to the judges. I happen to like Haley’s iTunes version of that song, RANDY. When Gaga calls Haley a “little pony,” is she making fun of her hair? She tells her to go psycho on the “I Who Have Nothing” song. Little Jordin Sparks owned this classic back in her good day, so here’s hoping that Haley puts a different spin on it. And holy heavens, she does. She is every level of awesome that exists. When she sings, she conjures images of boiled bunnies and roller coasters. The judges give her a standing ovation because they are afraid for their lives now. I’m standing up and I am at home where she can’t see me! Can’t wait to download this. Ryan enforces a round of hugs for everyone, but Haley is as over this Trio as we are.

Gaga is so gross with Scotty in the white room that he has to do Hail Marys. Or at least kiss his cross necklace. That boy is not going to give in to this Hollywood crap, but he won’t complain about it either. He’s a good kid. On stage he's doing his very best “drunk best man at the wedding” rendition of “Young Blood.” Yikes it’s corny. The thing with Scotty is that he is consistently fine vocal wise. It’s the crazy eyes, hand-waving, sideways-mic-holding that get in the way of fully enjoying his performance. As Tru says, he is basically doing all of the things that Casey and Haley get yelled at for, but he gets praised. This is one of the reasons that there’s lot of McCreery hatin’ going on right now. Plus he is very outspoken about his faith, which is the main reason we adore the guy. Judges love Scotty’s “ya ya go la la” via Pat Boone.

Lauren gets a sit-down with Ryan. She will be the one to do the Carrie version of the tune that Elvis made famous called “Trouble.” She has issues with calling herself "evil" though; Gaga makes fun of her. Tru and I are reminded of a Willow quote about Buffy: “Sweet girl. Not that bright.” (This Gagme person would have made a great villain on that very awesome show.) Anyway. On stage Lauren really isn’t believable when she says she’s "evil." Neither was Carrie when she did it, and nor was lovable Elliot Yamin when he sang this song during his season. I can’t help but think that Lauren and Haley should have switched songs tonight, heh. We like both of the girls that are left in the running; the judges however only like Lauren. I think this is because of Nigel and his prediction way back when, of Lauren being The One.

One of the songwriters is in the audience, and he says that he is enjoying the performances tonight. Just once I want one of these celebrities to stand up and say - you know what dawg? That wasn’t even close to beautiful. They are not in it to win it.

The last performance tonight is James, and he will be doing “Love Potion Number 9.” This is not the bad early 90s movie starring a young starlet named Sandra Bullock. It’s one of those campy songs that make no sense. Tru says why not just do “Witch Doctor” (oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang) or one eyed one horned flying “Purple People Eater.” Very simply, it’s because they were not written by the Lieber/Stoller duo, so there. To his credit, James sings the heck out of the song and gives it his very all. And his all equals lots of shenanigans. He ends his performance in full rocker mode. It’s okay when he is cocky on stage, just not off stage. The judges are all over the Durbs, much like Gaga was while in the white room with him. The poor guy looked like he was going to hurl. James needs a Purell bath, stat.

Recap time of the final four and then Ryan reminds us to vote vote vote. This is the week that Chris Daughtry went home. Thanks for that memory, Seacrest.


Quotes:

Steven: You deliver notes like a blue plate special.

Steven: You just Reinharted your way into next week.

Ryan: I hear the girls screaming all day long.

Scotty: I’d kiss the grass, first thing I’d do.

Haley: I never thought I’d get emo on this show but…

Ryan: Shhhh Randy, calm down.

Randy: I’m scared.

Scotty: I better have a good-looking microphone.

Ryan: Thank you very much for that activity.

Tomorrow night we will learn which of these two evils is the lesser one – mouthing off at the judges or being a rocker biggity britches. Scotty and Lauren sang about America and God, so they will both be safe this week, I predict. We will see lots of guest stars on tomorrow’s results show, including season six winner Jordin Sparks. Tell the world she’s coming home. We will leave the light on.

Jacob Lusk – A Big Hearted Diva

American Idol introduced us to soulful Jacob Lusk during the Hollywood group rounds, when he did an incredible run at the end of “Get Ready.” Our first thought was “where have they been hiding this guy?”

With his unbelievable range and joyful spirit, Jacob brought a gospel-tinged element to every song he performed on the show this year.

We learn more about “Brother Lusk” during his exit interview. Jacob says that he wanted to do different things and please the Idol fans week after week.  “I’m going to give it my all, I’m not going to hold anything back. And that’s what I did.”

In regards to the infamous “Man in the Mirror” comment, Jacob claims that he was misunderstood. “That was really more about my song selection and what was going on in the world at that time.” He adds, “It was kind of sensationalized a little bit… a whole lot.”

He describes himself as the “R&B crooner, soulful gospel guy.” Like a lot of artists of his genre, he got his start at singing in church. “You can’t take gospel singing out of a person.”

In spite of the criticism he has received from the show runners, especially Jimmy Iovine, he promises to put out the kind of music that his fans will like and have come to expect from him.

Jacob describes how he was teased while in school and had moments when he felt like giving up. He knew the tides were turning when he performed “God Bless the Child” to great praise. “I didn’t want to wonder where I was going to live or if I was going to have money to pay rent, and now I don’t have to worry about that ever again.”

He is proud to have made it to the top five and feels that the remaining contestants are all talented performers. “I want to say thank you to everyone who supported me. I don’t take any of it for granted.”

Learn more about Jacob on his official American Idol web page. 

