My Idol Obsession

Scotty McCreery – Our Hometown Superstar

2011-05-28T16:25:00.002-04:00

When we saw Scotty’s first audition and learned that he was from Garner, we became instant fans. Not just because his hometown is right down the road from us, but because of his deep, rich voice and sparkling personality.

Scotty consistently performed well during the season, never straying far from his country roots. He gave his fans exactly what they had come to expect. What has impressed me the most about the lovable 17-year-old is that he has never wavered from professing his devout faith in Christ.

The winner of season ten revealed more insight during his wrap-up interviews. “This is pretty wild, I gotta say. A whole lot more than I bargained for coming into this – I never would have expected it.” Scotty feels that he is handling the "crazy ride" well so far.

Scotty looks forward to performing at the upcoming CMA music festival. He’d like to play the Grand Ole Opry as well. The teenage winner was surprised and thrilled to learn that his first single is currently number one on iTunes.

The young southern gentleman genuinely felt that he would come in second to Lauren Alaina. “She's something else. She sings like a bird. She’s just an amazing young lady.” He denies rumors of a romance with the fellow contestant. He hopes to cut a duet with Lauren for his first album.

In regards to his amazing voice, Scotty says, "I’ve always kinda sounded the same… Vegas week was the week that I discovered that I could kinda sing higher than I had been singing in the competition so far."

He adds, "Everybody had their own niches. Country music is me. It’s what I grew up with. It’s what I do. I didn’t have any intention of changing. My thing was - if it got me this far, why change it up? It’s what I love to do."

Read more about this season’s winner on his official American Idol page.

Lauren Alaina – Teenage Dynamo

2011-05-27T20:12:00.003-04:00

From her very first appearance on the show, fans could tell that Lauren would be a front-runner. The cute, funny, talented teenager demonstrated versatility during the season that won her many fans.

Week after week Lauren delivered entertaining performances; the Georgia native is a natural on the stage. We learn more about this year’s adorable runner-up from her post-show interviews.

Lauren was raised on country music and it’s the genre that is closest to her heart. She is hoping to make it to the CMA festival this year. Carrie Underwood is one of the artists that she looks up to, and she was thrilled to perform with her at the finale.

She has been a fan of American Idol since the beginning and was thrilled when the age limit was lowered to fifteen. She doesn’t regret trying out so young. “I feel like if something’s your dream and you know what you want, you should go for it.”

The teenager feels that her lack of self-confidence had a positive effect in the long run. She is her own worst critic. “The things I didn’t like about myself, I worked on the whole time I was on the show and really tried to improve myself. It was really helpful for me to grow as a person and as an artist.”

She is completely satisfied with her second place finish on the show this year. “God has a different plan for me,” she says. “I’m very fortunate to have made it.”

There has been a lot of gossip that Lauren and Scotty are more than friends but she denies this rumor. She says, “I couldn’t have picked a better person to get second place to but him.”

As for being a role model to others, the singer says, “I’m not fake and I don’t want to mislead people as to who I am. I crack jokes a lot but I can be serious too... I plan on not changing who I am for anything.”

You can read more about Lauren Alaina Suddeth on her official American Idol web page.

And the Winner Was a Country Teenager

2011-05-25T23:16:00.011-04:00

At the beginning of season ten approximately half the population of planet Earth tried out for American Idol. Now we are down to just two.

Two hour finale tonight! Spoilers on the ‘net promise lots of surprises. “Who do you love?” Ryan wants to know. And now that song is stuck in our heads. Thanks Seacrest.

Over 122 million votes were cast, a new record. All in all the season total of votes equal almost the amount of money that Oprah made this year.

They Who Must Not Be Named are already seated. My Kid Tru asks me why I am so down on the judges after spending weeks as their biggest fan. I don’t have all night to explain it. Got a show to blog!

The adorables come out to the stage, and they are both dressed in white. I have grown fond of both of these kids. Lauren and Scotty – here’s hoping that when you get grown you’ll end up together, and H'wood will make a Lifetime movie of your journey. Seriously. That would be epic.

We see a quick shot of Chattanooga and Raleigh where cheering fans are holding viewing events. Looks like more folks are at the RBC Center, but that could just be me being partial.

The top 13 lip synch Lady Gaga’s “Born this Way.” It would be so HIGH-larious if they opened the big door and Madonna came out and started singing “Express Yourself.” How Gagme got away with ripping that off remains an unsolved mystery. But I digress… The group number is as cheesy as ever which is why we love it. Long live the pointy pose!

Judas Priest and James Durbin beg us all once again to “give metal a chance.” The Durbs looks like he’s ready for a Village People reunion. Pyro! James sounds really good here. It’s like old metal meets new. Their version of “Breaking the Law” makes me giggle. My mom just turned 67 and she is a big James fan; I bet she is loving this gig.

A video montage showing the “best of” Randy Jackson (the veteran) being in it to win it. He is amused at the drinking game that he has created this year.

Next to perform are Jacob Lusk with gospel star Kirk Franklin; they are here to take us to church. They sing “Smile,” then Gladys Knight joins them with a full-fledged choir. There is a shout out to tornado victims with a text number to donate to the American Red Cross.

Casey Abrams is on stage with a couch singing “Fat Bottomed Girls.” Of all the Queen songs, why this one? Oh, so that scantily clad back-up dancers can prance on stage. Jack Black joins in; Tru loves him in School of Rock. At first I thought he was Randy Hickey. As a singer he is a good comedian. We still adore Casey, but this act is more like an SNL skit.

Next the ladies of the top 13 take the stage dressed in red. They start with “Single Ladies” and then go into a Beyonce medley. Karen sounds really good, and Naima of course still has the moves. Haley sounds awesome on “If I Were a Boy.” And Pia, oh how we missed you. Then Beyonce Herself comes out to sing “Crazy in Love.” Hugs to all the girls. She shows them how it is done.

The Steven Tyler highlight reel is shown next. We are reminded of when he was funny and sassy and a huge old flirt. Man, the things that ancient rockers can get away with.

My girl Haley is up next to sing a duet with Tony Bennett. Tru and I both wonder why she got the 85-year- old, but you know what? He is fabulous and so is she; that was some good “Stepping Out.” It’s so strange that Tru and I are the only Haley fans that we know personally. There have to be more – she made top three after all.

The most beautiful woman in the world (according to People magazine) gets her judge montage next. it’s all about the fawning. And I am a-yawning. See, I am a poet.

The R&B group TLC, minus the one who died but plus Lil Jon, sing a medley. Then the ladies of the Idol 13 come out. Their mics seem to be turned down. Lauren is absent in this group performance. Just realized that she wasn’t in the Beyonce group either. The TLC gals sound rough tonight.

Scotty and country superstar Tim McGraw sing the song “Live Like You Were Dying.” Scotty and Tim sound really good together. Goodness, Faith Hill’s hubby is hot. He is a decent actor too, especially in Blind Side. Tru doesn’t remember this, but when she was three, she sang his songs all the time. “I Like It I Love It” was her favorite.

The DJ wannabe from earlier in the season does a mock W-IDOL to do highlights of the best of the very worst of the auditions this year. The “unsung heroes” segment reminds us of why the early rounds were so entertaining. Because mocking obtuse people is fun, especially when they literally fall flat on their faces.

An angry mummified corpse is singing some kind of Spanish ditty. Oh wait, it’s J.Lo's hubby Marc Anthony. He is surrounded by flamenco dancers, and then she shows up midway to shake her booty. The marvelous Sheila E. is on drums. Marc just seems irritated all the time for some reason.

A video of the losing Idols is shown next and it’s full of sass and humor. Casey and James are really funny as they battle for the most shocking boot. They could definitely do a sitcom. It turns out that Pia is the most shocking, and she has the sash and tiara to prove it.

Boys in black from the top 13 take the stage to do the Prince song “Kiss.” Stefano shines on this one. Wait, it must be a Tom Jones medley because they do “She’s a Lady" with Paul on lead. Then that stupid pussycat song, but James and Casey can add humor to anything. Finally Tom Jones himself shows up. When did he turn into Fred Sanford? All in all a good time is had by all.

The last Ford music video of the season is of Scotty and Lauren singing “Whenever You Remember.” They sound good together. A highlight reel of previous videos is shown. Zombies! Superheroes! Spies! Oh yeah and Fords.

Ryan introduces Scotty and Lauren’s favorite teachers next. On their hometown visits the contestants invited them to the finale. Tonight the teachers each get a Ford Focus as a surprise.

The final two contestants also each get a Ford; they get to choose which one they want. Those cars will come in handy when they learn how to drive.

Lady Gaga comes back to perform her new song “Edge of Glory.” She stands on something that looks like a big rock, which reminds me of a Buffy quote - Spike: “It’s a big rock. I can’t wait to tell all my friends. They don’t have a rock this big.” Some famous sax player shows up. Gagme makes out with some shirtless dude. Hide your kids’ eyes, mommas; the show just turned R-rated.

Next to the stage is our own Lauren Alaina who sings the Carrie song about keying 4-wheel-drives and whatnot. Then Carrie herself joins her on stage. Wow she has grown into a true performer. Gone are the Carrie-bot days. Say whoa to awesomeness. It’s very admirable how Ms. Underwood stands back to let Lauren shine.

In the funniest video I have seen in a long long while, the other contestants reveal their “true feelings” about the final two being mere children. It starts out serious but then gets funny. There is some untapped acting talent among this group.

Beyonce is back AGAIN to showcase a new ballad. Not sure what it’s called but she shouts “make love to me” about a thousand times. Geesh, family SHOW. At least she’s dressed. Proof that you can perform well without standing on top of a piano half nekkid, Gagme.

I like Beyonce and most of the other stars that they’ve had on the show tonight, but it seems like they could have had more past Idol recognition on the finale. Last year’s winner Lee DeWyze was sitting in the audience. I also spotted David Cook and Micheal Johns, and there were probably tons more. Just saying. Drink your own Kool-Aid, American Idol.

We have read about Spiderman being made into a Broadway musical and that there have been hardships. Some very extremely handsome young man joins Bono and The Edge on stage to sing a song called “Rise Above.” Wow this is a great song. A guy in a Spidey suit is aerialing his way above the Nokia. He makes a stop to hang upside down in front of J.Lo, but she is not doing the kiss thing like Mary Jane Watson.

Steven (sans Aerosmith) plays piano and gently sings “Dream On.” Then he kicks it up a notch and swings his be-scarved mic stand around. Look out orchestra! When he hits the high note, look out glass objects! “That was just beautiful.” “He is in it to win it.” “Y’know I’m in love wit’ch you.”

Finally it’s time to learn the results from the 122 million votes. Scotty looks handsome and Lauren is gorgeous in her yellow dress. They goof off while the requisite British guy brings Ryan the envelope.

Scotty is the winner! Lauren seems to be fine. Scotty hugs Lauren and she gives him a kiss right on the lips. In his short speech he says that he and Lauren have been together since the beginning and they will stay together. Then he thanks The Lord; I love this kid for that the most.

It’s time for Scotty to sing the “Big” song again. He hugs his parents and various family members in the audience. Jack Black is left standing there like - where’s my hug? So funny!

Back on the stage Scotty hugs all of the top 13, and then falls to the floor crying. He hops back up though like a trooper. Because he is a kid he tries to catch the confetti like snow. Lauren keeps kissing him on the cheek over and over. Such cute young'ens.

Quotes:

Ryan: I promise I will try to get it in before your DVRs stop this year.

Ryan: Nice abs.

James: We’re the shocker rockers.

Ryan: You guys have hot teachers.

Now it’s time to watch the news footage from the action that is happening right down the road - 8200 people at the RBC center. Whew what a season! Here’s a proud North Carolina gal signing off, with sniffles.

The Boy Next Door and The Southern Belle

2011-05-24T23:52:00.078-04:00

It’s been all over the interwebs this afternoon that Lauren Alaina has lost her voice and might have to drop out of the finale. They say Haley is there practicing in case she needs to fill in at the last minute. Yeah fricking right. Lauren wouldn't drop out if she was rendered mute. Wake up and smell the conspiracy, NIGEL.

While I believe it’s true that Lauren had problems, WHY publicize them to death at this stage of the competition? Read: Publicity stunt to garner the sympathy vote. This producer manipulation is so irritating, but I am going to try not to hold it against the contestant. It’s not her fault she has been pimped out as Lythgoe’s Choice all season.

Okay. Games be danged… on with the finale.

The beginning of the show recalls good memories of Carrie’s win in season four and my favorite champ of all time, David Cook in season seven. Quick montage of Lauren and Scotty as kids (about a year ago.)