Someone’s Dreams Will Be Left “On the Floor”

In stark black and white, we are reminded that NOW IS THE TIME. The final five did a mixture of contemporary and classic, a.k.a. “now and then.”

Last night, James was closer to the edge without you, Jacob learned that love hurts with no air, Lauren laid an unchained melody flat on the floor, Scotty was always gone in his mind, Haley took you and I to the house of the rising sun.

The judges get to make their big arrivals. Ho hum. Still annoyed at how they dissed Haley six ways from Sunday for no good reason.

Ryan says that 60 million votes came in to whittle our way to the final four. Full of innuendos, he plugs Steven Tyler’s new autobiography. He also reminds us that J.Lo will be pretending to be doing a live show tonight when we all know that shizz is pre-recorded. Poor Randy and his teal jacket have nothing to promote.

Group performance is to the Turtles “Happy Together.” They are a hot crazy mess. David Cook did a fine version of this back in his very good day, so let’s go listen to that one instead, shall we? Or the “I like turtles” boy on YouTube. Anything but our top five when they are this howling-dog bad.

Ryan is plugging season 11 already. “Take one day to change your life.” Okay I will get right on that. For the Ford music video, they sing “Be Yourself,” and the five do magic tricks. The coolest is when Haley parks a car with the power of her mind. Hey, we saw Brennan do this for real on Bones last week.

For a tasteless time waster, they have brought in that horrible cooking show guy. Apparently, the British terror has a zillion shows on Fox. The singers are cooking omelets which don’t look appetizing at all. Lauren explains that her omelet has eggs in it. (Hello Kellie how we’ve missed you. Not.) By the end of part one of this segment, only Lauren and Jacob have created edible eggs.

Next up is Grammy-winning group Lady Antebellum who perform their brand new song “Just a Kiss.” The lead gal is brunette now and looks totally different than in the “Need You Now” video. Tru says the lead guy is hot; he looks like Ryan Gosling. The poor piano player guy is like the Randy of this trio - just kinda there, nobody really cares.  The song is okay; if you like country-pop, it’s probably awesome. They will sell a crazillion copies by tomorrow morning, hence the reason for making this appearance.

Usually I enjoy the interviews with the contestants because it gives us an opportunity to learn more about them. This next segment is not even subtly disguised as a bing commercial. Don’t they use this same ploy on The Soup? Sorry bing, but you are no google. At least the segment  is amusing as we see them drawing names of songs out of hats and then wearing those hats. They exchange other crazy articles of clothing and blame the stylists for everything that looks bad.

Finally, some results time. James is up first. Like last week, Jimmy gets to have his say. He gives Durbin an 8 because he didn’t keep his tears in control. As always when it’s five people, Ryan starts two groups; James is the beginning of the first one.

Complete with weird unplanned sound effects, Lauren stands next.  Jimmy criticizes her for holding back on the high note and not going all unchained. Such a douche for saying that. Lauren and her very pretty up-do start the second group on the stage.

We are back with more of that silly British cooking guy and his shenanigans with the final five. Jacob and Lauren have to do a blindfolded taste test and it’s just stupid. Didn’t Pickler do this back in her day? What the heck is tofu made of anyway? Oh yeah, hot dogs. Lauren wins the cooking challenge. Score one for southern girls.

Now we get to pretend along with Ryan and everyone else that our very own La Lopez is going to be performing live in front of our eyes. It’s so silly to keep up this pretense when there are at least a thousand bloggers who do “behind the scenes” recaps of what it’s like in the Idoldome. We are expected to play along.  So okay, it’s live, y’all. Grab some popcorn like Ryan and the guys.

Jen and eleventy hundred backup dancers writhe and jiggle to “On the Floor.”  That bald Pitbull guy is there too. This song is a bonafide hit. “Thank you American Idol,” says Jennifer’s singing career. As silly dance ditties go, it’s … well still terrible. Jen is very pretty though.  People magazine agrees.

More results… Jacob caterwauled his way through both his Now and Then; Jimmy was not amused. Jacob joins Lauren, and she immediately gets nervous.

Haley is next and gets slapped around again about the Gaga song. Jimmy was pissed that the judges beat her down over his idea. Good going Iovine! He gives her a 10 and reminds us that she won the night. Haley joins James on the stage.

Scotty is the last one to stand up. Last night he was fast then slow and Jimmy likes him. Ryan admits that last week he was NOT in the bottom two. (Called that!) Five bucks says that Ryan will ask him to choose which group, and ten bucks says that Scotty will refuse. I win and I win. Seacrest pushes him to the James and Haley side; these three are safe.

This leaves a sobbing Lauren and subdued Jacob as the bottom two. Bejeez, that was probably a long awkward commercial break for these two. Kieran dims the lights. Jacob is the one going home and Lauren gets a big hug from Scotty.

Jacob reminds everyone that he is the Baby Luther in a lavender shirt. He appeals to everyone, he says. As David Cook sings, we see his montage of “divine intervention” and gospel-tinged excitement. Since it’s his swan song, he doesn’t have to hold back anymore, so he pulls out the Lusky Stank on “A House is Not a Home.” The other four hug him and he just keeps going. He’s like the Energizer bunny and Will. Not. Stop. Hollering.

Quotes:

Scotty: I love Jesus!

Ryan: Is there any area that you haven’t touched?

Haley: “Thong Song.”

Lauren: Our stylist wants to kill me. Big time!

So we are down to two country teenagers, a rocker, and a bluesy chick. As much as I have grown to like Haley, I predict the final three will be Scotty, James and Lauren, with the boys being the top two. But I have been wrong before. Or as my kid says every single time. Truth!