The puppets, er, I mean judges arrive. Whoop. Tuxedo’d Ryan says that there are 7,000 fans in the Nokia tonight. The rest of the top 13 are in the audience. We have only an hour tonight for Scotty and Lauren to do three songs each, so let’s get busy.

When the top two teenagers come out on stage, I am reminded of a Buffy quote – Anya: “This isn’t going to get all sexy, is it?” Willow: “I’d be shocked.”

As we figured, they are going to milk this "Lauren’s voice" issue for all it’s worth. They even bring the DOCTOR out on the stage to explain it. My Kid Tru and I both call BS on this. Where was Casey’s doc when he had a ruptured ulcer earlier this year? He just shrugged it off, no drama. Gah.

Again… can’t hold it against the kid. Can’t hold it against the kid. Repeat ten more times.

Deep breath. Okay. Three rounds of singing tonight. Last week, they did the coin toss to see who would go last, which traditionally is the best spot. Scotty won but because he is a gentleman, he deferred to Lauren to decide. In essence, he lost - he will be up first tonight.

The first round will be a repeat of one of the songs the kids did before. In his best tee-shirt and leather jacket, Scotty chooses the upbeat Montgomery Gentry hit “Gone.” He works the crowd and changes it up a bit from last time. Wisely dials down the campiness. Hot fiddle player alert! Evidently the “judges” - and I use sarcastic quotation marks - will be saving their comments until later.

Carrie’s "Flat on the Floor" is the song that Lauren is repeating. She did this great the last time and in spite of all the voice problems, she does fine again. She’s wearing a shiny Star Trek-like outfit. I am really trying to not be skeptical but Jaded is my middle name these days. Surely the viewers are not going to swallow this drama hook line and sinker are they? Still no remarks from the peanut gallery.

The second round includes songs that were picked from the contestants' own idols. If this was a two hour show then perhaps we would get a chance to see these mentors interact with the finials. No chance of that – Seacrest is talking 80 mph.

Scotty’s song was chosen by George Strait. Back in plaid, he is singing “Check Yes or No,” a song that is very special to me. My angel daughter used to love this song and sang it all the time. Scotty plays guitar and does a fine enough job. Funny faces aside, he really is the most adorable human on the planet.

For Lauren, Carrie Underwood chose a song by Pam Tillis called “Maybe it was Memphis.” According to Carrie’s twitter, this is a song that she wanted to do back in her AI day. In her sequined dress with mushroom skirt, Lauren does well with the song, as she always does. It’s still not evident that she has vocal trouble.

Finally the judges speak. And you know what? I really could not care less. Actually there are several other things that I could not care less about but would rather reflect upon instead – the upcoming Glee season finale, Oprah's big good riddance, er I mean farewell, that whiney Meredith voiceover soap about doctors, and that dancing show that has kicked American Idol out of the number one spot. Just to name a few.

The other day I was reading the January entries of this blog. Back then I was full of hope and wonder about this new judge panel. Now? Bring on The Voice and X Factor. I will even settle for America’s Got (Very Little) Talent.

The Coke songwriting contest with Taio Cruz is over, and he is here to perform the song called "Positive." Yes, I am positive that I want to claw my eyes out and poke holes at my ear drums. This sounds like every other song out there but with ghostly drums for backup. And sunglasses indoors = not cool. Next please.

We’re at the final round for Scotty and Lauren tonight. Ryan explains that they will be performing the songs that will be their first singles if they win. Usually both winner and runner up release a song so I expect that both of these tunes will be available for download before daybreak.

Jimmy explains how important this whole “original song” thing is, and the selling of records and whatnot. He is really excited about the song choices. He reminds me of a cartoon character who has dollar signs for eyes.

The song for Scotty is called “I Love You This Big” and it’s a nice ditty with clever word play. Scotty is handsome in a suit from the Jacob Lusk collection. Clips of his Idol journey play in the background while he sings. For the first time he seems a bit nervous, but he does well on a song we’ve never heard. The swaybots are so distracting and annoying.

For Lauren, the song is “Like My Mother Does” which was on Kristy Lee Cook’s album that kerplunked. They don’t mention that part on the show of course. Her montage plays in the background too. Lauren looks lovely and the song is nice enough treacle. Ryan walks her down the stairs so that she can go hug her mom. Thank you show, I needed a really good cry.

Before I can even get flared up about this propping, I see David Archuleta's sweet face in the audience. Awww! Lauren’s mom is sobbing and Lauren has tears also. The three people on the panel hand the contest to Lauren on a silver platter. With shimmer and gloss. Whatevs, it’s time for a girl to win anyway. Poor Scotty is just an afterthought at this point.

Recap time of the six songs, which all went as well as expected. Both of these kids are super talented; they are great singers and performers. Scotty and Lauren each have their own quirks as well, but they can work those out in time. It's heartwarming how sweet those two are with each other.

Finally, the moment that I have waited all evening for… David Cook!!! He is there to sing this year’s boot off song “Don’t You Forget about Me.” He looks and sounds just as wonderful as ever. THIS is how it’s done, y’all. Highlights of the best and worst of season 10 play on the screen behind him.

Quotes:

Ryan: The only doctor in black scrubs.

Ryan: How do you feel about the last Oprah, ladies and gentleman?

Well, they couldn’t have made it more obvious if they’d all been holding up signs that read "Nigel wants Lauren to win." If she loses tomorrow night the producers will blame it on her busted voice. I’d rather see our hometown boy take the title but am okay with either of them. We shall see tomorrow night at the finale. Until then, rest your vocal chords.

Haley Reinhart - the Bluesy Bombshell

2011-05-21T19:17:00.018-04:00

From the time we first met Haley at the Milwaukee audition, she proved to be full of spirit with a unique singing style. It took her a few weeks to gain momentum, but the 20-year-old Chicago native had something to prove – and prove it she did.

We learn more about Haley, the self-described “goofball,” during her exit interview. The superstar in the making has been performing in her family’s band since she was a child. “My parents have taught me the rules of the stage since I was 8.” She was thrilled to have her dad perform with her on the show and at her hometown event. “I got to go back home and play with them – having them on the stage and actually getting to give them a couple of licks and show America what they could do was so special to me.”

In regards to her rendition of Idol cover songs, she explains that she liked taking the songs in a different direction and making them more “funkified.” She believes that the judges’ criticism was to help her move further in the competition. “It was apparent that they liked to get me to where I could be at the top of my game, and get me a little fired up…I come out with something that they didn’t expect. It’s up to America. I got to Top 3 and that was quite alright.”

Haley has no regrets and is glad that she got to show versatility. “I took a lot of risks in the beginning when usually you do the opposite, maybe they didn’t know how to take me. I started getting into my own little niche – the rock, bluesy sultry feel – and I think America finally started to catch on.”

In regards to her ousting this week, she is not upset. “Of course everybody is going to be surprised with the verdict. All in all, I accepted it very quickly, took it in, took it all with a grain of salt. Everything happens for a reason. This is a good thing; it only means that I’m going to start my career as a solo artist even sooner.”

She adds, “You have seconds to think about it. I took a second and then I said – alright. This is it. Guess what – I have to sing a song in about five seconds. Let’s have a good time with it – show America why they kept me there so long. Give them a good show.”

The singer has a lot of ideas about what her debut record will be like. “To begin with, I would love to do an album that’s like sultry bluesy rock. I absolutely love jazz, so hopefully I can slip that in somewhere.” She is thankful for the advice she received from the mentors on the show and grateful that they treated her like a professional. “They were all so down to earth and very generous with their comments. It was very sweet all around.”

Haley doesn’t feel that the audience really got to know the real her. “I’m usually bubbly.” She will miss everyone on the show. “Everybody is such a big family… They’ve got my back. Gosh, I love everybody back there.”

Learn more about Haley on her official American Idol web page.

Which Two Will Be “Right There” in the Finale?

2011-05-19T23:07:00.022-04:00

Tonight the show will make it official that this year’s finale will consist of teens Lauren and Scotty. No surprises to be had here folks, nothing really to see, so move along.

Last night – Scotty was amazed and believed he would get a kiss. Lauren took a wild one on a dance to die young. Haley and Rhiannon oughta know what should never be.

Jimmy Iovine gives his take on the performances of the final three. He says that there will be a guy in the finale. More news from the file marked duh.

The rest of the top 13 are in the audience tonight. Some of these I barely remember … was Tyra Banks one of them? Oh, it’s that Ashthon gal.

Ryan says that 95 million votes were cast, more than any other at this stage. It makes sense because of online voting. Thank you internet and AT&T.

When we had a top four, they visited J.J. Abrams to see a clip of his new movie Super 8. While it’s obvious to a fan girl like me how awesome this guy is (Lost! Alias! The new Star Trek reboot!), the contestants don’t seem to connect the dots. Oh what sheltered lives they lead. J.J. is kinda off-kilter as well. This American Idol thing, that’s a show? Okay. Here are some cameras for you. Off they go.

The littlest Fanning sister is in the audience with Ryan. She is in the Super 8 movie and is also there to gush over Scotty. On behalf of her six-year-old cousin, natch.

The first hometown visit we see is for Haley in Wheeling, near Chicago. It’s raining and she freaks out over the limo. She is thrilled and surprised at the 30,000 fans in attendance. Haley is so funny with Aaron the bodyguard. She reconnects with her family and tries not to cry at various reunions. Footage from her high school visit and park concert show an excited yet laid back Haley giving her all to the fans. It’s cool that she sang with her family. I’d like to see the entire concert; hopefully it’s on YouTube somewhere.

The core voting base – tiny little girls – help Ryan with the intro of the Ford music video. The two gals and a boy frolic on the beach and take videos which they then upload using the Ford Focus technology. Supposedly, the Idols are the ones singing in all of these videos, but in this version of “Smile,” I dunno. That does not sound like Scotty on the verse AT ALL. If that is him, he has been holding back his pop persona this whole time.

My Kid Tru and I can’t sit through this next segment. We can’t even. It’s a trio of Italian boys who are singing opera. Gah. I have some laundry to fold. At least these kids can sing; their voices are fabulous. This just isn’t our thang.

The next hometown visit we see is the one that was right down the road from us. Scotty’s visit to Garner is chock full of people that we know, especially Tru. Thankfully I can pause the DVR so that she can name all of them. After watching this, if folks aren’t convinced that Scotty is a sweet kid, then they just have no soul. Scotty is crying as well as little girls and their grandmas. So are Tru and me. We especially lose it when country star Josh Turner shows up to surprise Scotty on stage. “Baby lock them doors” will go in the dictionary this year as the definition for quirky awesomeness.

Our other musical guest star performers are that Nicole gal from the Pussycat Dolls. She’s everywhere these days – she won the Dancing with the D-List show a couple years ago (to which Tru says RIGGED!) She is also going to be a co-host on Simon’s X Factor show this fall. Last week we saw her in Steven Tyler’s music video. Tonight she is here to perform “Right There” with 50 Cent and 14 thousand backup dancers. Like the opera guys before, this is not music that I am interested in listening to at all. Seems like they could have brought in Melinda Doolittle or Mandisa. What’s David Archuleta doing? I’d settle for freaking Sanjaya over this mess.

The last hometown visit is to Georgia with Lauren Alaina. The peppy teen is funny in the limo with the police escort. She shows compassion during the tour of the devastation from the tornados. (Tornados hit our area too, but that was ignored on the NC visit.) Tru and I are totally loving THIS Lauren - the typical teenager who is living her dream. When she visits the little boy who saved his family during the storm, it’s a sweet teary moment. Hopefully she will cherish this day regardless of the outcome of the show. And we finally see cousin Holly again!

It is time for some results… all three are gathered as in prayer. Ryan is just going to make them wait and wait and wait… FINALLY the first person in the finale is Scotty. No surprise.

Next Lauren learns that she will be joining Scotty next week in the Nokia Theater. The expression on Haley’s face says DISAPPOINTMENT very clearly, but she bounces back though like a pro. The girl has always worn her heart on her sleeve. Naysayers and Haley haters (JENNIFER) will be laughing at her this week – last night the fall and tonight that face…. oh well. When Haley outsells all of them she will get the last laugh.

Back in the early rounds, who knew that perpetual bottom 3-er Haley Reinhart would land in the final three? As a fan of hers, I am proud of the progress that she has made. Her farewell montage clearly shows her journey, which has been a good one.

Haley, in her crazy headband and flowing belly shirt, gives the sing out of her life. She shines on the Elton John song she did earlier this year. She looks like a superstar, she sings great, she improvises the lyrics to fit the moment. She works the audience to include the other ten ousted contestants, then gives a hug and kiss to mom and dad. Voters, man - “they’re weird and they’re wonderful” indeed.

Quotes:
Scotty: J.J.'s in it to win it! James: J.J. just might win the whole thing!

Haley: You guys are nuts. I love it.

Ryan: Dude’s big!

Lauren: Oh no it wasn’t me, I swear!

So next week, as predicted – two country teenagers. Joy. (That was my sarcastic voice.) Seriously, I like both of these kids and wish them nothing but the best. For now, I am going to burn myself a CD of Haley songs. It’s like “soul food” for the ears.

Two Blondes and a Country Boy

2011-05-18T23:50:00.042-04:00

“Their journey began as a humble dream,” so say the placards. A typical teenage girl who likes to tumble in the front yard. A southern high school boy who plays baseball. A jazzy blonde bombshell who sings the blues. We see a brief snippet of each of the three’s hometown visits and will get more details on that tomorrow night.

The judges arrive but they are of no consequence to me. I am very disappointed at the direction our star/fan relationship has headed. So hmmmph!

Some yahoo in the audience has a homemade sign that says THANK U FORD. I agree - yes Ford, thanks for ripping me off on that Escort, much appreciated.

Ryan reminds everyone that next week the final two will perform on Tuesday with results on Wednesday. Why? We don’t know. Perhaps that is the only time they could get the Nokia Theater.

As we all know, the top three got sent home in style last weekend. Scotty’s venue was about 10 miles from our house but we didn’t want to fight the crowds. I watched it on the local news and that was good enough.

For the first time, the fourth place contestant got a hometown visit. We see about ten seconds of the footage from James Durbin’s return to Santa Cruz.

The top 3 come out and wow – their outfits are the best of the 70s, 80s and 90s. My Kid Tru tells me that I have no fashion sense. So I guess white go-go boots, faded denim jackets and black fringe are making a comeback. Who knew?

This year’s top three episode is the same format as usual – contestants’ choice, producer's choice (in this case, Jimmy), and then judges’ choice.

The mentor for the first song is mega star Beyonce. Every time I hear or see her name I immediately start singing “to the left, to the left.” It’s just a thing that happens automatically. In her montage, we see Mrs. Jay-Z go from Destiny’s Child to Dream Girls, with 16 Grammys in between.

Beyonce says that there is something special about each of the three contestants. She will be tutoring them from a lovely wood-paneled piano room with a splendid garden view.

After the Beyonce clip, the camera cuts back to the judges and their reactions are comical. Jennifer gives “Eff You” face, Randy claps as an afterthought, and Steven wakes up to mouth “Hi mom” or whatever to the camera. Did I mention that I am over these three?

First up is Scotty and his personal song choice is “Amazed.” Beyonce exclaims “that’s my boy” and pretends to know the band Lonestar. He sounds good during practice and as always delivers a calm, confident performance on stage tonight. We agree with Ms. Knowles, he is a cutie pie. He must have caught a “buy one plaid shirt, get three free sale” at Kohl's or wherever he shops in H’wood. The judges profess their devotion and Randy name drops. Scotty drops a name too – he says he put a little “Casey growl” in his first song tonight. That young Scotty, he “jest keeps gettin' better.”

In the piano room, Lauren is thrilled to meet Beyonce. The superstar likes Lauren’s loose and fun performances the best. She tries to explain her Sasha Fierce persona to the teenager, but it does not seem to compute. Tonight Lauren has chosen the Faith Hill version of “Wild One” for her first song. It’s a tune she knows well and she has fun with it. A couple of weeks ago Lauren said that the stylists were trying to kill her and tonight there is proof of that. I hope she waters the huge flower earrings before they wither. The judges “little baby” did great but she is still holding back.

Our gal Haley has been warned a thousand times about doing the lesser known songs, but she doesn’t care. Even Beyonce is confused as to why the songstress has chosen a Led Zeppelin tune for contestant’s choice. Haley explains that she has performed this with her family band. Once again she proves that being a risk taker pays off – her rendition of “What Is and What Should Never Be” is fantastic. Having her dad playing guitar on stage with her adds to the energy of the performance. Even a stumble up the stairs doesn’t stop Miss Reinhart from owning round one!

Terra Nova = CAN’T WAIT! A weird guy in a dog costume is in the audience. Tru says it’s from an upcoming sitcom that I will not be watching. Donnie Darko still gives me nightmares.

There’s no more Clive Davis, so producer and season 10 mentor Jimmy Iovine picked the songs for the next round.

On the chat stools with Scotty, we see the initial audition footage again of “lock them doors” and Steven’s duck abuse. After trying to explain Tom Petty, Jimmy’s choice for Scotty is a song called “Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not” by a group I have not heard of before. Google tells me that Thompson Square is not only a landmark in Boston but also a husband/wife country duo. This is a very recent hit song on country radio, so fans of that genre will be thrilled. Scotty plays guitar and sings the light-hearted song as well as ever. The judges state the obvious when they tell Scotty that ten crazillion tweeners are drooling. Jen wants him to get the buzz cut again. (Nooo.)

Ryan is backstage with Lauren – she ripped her hose so a stylist is giving her legs a rub down with the shimmery stuff that J.Lo uses. Some things we do not need to see or know about, RYAN. We flashback to Lauren’s initial audition, when she blew everyone away. Her cancer survivor cousin Holly was with her. Jimmy has chosen a song called “If I Die Young” for Lauren. Well that sounds happy. Tru says that it’s by the band Perry. The lyrics are really sad but Lauren sounds pretty, and like Jimmy said it’s her “sweet spot.” The judges are thrilled that she missed a key change because they are weird like that. Lauren’s lookalike mom gets to talk about how proud she is of her girl.

We are reminded of when Haley auditioned in Milwaukee; it was not her first time around with the show. She also had a mini duet with Steven. Jimmy picked the Fleetwood Mac song “Rhiannon” for Haley. I’ve loved that band forever; Stevie Nicks is one of the coolest artists in rock music history. Thankfully Haley does do justice to the song and dare I say it? I prefer her voice to the original. Our Lady Reinhart is flawless and beautiful, and she even gets a wind machine. Awesome! “Dreams unwind, love’s a state of mind” indeed. She does so much better when she just shuts up and sings. The judges agree but seem to be aware that she is going home tomorrow.

Ryan polls the judges – Steven thinks Lauren took round two, and the others proclaim “Scotty Scotty Scotty.” Jimmy’s in the audience with Neil Sedaka. He is proud of the execution of the song choices he made for the top three.

Now it’s time for shameless product placement of the guest mentor. Beyonce debuts her latest music video “Run the World,” and it’s one of those girl power anthems. It’s in a Mad Max-like setting with Beyonce in the Tina Turner role. It’s a celebration of girls that will run this motha as long as they have great boobs and long legs. The ditty has one of those beats that will rob your brain of necessary cells that you need to function. I probably will download this as soon as it’s on legalsounds, knowing me.

Tru says that J.Lo is probably sitting there thinking, “Wow Beyonce is like me, only younger and with actual talent.” Snark!

For the final round the top three will sing songs chosen by the judges. Which judge picked what we don’t know yet.

For Scotty, it’s the 500-year-old Kenny Rogers song “She Believes in Me.” He learns this while in Lowes Foods during his hometown visit. Scotty’s face says it all: WTH? This song is about a struggling musician who is glad that he has a very supportive wife. Yes, he can definitely relate. Not. The teenager does right by the song and has a very tender moment. He hits notes that we haven’t heard before – the last two are worth the price of admission. The judges trip all over themselves. Ryan lets Scotty’s dad do a shout out in a heart-warming and funny “lock them doors” moment.

Lauren is at the AT&T in Rossville, GA when she learns that her judge pick is “I Hope You Dance.” (This is commonly known this year as “Nuts of Wonder.” See Hollywood Rounds: Scotty McCreery.) Lauren is gorgeous in the Disney prom gown, and this is the perfect song for her. When given a chance to shine on a song she understands, Lauren is great. Tru is so in love with the hot fiddle player that Lauren always gets. Judges are predictably smug at their song choice. It’s funny when Steven makes fun of Randy’s name dropping. If Lee Ann Womack is watching, hopefully she got a giggle. And maybe some “goosies.”

Last but not least, Haley gets her text message. Poor gal is in the limo; no footage of a crowd for her. She is doing the Alanis Morrisette hit “You Oughta Know.” Tru immediately asks about the controversial song lyrics and wonders what the judges were thinking when they picked this for Haley. Of course she changes the "theater" line to something more family friendly. She does okay with the chorus but the verses are too low for her. She is not nearly angry enough at Dave Coulier or whoever. Am glad that she bravely took those stairs again, this time successfully. The judges go on and on forever about choruses.

Once again the judges are divided on who won this round. ST says Haley but Randy and Jen pick Lauren.

Quotes:

Ryan: Scotty - he’s got money and punctuation.

Lauren: I always put my hand on your shoulder. Ryan: That is why they hired me. I am here. I’m like a lean- to.

Steven: Did you fall for me?

Ryan: She looked up and said "somebody’s getting fired."

Randy: I would grow my hair out if I could have the whole wind thing.

Jimmy: I feel like Bruce Springsteen and Garth Brooks had a baby just now.

After the recap, I am convinced that tonight was the night that Haley decided to just go out there and give it her best, results be danged. While I am sure that the final two will consist of teenagers, I have to give my favorite jazzy bluesy gal props for three solid performances. Especially the first one – it rocked the house down. Am off to iTunes to download it right this minute. Because I am in it to win it! (Shut up, it rhymes.)

James Durbin – Making Metal Magic

2011-05-14T19:13:00.017-04:00

From his very first audition, when he sang an impromptu duet with Steven Tyler, James Durbin has given new meaning to the words “Dream On.”

James was diagnosed with both Asperger’s and Tourette’s at a young age and has faced many challenges. He was in Kids on Broadway Theater as a child which helped his social awkwardness, and with the loving support of his family, fiancée and friends, he has pursued a career in music. James has often talked about how his American Idol performances were inspired by Heidi and their son Hunter.

We learn more about James and his unique musical style from his exit interview. In regards to his departure, he says, “It’s been a whirlwind of emotions. I’ve been thinking about why I came on the show. I’m brought back to those feelings. It’s for my family – and to try and give a voice to a genre of music that is slowly fading away. I accomplished a lot on the show. I’m really grateful for the opportunity.”

The best piece of advice that he received: “Don’t hold back, just roll with it, keep giving it everything.” All of his performances were staged from his own ideas. “I wrote it, I drew out a story board for everything. Every performance had an idea. I just ran with it. I’m happy.”

In regards to coming in fourth place, James says that he doesn’t feel like he failed. “This is just the beginning.” He adds, “Getting to work is exciting. I’m really stoked.”

James ensures his fans that his first album will have a “real throwback feel.” He is determined to get metal music back on the charts. He is looking forward to working with artists like Mike Portney and Zakk Wylde.

The rocker is excited about the future. “I’ve only just begun. I feel I’ve been given something special and I’ve been given this great opportunity. To run with it and bring a voice to a new generation. Maybe it’s bringing a voice from an old generation to this generation. I hope I can bring a little bit of that into the picture.”

Read more about James on his official American Idol web page.

“It Ain’t Easy Walkin’ (Out) in Stilettos… But Somebody’s Gotta Do It”

2011-05-12T23:58:00.048-04:00

Ryan asks, “Who will become a hometown hero? And who will just be going home?”

72 million votes were cast last night. We saw – James was a singer in a smoky room who met a gypsy, Haley had her nose pressed to the window pane of the weeping shore, Scotty was not very political about yellow ribbons, and Lauren poured out an evil song she believed in.

There are approximately one hundred thousand guest stars tonight, plus results. So let’s get busy. First up, our own contestants perform duets.

James and Scotty sing some country song about being in a band. One of those cutely written ditties encouraging kids that they “don’t need no thought control.” Quit yer worrying about grades and school sports, just slash some Levis and learn “Free Bird.” The combo of long hair and a guitar will send the girls running to your van. Or mom’s new caddy, whichever.

Next is a shout-out about the Season 10 Idol tour that I will not be able to go to because I don’t like crowds. And poor James says that he got poked in the eye by his fiancée while singing earlier. I am sure the liberal Democrats will find some way to blame Scotty for this incident.

Lauren and Haley sing a duet, another country one. Something about packing up a shotgun to shoot some cheatin’ beatin’ SOB. Yeah, one of those tunes that makes all men look bad. It’s funny how Haley gets the “cigarettes and beer” lines instead of Lauren. Hot legs Haley is under 21 too, though. So far great messages to send to the under 13 crowd, American Idol.

The next segment is really just a Windows 7 commercial, which reminds me that I need to upgrade. They chat with their families via MSN or Skype or whatever. Seems like Idol could afford the umi telepresence for families but nooooo. Lauren chats with her Bieber-haired brother and her little doggies. Scotty talks to his cute sister. James connects with his fiancée and adorable little boy. Haley must not be as interesting because she only gets about five seconds of footage.

The Silver Stools of Doom have been spray-painted gold to become the Golden Seats of Success. First to get a spot in the safety zone is Lauren. I am glad they got that out of the way, lest she have a stroke while waiting.

Last night we watched Gaga rub her skank all over the final four contestants. We didn’t get to see them bathe in Lysol for hours afterward. However, we get to watch our singers while they watch her do a “live” performance in concert. She performs the song Haley did last week. You know the one that Randy said was so irrelevant. Maybe if Haley had stood up on a piano stool in a bikini and hooker boots she would have received better reviews. I can’t even blame this show, man. It’s this WORLD we live in.

When Gagme and her mustard-colored hair are finally finished, we move on the next musical guest star. Enrique Iglesias has a famous father, he is cute, and his girlfriend is that pretty blonde tennis player (Anna Somebody). Tonight he combines two recent songs into one and it’s hard to tell which one is less catchy. My Kid Tru says that he also has a song called “Tonight I’m F*ing You,” to which I say no way. She assures me that this is true; however there is a clean edit for the radio. Okay. I don’t get it. I am too old I guess.

Crazy Seacrest jumps after a big balloon from the pretend live Enrique performance. The Ford music video depicts the top four singers with fluorescent gel pens that glow in the dark. They sing “Fireflies” while drawing things in the air. It’s very low tech compared to some of the other vids they’ve done but it’s cute and fun. On the couch, Scotty and James each hold a balloon like it’s a big comfy pillow. This annoys Ryan because he has a show to emcee.

Adorable season six winner Jordin Sparks is back on the Idol stage. She was only 17 when she won, but she is a woman now of the ripe age of 21. She does a song called “I Am Woman” and it’s not the "hear me roar" anthem. This is more of a "hey I am wearing heels and a mini skirt, let’s kick some butt." Yeah! She Beyonces her way through the dance number and has lots of backup dancers to lean on. Jordin is svelte and sexy and out to prove it. Welcome to the slutting up of Idol's sweetheart, America. Sigh.

Now it’s time for the much hyped brand new music video from our very own judge Steven Tyler. I guess his fellow Aerosmith band members are still pissed at him and he has a solo career now. The video is a hodge-podge of circus acts, water sports, and that Pussycat Dolls gal. And a monkey! The song “It Feels So Good” is okay but I forgot it five seconds later.

More results action. Ryan surprises everyone in the entire universe when he reveals that there will be two females in the final three. Haley is safe! That leaves James and Scotty as the final two standing.

James stands there with a defeated look on his face because he knows that he is the one going home. This would have been a whole lot more dramatic if they had paired James with Haley. When James gets the news, he does the classic blowfish face that Chris Daughtry made infamous when he was shockingly booted in fourth place back in season five.

We see his montage and are reminded of Heidi and Hunter and Tourette's and autism. Scarf tails and rock horns and flaming pianos. Marching bands and metal guitarists. To his credit, James really did bring a lot to the Idol stage.

Poor Durbs is very disappointed but that does not stop him from bragging about how he has been the best thing on the show since sliced white bread. It’s exactly that kind of tooting his own horn that turned voters off James. He should have let his talent speak for itself because he has a lot of it.

James reminds us to please “give metal a chance,” and then his sing out is "Maybe I’m Amazed." Because nothing says head-banging like Wings. He sounds fantastic and really is a great showman. Jen’s in tears and in extreme close-up. Tru and I almost lose it ourselves when James gets a hug from Casey in the audience, then a kiss from Heidi.

Perhaps James will follow in Daughtry’s footsteps and form a rock band. He could get the name Durbin tattooed on his back. Hey, whatever works.

Quotes:

Lauren: Did you take my dogs and get them shaved?!

Scotty: I think that one month of piano lessons maybe paid off.

Ryan: Get rid of these things, we gotta get serious.

Next week the final three will get footage from their hometown visits. They will sing three songs each, chosen from various sources. I had already heard on the radio this morning that Scotty would be home this weekend, so that kinda spoiled results night for me. Probably for the Chattanooga and Chicago fans also. Oh well. Now it’s time to find out who gets killed off on Bones.

The Final Four Tell the World They’re Coming Home

2011-05-11T23:22:00.022-04:00

We start the show with the awesome Sklyar Grey’s verse of the P. Diddy Daddy Puff Whoever song. “Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday. I know my kingdom awaits, and they’ve forgiven my mistakes. I’m coming home…”

Footage from homecoming events from previous years is shown. We see lots of joyful tears and victorious cheers and triumphant shouts of “I am so happy to be here!” I have to admit that I am misty-eyed after watching this montage.

Then the judges arrive to break the spell. Oh Idol Trio, how I used to adore you. We started season ten on such a good note, full of hope and optimism. Now they are in a three-way tie for Most Annoying.

Dapper Ryan advises us that our remaining four contestants WANT it. They want it BAD. They are “in it to win it.” Take a drink.

When the four walk out, James almost trips over the train of Lauren’s mullet gown. Live television is so cool!

Tonight they will be performing two songs each. The first song will be Inspirational; maybe because we didn’t get Idol Gives Back this year. The second will be from the Lieber and Stoller catalog, to which everyone in the world except maybe three 100-year-olds go, who? Actually this theme was used back in the Carrie Underwood season. I wonder if one of this year’s girls will sing “Trouble” like Carrie did back then.

For the Songs that Inspire segments, the contestants will explain what their song means to them. For the Lieber/Stoller part, the guest mentor will be Lady Gaga. That is a really odd combo - like putting gummy worms on a hamburger. This SHOW sometimes.

First up is James who is doing “Don’t Stop Believing” by Glee. Actually it is really by Journey, a band that Randy knows well. He played bass or something. My liking of Durbs has flip-flopped back and forth all season. While I admire that he has overcome many ailments, that doesn’t account for how over-confident he has become. He is NOT a Steven Tyler yet so he shouldn’t act like one. As Tru says, he’s not even a Gavin Degraw, so he needs to dial it down. James and the judges all think that Durbs sang better than he really did. Once again they are confusing showmanship and pyrotechnics with vocal ability, and once again they are already getting on my nerves. They like his Journey tee-shirt, tuxedo jacket and swagger. James pretends that he received negative feedback last week. You didn’t Durbin. WTH Ryan?

The Design a Coke Cup is hawked next. And a reminder to buy Steven’s autobiography. So what and yeah right to those things, respectively.

Next up is everyone’s favorite punching bag, Haley. She is going to sing a track by Michael Jackson called “Earth Song.” I don’t think I’ve heard this one. Did MJ do obscure? The song is okay, it’s all about war and going green and children in pain. Haley is very passionate about the message of the song but it’s so depressing. Two out of three judges (of course) give her a beat down to the likes of: Why did you choose that stupid song? Just because you like it doesn't mean it’s current. You got to be popular. Did you not watch The Hills? You got to be IN. Haley gives them “cut a bitch” face, and finally Steven jumps in to tell them all to stop arguing. He thought Haley was great. Beautiful even. I feel bad for Haley, but she needs to learn to just be quiet. Voters don’t like it when contestants talk back, even when the judges are all kinds of dense.

Remember Taio Cruz, with the songwriting contest? No? Me neither. Evidently it’s still a thing that is happening.

Scotty is up next, and he gets a chat stool with Ryan. He is doing the Alan Jackson song about 9/11. (Which leads me to a rant – it bugs me when people refer to September 11^th as Nine One One. It’s Nine Eleven. The other is the emergency phone line. Get it right!) Anyway. This song is going to make me cry buckets. Tru says that the timing of this seems well planned given the recent deadness of Osama. (To keep from falling into total despair, Tru and I do our favorite Achmed lines. “Silence! I keel you!”) With his guitar, Scotty croons about talking to God and singing simple songs, and he does justice to the country hit. If you are patriotic, you will vote for Scotty. Kind of like when Kristy Lee did the USA song that time. The judges adore McCreery. Jen even expresses her undying love, in a way that is not as creepy as it sounds.

Casey and Paul are in the audience and help Ryan announce the upcoming Idol tour. We miss Casey’s humor and Paul’s smile. (Dear casting agents for The Hangover Part 3: call them both!)

Of course Lauren is doing the Martina song “Anyway.” This song means a lot to her because it’s about tornados and rebuilding your life. We can’t help but think that she is adorable in the way that sheltered youngsters are sometimes. Her rendition is in between the one that Ms. McBride herself did on the Idol stage a few years ago, and the one that Kristy Lee Cook did back in her day. (It is odd that there are two KLC references in one night. But there you are.) Lauren looks pretty in her short front/long back saloon girl gown. Will the heathen voters take offense with all the Jesus and God songs this episode? Guess what? We don’t care! Once again Randy yells at Lauren that she is BACK. Where did she go? Other than to the salon to get those lowlights, she hasn’t really left. We agree with ST that the shoes are fabulous.

Ryan brings the final four back to the stage to get another run down on who did the best. This was a set up for Haley to get the snot beat out of her again. She gives them stank eye. She’s the American Idol version of “Honey Badger Don’t Care.”

Clear the room of all the kiddies everybody… because here comes Lady Gaga. She forgot her pants but remembered to put her eye makeup all over her face. I can’t even…. so I won’t. Okay I will - the chick is gross ON PURPOSE! Lest we forget though, she can’t help herself. Because she was “born this way, baby.” (“Express yourself, hey hey hey hey.”)

The set up is as follows – each contestant will practice in a stark white room with Jimmy and Gaga. Why there, we don’t know. Perhaps they didn’t want to have to fumigate the studio later.

Haley has already had a Gaga experience with the “You and I” song, and it was not a good one according to the judges. I happen to like Haley’s iTunes version of that song, RANDY. When Gaga calls Haley a “little pony,” is she making fun of her hair? She tells her to go psycho on the “I Who Have Nothing” song. Little Jordin Sparks owned this classic back in her good day, so here’s hoping that Haley puts a different spin on it. And holy heavens, she does. She is every level of awesome that exists. When she sings, she conjures images of boiled bunnies and roller coasters. The judges give her a standing ovation because they are afraid for their lives now. I’m standing up and I am at home where she can’t see me! Can’t wait to download this. Ryan enforces a round of hugs for everyone, but Haley is as over this Trio as we are.

Gaga is so gross with Scotty in the white room that he has to do Hail Marys. Or at least kiss his cross necklace. That boy is not going to give in to this Hollywood crap, but he won’t complain about it either. He’s a good kid. On stage he's doing his very best “drunk best man at the wedding” rendition of “Young Blood.” Yikes it’s corny. The thing with Scotty is that he is consistently fine vocal wise. It’s the crazy eyes, hand-waving, sideways-mic-holding that get in the way of fully enjoying his performance. As Tru says, he is basically doing all of the things that Casey and Haley get yelled at for, but he gets praised. This is one of the reasons that there’s lot of McCreery hatin’ going on right now. Plus he is very outspoken about his faith, which is the main reason we adore the guy. Judges love Scotty’s “ya ya go la la” via Pat Boone.

Lauren gets a sit-down with Ryan. She will be the one to do the Carrie version of the tune that Elvis made famous called “Trouble.” She has issues with calling herself "evil" though; Gaga makes fun of her. Tru and I are reminded of a Willow quote about Buffy: “Sweet girl. Not that bright.” (This Gagme person would have made a great villain on that very awesome show.) Anyway. On stage Lauren really isn’t believable when she says she’s "evil." Neither was Carrie when she did it, and nor was lovable Elliot Yamin when he sang this song during his season. I can’t help but think that Lauren and Haley should have switched songs tonight, heh. We like both of the girls that are left in the running; the judges however only like Lauren. I think this is because of Nigel and his prediction way back when, of Lauren being The One.

One of the songwriters is in the audience, and he says that he is enjoying the performances tonight. Just once I want one of these celebrities to stand up and say - you know what dawg? That wasn’t even close to beautiful. They are not in it to win it.

The last performance tonight is James, and he will be doing “Love Potion Number 9.” This is not the bad early 90s movie starring a young starlet named Sandra Bullock. It’s one of those campy songs that make no sense. Tru says why not just do “Witch Doctor” (oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang) or one eyed one horned flying “Purple People Eater.” Very simply, it’s because they were not written by the Lieber/Stoller duo, so there. To his credit, James sings the heck out of the song and gives it his very all. And his all equals lots of shenanigans. He ends his performance in full rocker mode. It’s okay when he is cocky on stage, just not off stage. The judges are all over the Durbs, much like Gaga was while in the white room with him. The poor guy looked like he was going to hurl. James needs a Purell bath, stat.

Recap time of the final four and then Ryan reminds us to vote vote vote. This is the week that Chris Daughtry went home. Thanks for that memory, Seacrest.

Quotes:

Steven: You deliver notes like a blue plate special.

Steven: You just Reinharted your way into next week.

Ryan: I hear the girls screaming all day long.

Scotty: I’d kiss the grass, first thing I’d do.

Haley: I never thought I’d get emo on this show but…

Ryan: Shhhh Randy, calm down.

Randy: I’m scared.

Scotty: I better have a good-looking microphone.

Ryan: Thank you very much for that activity.

Tomorrow night we will learn which of these two evils is the lesser one – mouthing off at the judges or being a rocker biggity britches. Scotty and Lauren sang about America and God, so they will both be safe this week, I predict. We will see lots of guest stars on tomorrow’s results show, including season six winner Jordin Sparks. Tell the world she’s coming home. We will leave the light on.

Jacob Lusk – A Big Hearted Diva

2011-05-06T22:33:00.005-04:00

American Idol introduced us to soulful Jacob Lusk during the Hollywood group rounds, when he did an incredible run at the end of “Get Ready.” Our first thought was “where have they been hiding this guy?”

With his unbelievable range and joyful spirit, Jacob brought a gospel-tinged element to every song he performed on the show this year.

We learn more about “Brother Lusk” during his exit interview. Jacob says that he wanted to do different things and please the Idol fans week after week. “I’m going to give it my all, I’m not going to hold anything back. And that’s what I did.”

In regards to the infamous “Man in the Mirror” comment, Jacob claims that he was misunderstood. “That was really more about my song selection and what was going on in the world at that time.” He adds, “It was kind of sensationalized a little bit… a whole lot.”

He describes himself as the “R&B crooner, soulful gospel guy.” Like a lot of artists of his genre, he got his start at singing in church. “You can’t take gospel singing out of a person.”

In spite of the criticism he has received from the show runners, especially Jimmy Iovine, he promises to put out the kind of music that his fans will like and have come to expect from him.

Jacob describes how he was teased while in school and had moments when he felt like giving up. He knew the tides were turning when he performed “God Bless the Child” to great praise. “I didn’t want to wonder where I was going to live or if I was going to have money to pay rent, and now I don’t have to worry about that ever again.”

He is proud to have made it to the top five and feels that the remaining contestants are all talented performers. “I want to say thank you to everyone who supported me. I don’t take any of it for granted.”

Learn more about Jacob on his official American Idol web page.

Someone’s Dreams Will Be Left “On the Floor”

2011-05-05T23:18:00.010-04:00

In stark black and white, we are reminded that NOW IS THE TIME. The final five did a mixture of contemporary and classic, a.k.a. “now and then.”

Last night, James was closer to the edge without you, Jacob learned that love hurts with no air, Lauren laid an unchained melody flat on the floor, Scotty was always gone in his mind, Haley took you and I to the house of the rising sun.

The judges get to make their big arrivals. Ho hum. Still annoyed at how they dissed Haley six ways from Sunday for no good reason.

Ryan says that 60 million votes came in to whittle our way to the final four. Full of innuendos, he plugs Steven Tyler’s new autobiography. He also reminds us that J.Lo will be pretending to be doing a live show tonight when we all know that shizz is pre-recorded. Poor Randy and his teal jacket have nothing to promote.

Group performance is to the Turtles “Happy Together.” They are a hot crazy mess. David Cook did a fine version of this back in his very good day, so let’s go listen to that one instead, shall we? Or the “I like turtles” boy on YouTube. Anything but our top five when they are this howling-dog bad.

Ryan is plugging season 11 already. “Take one day to change your life.” Okay I will get right on that. For the Ford music video, they sing “Be Yourself,” and the five do magic tricks. The coolest is when Haley parks a car with the power of her mind. Hey, we saw Brennan do this for real on Bones last week.

For a tasteless time waster, they have brought in that horrible cooking show guy. Apparently, the British terror has a zillion shows on Fox. The singers are cooking omelets which don’t look appetizing at all. Lauren explains that her omelet has eggs in it. (Hello Kellie how we’ve missed you. Not.) By the end of part one of this segment, only Lauren and Jacob have created edible eggs.

Next up is Grammy-winning group Lady Antebellum who perform their brand new song “Just a Kiss.” The lead gal is brunette now and looks totally different than in the “Need You Now” video. Tru says the lead guy is hot; he looks like Ryan Gosling. The poor piano player guy is like the Randy of this trio - just kinda there, nobody really cares. The song is okay; if you like country-pop, it’s probably awesome. They will sell a crazillion copies by tomorrow morning, hence the reason for making this appearance.

Usually I enjoy the interviews with the contestants because it gives us an opportunity to learn more about them. This next segment is not even subtly disguised as a bing commercial. Don’t they use this same ploy on The Soup? Sorry bing, but you are no google. At least the segment is amusing as we see them drawing names of songs out of hats and then wearing those hats. They exchange other crazy articles of clothing and blame the stylists for everything that looks bad.

Finally, some results time. James is up first. Like last week, Jimmy gets to have his say. He gives Durbin an 8 because he didn’t keep his tears in control. As always when it’s five people, Ryan starts two groups; James is the beginning of the first one.

Complete with weird unplanned sound effects, Lauren stands next. Jimmy criticizes her for holding back on the high note and not going all unchained. Such a douche for saying that. Lauren and her very pretty up-do start the second group on the stage.

We are back with more of that silly British cooking guy and his shenanigans with the final five. Jacob and Lauren have to do a blindfolded taste test and it’s just stupid. Didn’t Pickler do this back in her day? What the heck is tofu made of anyway? Oh yeah, hot dogs. Lauren wins the cooking challenge. Score one for southern girls.

Now we get to pretend along with Ryan and everyone else that our very own La Lopez is going to be performing live in front of our eyes. It’s so silly to keep up this pretense when there are at least a thousand bloggers who do “behind the scenes” recaps of what it’s like in the Idoldome. We are expected to play along. So okay, it’s live, y’all. Grab some popcorn like Ryan and the guys.

Jen and eleventy hundred backup dancers writhe and jiggle to “On the Floor.” That bald Pitbull guy is there too. This song is a bonafide hit. “Thank you American Idol,” says Jennifer’s singing career. As silly dance ditties go, it’s … well still terrible. Jen is very pretty though. People magazine agrees.

More results… Jacob caterwauled his way through both his Now and Then; Jimmy was not amused. Jacob joins Lauren, and she immediately gets nervous.

Haley is next and gets slapped around again about the Gaga song. Jimmy was pissed that the judges beat her down over his idea. Good going Iovine! He gives her a 10 and reminds us that she won the night. Haley joins James on the stage.

Scotty is the last one to stand up. Last night he was fast then slow and Jimmy likes him. Ryan admits that last week he was NOT in the bottom two. (Called that!) Five bucks says that Ryan will ask him to choose which group, and ten bucks says that Scotty will refuse. I win and I win. Seacrest pushes him to the James and Haley side; these three are safe.

This leaves a sobbing Lauren and subdued Jacob as the bottom two. Bejeez, that was probably a long awkward commercial break for these two. Kieran dims the lights. Jacob is the one going home and Lauren gets a big hug from Scotty.

Jacob reminds everyone that he is the Baby Luther in a lavender shirt. He appeals to everyone, he says. As David Cook sings, we see his montage of “divine intervention” and gospel-tinged excitement. Since it’s his swan song, he doesn’t have to hold back anymore, so he pulls out the Lusky Stank on “A House is Not a Home.” The other four hug him and he just keeps going. He’s like the Energizer bunny and Will. Not. Stop. Hollering.

Quotes:

Scotty: I love Jesus!

Ryan: Is there any area that you haven’t touched?

Haley: “Thong Song.”

Lauren: Our stylist wants to kill me. Big time!

So we are down to two country teenagers, a rocker, and a bluesy chick. As much as I have grown to like Haley, I predict the final three will be Scotty, James and Lauren, with the boys being the top two. But I have been wrong before. Or as my kid says every single time. Truth!

Go ‘Round Now and Back Yonder Again with the Top 5

2011-05-04T23:55:00.011-04:00

There is no Casey here. Our favorite season 10 Idol performer is gone. Sniff. Am trying to stay interested though, because we are in this thing for the long haul. Haven’t invested 16 weeks for nada! Plus I’d like to see what happens to my second favorite, Haley.

My Kid Tru reminds me that SHE liked Haley first, back when I was complaining about her being a Kristy Lee/Scarnato 2.0 contestant. Well, Miss Reinhart proved me very wrong and I look forward to hearing her tonight.

When we open, the singers are already on the stage and the judges are at the table. What was up with that? To save time, I guess. Steven shouts out “Hi Dad” – bejeez, he must be 1000. Jen has “mom hair” and a flower growing out of it. Randy’s there, I think?

Grinning Ryan says that tonight is a very important night. He asks Randy to explain. Oh good, there he is. Whew. Mr. Jackson and his medallion from the Mr. T collection prove they are still relevant by explaining a new drinking game. Every time he says “in it to win it,” take a drink.

The theme tonight is the very broad “Now and Then.” Just like it sounds, the contestants will perform a current song and also one from a few decades ago. In other words: stuff I’ve not heard and stuff I’ve heard a million times.

Jimmy needs assistance in the studio to help mentor the kids. This week it’s none other than former Idol basher Sheryl Crow. I have no hateration towards the lovely Grammy-winning singer-songwriter, but she had some really harsh things to say about the show a few years ago. Perceptions change though. Or perhaps there are bills to pay.

At any rate, there are many songs from Sheryl that I enjoy and will be humming along to them (if only in my mind) as we progress through the evening. Heck, we’ll even make it a different game. Name the Song to Match the Sheryl Crow Lyric. Let’s go…

“And I’m calling Buddy on the Ouija board.”

First up is James and he has a very special song in mind. It’s called “Closer to the Edge” by 30 Seconds to Mars, to which both My Kid Tru and I say who? It’s puzzling that even she doesn’t know, because she is my encyclopedia of knowledge when it comes to music. Wikipedia says that this band is fronted by that actor who played in the show with Claire Danes – you know the one – My So-Called Life. Tru says no, this was before her birth or thereabouts. All of this research is necessary to distract us from the very awful noises coming from the Durbs. He is not sounding on key at all and I am disturbed for him and his lopsided hairdo. He sounded a lot better in the studio singing with Sheryl. Oddly, the judges love it and his showmanship. That must have sounded different in the Idoldome. Ryan uses the British slang “Full Monty” phrase in a way that we yanks will misinterpret. Ah, Seacrest.

“Found Geronimo’s rifle, Marilyn’s shampoo, and Benny Goodman’s corset and pen.”

Next up is Jacob who gets a chat stool sit down with Ryan. Our Brother Lusk talks about being an underdog which hello, that would be Haley, but thanks. For his “now” song, Jacob is going to sing both parts of the Jordin Sparks song “No Air.” The one she did with that beater guy before it was public that he was a beating beater who beats. Anyway. Jacob is thrilled that the original writer will be working with him but it doesn’t really help. He is one wholly (not holy) mess on this ditty from the season six Idol winner. The jacket from the Carlton Banks of Bel Air Collection is an eyesore as well as his gross thrusty dance moves. But wait! The judges think he is awesome! What are they smoking? Jen and Randy almost come to blows; she needs to STHU and let him get a sentence out. We might get to take another drink which we need right now.

“I’ve never been there but the brochure looks nice.”

Of course Lauren is doing a Carrie Underwood song. Of course she is. Carrie is very “now” and another previous Idol winner, so they must have their own theme going. It used to bother me when current contestants covered songs made famous by past winners, but it happens so often that I am used to it by now. I haven’t heard this one, called “Flat on the Floor.” Sheryl and Jimmy try to encourage her to just shut up and sing so she won’t run out of breath. Little Lauren sings the heck out of the season four winner’s ditty, that is for sure. She can’t help but move around though; she’s a natural performer. Not sure about the outfit though, so naturally Tru likes it. The cute fiddle player is back. The judges think Lauren did great and this is the direction that she should take when she either A) wins or B) becomes a runner up. Either way, I don’t think this gal is going to fade into oblivion.

“I don’t have digital. I don’t have diddly squat.”

Before his performance, poor Scotty is made to stand in the audience with some 'tweeners. He seems like such a great kid. Back in the days when I listened to country, I would have known this duo called Montgomery Gentry. Scotty is doing their song called “Gone.” Sheryl and Jimmy think it will be unlike anything he has done before, to which we say pfffft. Scotty gets the blonde fembots doing backup, and he proves that he is not a high school athlete for nothing. He can jump like an Olympic pole vaulter. The judges are over the moon for the crazy-eyed teenager. Jen is jumping up and down. ST likes that Scotty was “dancing with the devil,” but Randy’s not so sure. The country ditty sounds like one of those 60 MPH tunes that are trolled out at karaoke parties all the time. Not saying the “K word” applies to Scotty, because that would be as sacrilegious as Lady Gaga’s latest music video.

“Fueling up on heartaches and cheap wine.”

Speaking of Gaga and sacrilege… Haley is doing an unreleased Gagme song. Gasp! She explains this for a million years while on the chat stools with Ryan. I don’t recall anyone ever doing this on the show before. That must be the point. The show runners DO NOT want Haley to win. Why, we don’t know. But this is BS. Haley sounds great on this song heard only by those unwashed masses who have attended Gaga’s concerts. (Can you imagine Gagme live? I bet it smells bad. Meat dresses and whatnot. Blech.) Tonight we have no basis of comparison, but Haley’s great and the judges are full of assery. They are so lame to blame Haley for doing a song that she was pretty much force fed. Haley already explained that she even had the G’s blessing so she is over them. I don’t blame her! They give her a beat down on doing an obscure song, when earlier they praised James for doing the same thing.

“I have a face I cannot show. I make the rules up as I go.”

So we are finished with the fun-filled songs of Today. Now we go back to the era before auto-tuning and eating bats, to another generation. James will be doing one of my favorite Heart songs – “Without You.” Yes I realize that Heart was not the originator, but they do my favorite version. James is no Ann Wilson; heck he is not even a Carly Smithson. I think I will go to YouTube and watch her take on this instead. We are over James being the token cry baby, and so are Sheryl and Jimmy in the studio. I want to like him because he has a good voice, but he is buying too much of his own hype. Although I respect that he misses his fiancée and little boy, this is the price you pay for fame. At least he is mostly in tune on this one, unlike the Jared Leto song earlier. The judges … I just don’t care anymore what they think. Everybody seems to love tears, but Durbs needs to save them for the finale.

“I woke up and called this morning. The tone of your voice was a warning, that you don’t care for me anymore.”

Church-going Jacob is not thrilled at doing a rock song. No siree! Who is this Nazareth that Jimmy is trying to sell to him? Tru is so irritated that the Lusky Stank has outlasted so many others that we like better that she won’t even stay in the room during his performance. We need some Orville popped anyway, so now is a good time. In the studio, they talk him into doing “Love Hurts” and it starts out okay. Sheryl did some good coaching there. But then on stage he stirs the pot, kicks it over, does Hail Marys on it and there is just holleration up in the Idoldome. My puppy is in front of the television, growling like there is something wrong. The worthless trio are all over that shizz. Randy and Jacob are wearing the same jacket. Jackson compares Lusk's high note to Mariah Carey, maybe because that was the sound she made recently while giving birth to twins?

“You gotta talk to the One who made you.”

Even though she has already sung this song on the show 14 times, Lauren is doing “Unchained Melody” for her “then” selection. It’s the song of her parents and Ghost, that’s why. So don’t question it! It is also another one of my favorite Heart remakes. Jimmy is still concerned that she is going to hold back on the highest of high notes. Lauren is pretty and is wearing a prom dress from the 70s, and her voice is lovely. While the teenage country crooner is not my favorite singer this year, I like her rendition of this song. Lauren has grown a lot during this competition, from the flip-flop shod 15-year-old that we saw in the Nashville audition to the polished performer today. She is still too immature emotionally to handle the stress of the music business though. The judges don’t have anything to say because they have poured all of their comments into singers less engaging than Lauren. Asshats. Seriously?

“This ain’t no disco. This ain’t no country club either. This is LA!”

Our hometown boy Scotty is going to slow things down with the Elvis tune “Always on My Mind.” Or was it Willie Nelson? Who knows, it’s been covered at least eighty katrillion times. Wikipedia says that the original recording was by Brenda Lee. Tru says that she likes the way Fantasia did it back in her day on American Idol. All of Tru’s friends are rooting for the local teenager. Yesterday while in Garner, we rode by a KFC that had on their billboard “Scotty McCreery is soooo good.” I remind Tru that if he makes top three, then he will get to come back here for a hometown visit. (I might take a vacation day so we can go!) Tonight Scotty is cute and sweet and boring enough to grant us a short nap. When we wake up we learn that he sang it well. Judges love him. Whatever. Ryan introduces Scotty’s grandma in the audience, the one who is Puerto Rican. She is adorable as grandmas usually are.

“Now I’m reading romance novels and I’m dreaming of yesterday.”

So far this evening Haley is the only person to really get put down by the judges. She got a beating for doing that great unknown Gaga song, but she is back and she is going to kick some butt on her “then” performance. She’s doing the old song about a brothel called “House of the Rising Sun.” Jimmy and Sheryl both believe that she is going to have a moment with this one. But you know what. Haley don’t care anymore. YOU GO GIRL! She is awesome and completely proves that she deserves to be on that stage. I will be downloading the iTunes version of this before the credits roll. As the judges compliment her in a thousand different ways, she just flips her hair and smiles fakely at them. I don’t blame her at all. Unfortunately, America won’t vote for contestants who show even the slightest bit of attitude but even if this is her last night, she owned it.

Quotes:

Steven: You kicked that song’s ass.

Ryan: And that concludes this episode of Battle of the Network Stars.

Jennifer: I don’t know if you came out a little angry at us from before…

Recap time proves that the last song from Haley did indeed rule the night. We shall see tomorrow. Judges, not so much. I am annoyed at the ghastly trio right now but am not completely ready to write them off yet. Guest stars on the results show will be country group Lady Antebellum and our very own “Venus goddess” J.Lo. As Steven Tyler said one thousand times tonight, “That’s a beautiful thing.”

Casey Abrams – Bass-Playing Lovable “Lumberjack”

2011-04-29T21:29:00.000-04:00

We could tell from his audition in Austin that Casey Abrams was going to be a contender. With melodica in hand, he led the judges on a Pied Piper-type dance along. Throughout Hollywood week, he continued to impress with his unique musicianship. He was the first contestant to perform with an upright bass. His rendition of “Why Can’t You Do Right” will go down in Idol history as a classic moment of excellence.

After making it into the Top 24, Casey was clearly a front runner and a judge favorite. Always a showman, he demonstrated every style of music from jazz to alternative rock. Even a couple of trips to the ER for a bleeding ulcer didn’t slow Casey down.

When he was voted off back during Top 11, he received the one Judge Save of the year. This was a controversial move on the part of the show, but they knew that the Idol tour would not be the same without the entertaining Jazz Man.

We hear more from Casey during his exit interview. The number one question on the reporters’ list - "Are you in a romance with Haley?" Casey says, “No … she is a very special musical friend and that’s all.”

He is feeling good about his departure and is glad that his swan song was so well received. He says “Sometimes the best performances in jazz when you improvise and play a different solo each time is the best feeling in the world.”

Casey credits the Idyllwild Arts Academy for his jazz roots. Besides upright and electric bass, he also plays guitar, piano, drums, accordion, and clarinet. His favorite instrument is cello.

He says that a Casey Abrams concert would be “pure craziness.” He would “rock hard and have some fun” and “have more instruments that you’d expect.” His confidence as a performer on stage has improved since he has been on the show.

Casey explains that he is a happy person who laughs all the time; the angry growling was just a stage persona. He says, “Don’t take yourself too seriously. Take music seriously but not yourself.”

Learn more about Casey on his official American Idol web page.

Who is “Riding with the Radio” No More?

2011-04-28T23:03:00.037-04:00

“No matter how much we love them, one of them must head home,” to paraphrase Ryan. He still seems to be highly caffeinated. Perhaps he is newly in love or something. That girl from the dancing show maybe?

Last night - Jacob didn’t believe a single word was true, Lauren would go to the ends of the earth, Scotty will come running to see you again, James gives you love so sweetly, Casey is gonna find some of that old sweet roll, Haley gets up in the morning with a smile on her face.

The judges arrive and for the love of Miss Kitty, Steven is sporting a cowboy hat. Jen is pretty in red and Randy has some kind of red block on his tee shirt. Why do I notice what the judges wear each night? Because they WANT us to. And since Ryan is always in a boring business suit, we have to notice someone, right?

Ryan warns us that we should expect to be disappointed tonight. Which means that Brother Lusk is not going anywhere. SIGH. “Every corner of the country has a contestant that they love.” The six are sent to the couches for now.

Our host teases Steven about being on the cover of both Rolling Stone and People magazines. Not as “most beautiful woman in the world” but as “bad boy gone sweetheart.” Steven is enjoying being relatively relevant again. Randy just basks in the glow, glad to be in the presence. (Yeah right. He is so seething inside.)

Bruno Mars and Crystal Bowersox will be on the show tonight. Seacrest makes a Charlie Sheen reference. (Dear Whoever-writes-Ryan’s-jokes: You are several weeks too late, dude. That ship has sailed on Good Ship Goddesses. Your friend, Aunt Pearl.)

This somehow segues to a Royal Wedding party that the top 6 attended at the British Consulate. I have a good friend from England that I love dearly, and she is excited about the upcoming nuptials of William and Kate. It’s not my cup of tea, so to speak. Our contestants pretend to have a good time, and none of them have good fake British accents. Meryl Streep, your career is safe.

Now it’s time for the Six to do a medley of Carole King songs. It’s one part awesome/three parts awkward as six strong voices try to compete with each other. From “Take Good Care of My Baby” to “It’s Too Late,” no harmony is left unmaimed. And poor Scotty sits amidst a gaggle of twelve-year-olds to croon “Go Away Little Girl.” Escape McCreery! Run from the tweeners! I do so much love these group numbers; they are so wonderfully cheesy.

Back to the couches for an iTunes shout out. Lauren and Haley both have awesome shoes. This week’s Ford video is set to the song “Our House” and they borrow the A-Ha concept of drawing things that then come true. They sketch objects in a room that materialize and of course a garage for the Fords.

Season nine runner up Crystal Bowersox sings her new single “Riding with the Radio.” There is some cool harmonica and slide guitar action. “Whatever became of good old rock and roll?” the song asks. So much agreement! I didn’t watch the show last year but have seen a couple of her videos, and I like her singing style a lot. Girls with guitars who really sing with real voices and not auto-tuned crap. And wow she is wearing actual clothes and not a costume. That is so rare. This is a really good song that I will be downloading before the night is over. “If you want to sing a song just sing it,” Crystal croons as she glances to the kids on the couch. Awesome!

Next it’s time to ask contestants questions that have been submitted by fans. A blue screen has scrolling text on it and technology is cool.

Who would Casey like to do a duet with? He says Oscar Peterson and three people in the audience (plus Randy) pretend to know who he is. Something jazz.

How did Jacob find out that he had such an incredible range to his voice? Why at choir practice. Duh y’all. Recognize!

What is the hardest thing for Lauren as an Idol finalist? Missing friends and family and worrying about them when tornados hit. She was sincere and articulate. Thank you Lauren.

Did Scotty the Body (please stop that Ryan) ever have a job before Idol? Yes, he worked in a grocery store (Lowes Foods), and also at his mom’s tanning salon, to his embarrassment.

Did James play with a band pre-Idol? Yes and TMZ already knew this and other fun facts about him. I loathe them and only learn about stuff by accident. Honest!

Who is Haley’s favorite past Idol contestant? Glambert, Kelly, Lee from her hometown, and Crystal because she’s here tonight.

Time for results; Ryan will call them out in random order. Haley is called to center stage first. We hear a snippet of her performance and Steven “seeing God.” Then Jimmy chimes in that Haley doesn’t know who she is as an artist. This ticks her off so she gets a bleep and a scolding from Ryan. Haley tries to explain who she is and how it all fits in with these darn themes. Randy says he knows. Kudos to Haley for standing her ground; too bad viewers don’t normally like candor! Fortunately Haley is safe this week.

Next up is Scotty and we are reminded of storytelling strengths and getting out of the country zone. Jimmy compares him to Johnny Cash but is worried that his subtlety will get lost. 15 million tweeners disagree. Scotty doesn’t get a bleep though; he is a church-going boy. Ryan plays a trick - he doesn’t tell Scotty that he was bottom 3, only to hold on for a little while.

Lauren is brought up next. Last night she sang to a random boy and a couple of fake blonde fembots. She went hard for it and everyone was proud of her voice cracking. Jimmy says Lauren needs to stop focusing on the negative and that she is here for the long run. Lauren promises that she is grateful to be there. She is also told to take a seat; she is not told safe OR bottom three. This is odd.

Last night Casey “met the devil and he was mighty slick.” So was that fedora he tossed to the audience. It was exciting and entertaining for the mother-loving sake of jazz. Jimmy predicts that Casey will go on to be a great singer songwriter but criticizes the showman’s need to growl all the time. I completely concur with Jimmy. Casey says it’s his pent up aggression and passion for music; he just can’t help it. Ryan will get to his result later. Goodness. So much tension in the Idoldome.

James is on stage next and do we love him tomorrow? Steven thinks so and reminisced about his younger wilder days. James has been consistently strong every week. Jimmy says that James is not believable on the metal tunes but could win the crown with the right songs. James is safe.

“Oh no not my baby” Jacob is next to (maybe) learn his fate. He shook his tail feathers and brought out an imperfect boogie. Jimmy thinks his crazy outfit looked like something from that dancing show, and he is on banana peel status.

Ryan tells Jacob to stay put and brings back Scotty, Lauren, and Casey. Lauren is safe. At no time has Ryan mentioned the bottom three. The internet polls have predicted a 75% chance that Jacob is the one going home, but I will not be surprised if Casey’s number is up.

Bruno Mars is up next; this is a pre-recorded performance. Right off the bat, I am not impressed because wearing sunglasses inside is never cool unless you are blind. Is Bruno blind? Must google; no he is not. So shades off indoors, dude. Good, he takes them off, so I can enjoy the performance now. My Kid Tru says that his ditty is called “The Lazy Song.” There are no grenades involved with this one though.

Back to the stage, and Ryan reminds us that results are in random order tonight. Does that mean that this is not the official bottom three? Are shenanigans afoot, Uncle Nigel? Jacob is safe and no one is more surprised than Brother Lusk. This leaves Scotty and Casey, hello - a no brainer. Casey is already nodding because he knows he’s gone.

His montage reminds us of the melodica-playing contestant who was compared to Fraggle Rock. So many shots of those orange plaid shorts; they must be his security blanket. Casey talks about bringing jazz back, and I know he has made me a fan of the genre. “Don’t you forget about me,” David Cook sings. “We are watching someone important.” Reminder of the judges' save and his path to redemption. “The dream gets bigger.” We will miss the eccentric weird beard with the upright bass. We will miss you, Casey Abrams.

Casey’s sing out is “I Put a Spell on You,” and he now has the right to go forward with every trick in the book. Growling, crazy faces, hugs and kisses to everyone in the audience except his mom. (That would be too hard though, and he has to hold it together. He can’t even look at her.) When he rolls back on to the stage he sings the last line “you are mine” right to Haley. Wow. That was epic.

Quotes:

Steven: I may be good but when I’m bad I’m even better.

Ryan: No Taylor Hicks?

Jimmy: Casey has got to realize that the family dog does not vote on this show.

It’s a bummer that Lusky Stank outlasted our lovable lumberjack. I will be casting my votes to Haley from now on and not because of their alleged connection. She has really blossomed as an artist right before our eyes.

Am off to iTunes to download everything I can find from Mamasox. Don’t forget the Royal Wedding tomorrow. Ta. Cheerio. Pip pip. Tally ho. (Or as we say here in the southern part of the USA, “bye y’all.”)

The Beautiful Top 6 Feel the Earth Move into Something Good

2011-04-27T23:39:00.033-04:00

Ryan starts the show with math, which is always fun: 125,000 minus 6 equals a lot of folks who are watching from home saying “this coulda been me.”

Have you ever noticed that there is enough time to fold an entire load of laundry during the pause between “THIS” and “is American Idol?”

When we see the judges arrive, it appears that everyone has plans after the show. Jen is going ice skating, Steven is appearing at Studio 54, and Randy is attending a Laverne and Shirley reunion.

Ryan has had too much Starbucks. Good Lord. He reminds us that it’s less than a month to the finale; wow, time has gone by so fast.

Tonight the contestants will perform tunes from the songbook of legendary Carole King. She has had over a hundred songs on the Billboard charts over the past 50 years. Although most of her songs were made famous by other artists, her own album Tapestry was on the charts for six years.

Ryan pretends that he didn’t just introduce the remaining Idols five minutes ago and makes a production of unveiling them again. Decaf Seacrest. Decaf.

Because Jimmy Iovine is way too insufferable when he is in the studio alone, this week they brought in another partner. Supposedly, will.was.not.available so they scooped up Babyface. He has a real name and some real credentials, but I'm not really into this tunesmith. He’s worked with various artists including Carole King, and he is still very pretty in the (baby) face. Hopefully he will bring some good advice to the kids.

First up, it’s the long lost son of Fred G. Sanford and the G stands for garish. (My hubby and I still watch that show on TV Land, and it’s still as funny as ever.) Heavens, what kind of outfit is Jacob blinding us with? In the studio he practices “Oh No Not My Baby” literally 65 times. Jimmy reminds us that the over-the-top BS that Jacob "Rupauls" to us every week needs to be dialed down and Babyface agrees. They want him to just sing, RANDY! He does and I guess it’s okay (for him) but his bright yellow shoes that match his bright yellow shirt distract us from the caterwauling. Steven likes the strutting; Jen didn’t mind the spaces where it wasn’t perfect; Randy contradicts everything he has told Brother Lusk thus far. Ryan tries to fix the crooked bowtie but it’s a lost cause. Much like my faith in this show sometimes. Jacob is proud of himself, much like Lamont when he bought Fred the new color TV with remote control. Please Jacob, while you’re in that crazy suit, hold up your pinky finger and sing “If I could be sure…”

Ryan tells us in no uncertain terms that the tour tickets go on sale May 13^th. We have never been to an Idol concert before; I just watch the vids on YouTube. It’s the 1000^th next best thing to actually being there, right?

Next up is Lauren who is singing “Where You Lead,” more commonly known as the theme song from the Gilmore Girls. Both Jimmy and Babyface give her heck about being too chickenshizz to try to hit high notes. Lauren is adorable but she is so obviously not ready for the music business. It’s no surprise to fans who read Lauren’s tweets, but she gets a surprise visit from Miley Cyrus. (Her fans are pissed at Jimmy for the comment he made to Lauren a couple weeks ago.) On stage Lauren tries to up her confidence level a bit. She interacts with the be-wigged fembots. She even drags a Random Boy up, which gives new meaning to the word “staged.” Two questions: WTH?? And who keeps dressing Lauren in these unflattering sack dresses? Must be a younger generation thing. Jen is proud of Lauren to the point of tears; Randy says she has extra swagger; ST talks about dartboards or some such. Ryan warns 19-year-old Random Boy to stay away from underage Lauren. Her response: giggle giggle. Because she’s 16!

Because the show is three years long and we only have six contestants left, they are filling the time with duets tonight. First up are Casey and Haley with “I Feel the Earth Move.” Before the song, we see a funny video of them talking about being paired up again. In a subtle way they are addressing the internet rumors of their real life romance. On stage they have excellent chemistry and are evenly matched vocally on the song. It is evident that they are having a blast. Steven totally calls Casey out about his crush on Haley. Don’t even bother to deny it “Weird Beard.” Ryan does everything but the “sitting in a tree” chorus. Is American Idol sponsored in part by eHarmony?

Next to the stage is our hometown boy Scotty who is doing “You’ve Got a Friend.” We are reminded that he was told to pull out the “big guns” last week. Tweeners are okay with lackadaisical but Jimmy wants more. Babyface demonstrates to Scotty how to sing more romantical. Can the teenager pull off an “airy” sound? He starts out so softly and tenderly that I feel like I’m at the altar call after a church revival service. Before we say “amen” and are dismissed, young McCreery kicks it up a notch. He seems very sincere singing about the “taking of souls if you let ‘em.” He is learning about this Hollywood Babylon. It’s actually a very good vocal and a welcome change from Scotty. Randy has been reading the Bible too but uses “turn the other cheek” out of context; ST talks about registers like he really understands them; Jen still likes the storytelling. Then Ryan gets Scotty to sit with him and chat about “The One.” Is that a new reality show on E? Scotty will not be corrupted. Please stop trying, SHOW.

After flashing his guitar pick at us, James gets the sit-down-inside-the-Coke-bubble with Seacrest. They talk about the awesomeness of Scotty because this is a friendly competition. The song “Will You Love Me Tomorrow” was requested on the americanidol.com forum and James is willing to comply. Babyface and Jimmy are impressed with James’ singing with just his guitar. On stage he starts out sans music a’la Bo Bice, and the crowd goes wild. Then he kicks it into high gear, and Jen is bee-bopping in her seat. Yes, we will still love you on results night. His arrogance must be what causes him to change the last lyric to “you better love me tomorrow.” Yikes Durbs. You just threw a bucket of ice cold water on an otherwise solid performance. Steven talks about making out with girls several hundred years ago; Jen was grooving for the first time tonight; Randy can’t shake his “other cheek” catchphrase and pronounces James the winner of season 10, then goes to give him a hug as commanded by Ryan. Can you say JINX?

Both Scotty and Lauren get the sit down treatment to talk about their third duet together. Matchmaker Ryan tries to start something icky between them, but they both insist that it’s all for the stage. Especially Scotty who thinks of Lauren as an annoying little sister. In the video, you can tell that Lauren adores Scotty and he just tolerates her. Ah, youth! Lauren keeps on proving that she is the second coming of Kellie Pickler. Things are better on stage when they sit to sing “Up on the Roof.” As always they sound better separately, and Scotty’s harmonies are so flat that my puppy’s ears are pulling back. Jen pretends that she liked Scotty as much as Lauren but we all know that she outsang his “brains” off.

For some reason, Steven has a little blonde girl sitting in his lap and she is playing with his notes. Ryan awkwardly says hi to “Carole King over here, Carole King’s daughter Sherry.” No more diet coke for you Mr. Host Man, seriously.

Next up is the “Idol from Idyllwild,” our favorite Casey, who is doing a song called “Hi-De-Ho.” I’ve never heard this King-penned Blood Sweat & Tears song. Jimmy warns that this obscure ditty takes 100% personality, which our eccentric dude has in spades. Dressed in a Blues Brothers suit with an ugly brownish tie and sporting a black fedora, Casey tickles keys with the pianist. Then he saunters over to the harmonica player; gives an UHM to the blonde sax player, then shares growls with the rest of the horn section. Before he mosies to the backup singers, he flings the hat into oblivion. “Mama why oh why” he growls to the sax player again. Randy says it’s like the Casey show and revue in the home state of New Orleans. Steven needs Head and Shoulders; Jen wants him to loosen up his legs a little bit; Randy adds “less growl” but he’s already had his turn. I’m glad that he is having a good time with his artistry, but I still nostalgically long for the Casey of Hollywood week when he was just a unique guy with a bass.

Still highly caffeinated (or worse), Ryan embarrasses Penny Marshall in the audience but ignores the other ladies who also look familiar.

The last solo performer tonight is Haley who is doing a song from the Tapestry album called “Beautiful.” In rehearsal Haley and her odd Easter egg headband get a tutorial on singing sweetly from Babyface. There is a tense vibe between Haley and Jimmy; I think she has about had it with him. Before she sings, Ryan and Haley explain that there was almost a monitor malfunction. She’s wearing a dress from the Mod Squad collection, 70s version. I’ve never heard this song before so have no basis for comparison, but she sounds good on the song. It was better in the studio, and I look forward to the iTunes download. Haley is my second favorite singer on the show now, because I am a very fickle fan. I like her because she has grown every week and has steadily gotten better. It’s not the same thing every week and that is admirable. ST talks about “short arms boxing with God” or some such; Jen reluctantly admits that Haley has an amazing voice; to a round of boos Randy says he didn’t like the beginning. Whatever dawg.

The last duet of the evening is … try not to giggle … James and Jacob. They are doing “I’m into Something Good,” but more likely they are into something chemical. (Or maybe whatever Ryan is on tonight.) They are so funny in the video, because they know that they are an odd match. They are going to play on that theme. These two would be HIGH-larious in a sitcom together. On stage, they ham it up for all it’s worth. Their vocals are not that bad, but neither of these guys should ever wear white pants again. Poor J.Lo and her Venus legs get on full display when the two serenade her and spin her chair around. Steven is not amused at these shenanigans and has no sense of humor about “going to church” on the Idol stage. Amen.

Quotes:

Steven: It’s about time you shook your tail feathers.

Ryan: We have rules. Okay, we have rules. Go back to your seat.

Casey: I like growling-singing with her on stage. ON STAGE.

Steven: I don’t want to speak for everybody here, so I will…

Jen: When we hear you sing a song like that, that’s why we couldn’t let you get away with what you did last week.

Ryan: Oy oy oy! A superstar would never let that happen!

Interviewer (to Lauren about Scotty): So how do you guys complement each other? Lauren: He never gives me compliments!

It's recap time of the very long Carole King episode; then Ray Chew, the piano player, gets a shout out. Tomorrow night Bruno Mars and season nine runner up Crystal Bowersox will guest. Hopefully Ryan will be detoxed by then. No more energy drinks for Seacrest. “Halle-lu-yer!”

Stefano Langone – The Doe-Eyed Wild Card

2011-04-22T21:23:00.001-04:00

The first time we saw Stefano on American Idol, it was amidst the drama of learning his back-story of surviving a horrible car accident in May of 2009. He spoke candidly of his scars and how blessed he felt to be alive.

Since then he has proven himself to be more than just a token sob story that the show likes to highlight. Stefano is not only a singer but a songwriter and pianist as well. The 22-year-old from Washington state performed an original song during the top 40 round. This impressed the judges enough to gain him entry into the top 24.

Once Stefano was put before the American public he didn’t receive enough votes to become part of the top 10. However, the judges were allowed three wild card spots, and Stefano deservedly received one of those. For this performance, he sang a gospel song because “I am a spiritual man; at that moment in time, I needed everything. I needed to shine.”

He set out to prove himself and week after week he listened to the advice from the judge panel and continued to grow as an artist. We hear more from Stefano during his exit interview.

Stefano is hoping to show his musicianship more now that he is off the show. He looks forward to collaborating with other artists that he has already heard from in the industry, including rappers.

Because he had been in the bottom three a number of times, Stefano was not surprised to be voted out this week. “I got to lucky number seven,” he says. In regards to James Durbin’s outburst of sadness at Stefano’s departure, he says that James is his “brother” and he will be his best man at his wedding.

Stefano believes that he stayed true to who he is as a musician while on the show but he learned a lot from Jimmy and the judges. “I’m ready to take the next step and use that in the big picture.” He realizes that he is marketable right now and plans to “pounce on it.”

As far as the grueling schedule of the show, Stefano says, “It’s star school. This is preparing you for what you got to do. It’s really prepared us for what’s to come. It’s so amazing.”

Read more about Stefano on his official American Idol page.

Who Gets the 7th “Last Goodbye”?

2011-04-21T23:05:00.022-04:00

The highly electrifying placard reads that SE7EN REMAIN. The last time I saw 7 stylized like this, there was a severed head involved. There must be an easier way!

Last night we learned that Scotty was feeling love down to his toes, James said they will stop degrading us, Haley could have had it all, Jacob was praying for much too much, Casey was getting very physical, Stefano was under a spell he can’t break, and Lauren was telling her dreams to a scarecrow.

Our judges, who are still trying to overcome criticism of not being hard enough on the contestants, seem to be in good spirits. Randy's patriotic in a US flag shirt. Jen’s been shopping at the Pretty Woman shoe store. Steven is waving his grandma’s scarf as if in surrender.

Ryan calls the seven to the stage so they can soak up the applause. Back in the Idoldome tonight is the one and only David Cook, winner of season seven. There is that number again. Also Katy Perry, blech.

Now it’s time to talk to the judges. Randy is biting his nails. Jen doesn’t want a girl to go home, and Marc’s not mad at Casey over the kiss. Steven promises to keep the censors nervous.

Split group numbers again because it seems to be working better than the large group songs. First up it’s Jacob, Stefano, Lauren, and Haley with “Hey Soul Sister.” I suppose this song is a good example of 21st century fare since it’s been played on the radio once every five minutes since 2009. As usual with the group numbers, the singers sound better individually than together. It’s mostly in unison which is good because attempts to harmonize might cause “lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains.”

The Ford video for this week is probably in honor of Earth Day which is tomorrow. The pretty song is called “World” and My Kid Tru says it’s by Five For Fighting. The video shows them lassoing clouds and watering the desert to make water for kayaking. It's a "past looking at the future" to encourage recycling because that is the bandwagon these days. “Careful what you wish for” indeed.

Next, the trio of Casey, Scotty and James perform Cold Play’s “Vida La Vida,” otherwise known as “live the life,” which is certainly true for these three guys. This is another one of those songs that has been played right to death and probably has more meaning behind it than a king who has lost his kingdom. Everyone from Lady Gaga to Taylor Swift has covered this iTunes commercial. Our own Idol trio of cuties don’t really add anything new or exciting to it, but it’s an okay way to pass the time. (At least they're not doing a cover of "Friday" like everyone else in the world lately!)

It’s back to the couch for some Interaction Time. Jacob still claims that he is not a diva y'all and is plotting his revenge. Scotty has a cupcake named after him here in NC, but he doesn’t mention the tornadoes that devastated our state last week. Casey shows us a fan-made portrait of him and his dog that is rather creepy.

Casey and Jacob have to stand up right where they are; no time to walk to center stage. Jacob explains for one hundred years about how the music track messed up while he was singing last night. So if he is in the bottom three it’s because it didn’t look in the mirror. Or something. Casey is reminded of his “cult hero” status and the spontaneity of his soft lips. He is safe and Jacob is sent the to B3 stools. Blame it on Marc Anthony; he taught them about the ear monitors in the first place.

In the wonderful season of number seven, the luminous David Cook was pronounced the winner. He is back tonight to perform a song called “The Last Goodbye” from his upcoming album This Loud Morning. That is a good title. I still like his self-produced pre-Idol indie CD better than anything he’s done on (or after) the show. On stage tonight he looks as good as ever, even though his hair is more Heat Miser than usual. The new song is catchy with a neat riff. Tru says that it reminds her of Daughtry’s “No Surprise.” (Chris is her very favorite Idol contestant ever.) After the performance, David chats with Ryan about a fundraiser he is doing in DC for brain cancer. It is good to see that he is as supportive of that cause as ever, but I miss the “AC” on his guitar. David’s gorgeous mom Beth is in the audience and wants to meet Steven. The rocker judge gives her a hug to her delight.

Next we get to see the Idol contestants have some fun fun fun (partying partying yeah!) They go to a Dodgers baseball game. Scotty plays baseball so this means more to him than the others, especially meeting sports legend Tommy Lasorda. They also go bowling at Hollywood Bowl, and none of them seem to have much experience. Haley is kicking the boys’ butts and enjoying every minute of it. Then they are off to the spa where guess who has a blast getting a facial – diva Jacob of course! Lauren also enjoys the pampering. James pranks Stefano on the massage table and we haven’t seen this much faux gay behavior since the Ryan and Simon days. Scotty is worried that his old-fashioned southern home town boys will be making fun of his face mask and manicure.

Now it is time for more results. Lauren, James and Stefano come to center stage. Ryan reminds us that Lauren needs to stop holding back and doing fluff songs. And maybe lay off the tanning, you look like an oompa loompa. The original artist that James covered is almost as impressed with James as Durbs is with his own self. Stefano is still basking in the positive review from the judges last night, but alas he is bottom three. He seems okay with that and practically bounces over to the silver stools. Lauren and James are both safe.

Haley and Scotty are called next. The Garner teenager is reminded that everyone in America is okay with his same old-same old except the three judges on American Idol. Haley has stepped up her game so much that she is a bonafide contender. Not so much her coral top/green mini/yellow heels outfit though. Haley is of course the one that is sent to the silver stool, but before she even gets comfortable Ryan tells her that she is safe. We are thrilled at this news. So now it’s between Brother Lusk and doe-eyed Langone.

There is still the spectacle of Ugh Katy Perry to get through. It’s a song called “ET” and while I like alien stuff as much as the next science-fiction geek, this song stands for “extra terrible.” The horrid Gaga-ish costume and creepy backup dancers are bad enough, but then a rapper dude comes out in a furry vest. Tru says it’s Kanye West. Is he there to tell Katy that Beyonce is a better singer than her? Because duh. She is not even singing, she is lip synching and not even doing a good job of it. When it’s finally mercifully over, Tru and I ponder how some of the most unworthy people on this planet become superstars. “Different DNA” indeed.

Like any other die hard Idol fanatic, I read behind the scenes information on the internet. That is how I know that the Katy/Kanye mess was pre-recorded, not done Live Right Now on Stage Tonight. They try to keep the illusion going by having Ryan interview Jacob and Stefano backstage. Such deceit on this show sometimes, man.

There is more time to kill so Ryan drags it out by asking the judges for their opinions. Jen reminds them that getting ousted now is not the end of the world. Randy wants them to focus on what they want to be when they grow up. Steven is 100% Switzerland.

Finally we learn that Stefano is the one going home. His Howie-lookalike dad is in the audience and he seems to be sadder than Stef about this. James is visibly upset also. Stef can’t stand still while watching his goodbye reel that shows him in various stages of hotness and adorableness.

He already had his farewell song prepared, the disco version of “Lately” that he did in the earlier rounds. It has the fitting lyric of “this time could mean goodbye.” He sings better than ever and before he hits the last note, James scoops him off his feet and gives him a twirl. The end of another good bromance.

Quotes:

Ryan: Nice shot of Casey and Randy there.

James: I think it’s my form.

Scotty: At the end of the day I’m going to be the guy with the best looking nails.

Next week, the remaining six singers will take on Carole King songs. Maybe Casey will do “Jazzman” but that is probably too obvious. Until then, try not to be a “victim ready for abduction.” Seriously, I think even the SyFy channel is ruined for me now!

The Top 7 of the 21st Century

2011-04-20T23:41:00.043-04:00

We flash back to January when Scotty, Haley, Stefano, James, Jacob, Lauren, and Casey were just faces in a crowd of thousands. Now they are THE Top Seven and get “Firework” as background music to their montage. This would be more special except that it’s the preview song for every other TV show or movie made these days. Hollywood must have received a discount rate on that very annoying song.

When the judges arrive we see that J.Lo has borrowed a romper from her little girl’s closet and added some sparkles to it. It may be to overshadow the awful attire that the man judges are wearing.

The theme this week is Songs from the 21^st Century, a.k.a. the decade the music died. The invasion of crapfestiveness galore. Glancing through the 750 or so songs in my iTunes, there are only about a dozen from the aughts. The only good thing that the past 10 ½ years has brought me musically is the discovery of Contemporary Christian music. If you want to hear some good singing, the kind that raises “goosies,” just listen to the incredible voice of Todd Agnew. But I digress…

Ryan tells us that we are in for a treat. The six contestants that have been eliminated so far – the “Eliminati” if you will – take the stage and man they are pee oh’d. They’re P!nk with frustration as they do her fun song “So What.” Naima is doing some kind of aerobics but this has always been her style. Karen and Pia prove they can sexy-up their look as good as the next pop tartlet. Ashton and Thia are a faint memory. Paul has not changed clothes since last week and has completely lost his voice. They’re "gonna get in trouble" and "start a fight." I so don’t believe it, what? They "got the rock moves." If you say so (what.) When it’s over, Steven pretends to remember knowing any of them.

As part of each pre-package, this week the contestants tell tall tales about each other. Scotty is up first; they open with him a lot, what is up with that? So that the ‘tweeners can still make bedtime I guess. The other Idolettes tease Scotty about his sideways mic holding. They must have forgotten about baby lock them doors. Good. Scotty is cheating a little bit on the theme tonight. Yes LeAnn Rimes did a cover of “Swinging,” but the original artist was John Anderson back in the early 80s. Jimmy tries to corrupt the teenage boy with talk of the Pussycat Dolls. Scotty sings the song as well as he ever sings anything ever. Thankfully he is not performing in a bikini, like LeAnn did on America's Got Talent. The judges have just about had it with him even though it was a fun performance. He should “boot scoot” more and get out of the safe box.

Next up is James who gets the chat stool with Ryan to talk about his hijinks. He has a Dr. House cane for no apparent reason. The others critique his rock horns, back-bending, highass voice and that centaur tail of his. Tonight James is doing “Uprising” by Muse. Of course he is. Jimmy is glad that he is doing a song with substance. My Kid Tru says “ooh will there be giant killer teddy bears on stage with him?” Sadly no, it’s a marching band, otherwise known as “they who get wedgies.” Thank you Durbs for making band cool. When he sings about how "we will be victorious," you believe it. He is a passionate performer but some of the highest notes are causing my puppy to flee. We learn from Randy during judge time that the lead singer of Muse dared James to do those elevations. Oh and Steven wants his Mad Max outfit back.

Silly Seacrest wants to get the show’s money’s worth out of the marching band. He even tries to lead their march into the next intro. Oh Ryan!

What can the fellow singers say about Haley? They pick on her about her arm-waving and the trademark growl. She is called everything from a sweetie pie to a brat. Very curious that there’s no comment from Casey. Everyone keeps talking about this Adele song “Rolling in the Deep” like it’s the second coming of power ballads. Will Haley be breaking dishes on stage like in the music video? Jimmy is confident that she will bring it; she just has to connect to the emotion of the lyrics. Haley starts out sitting on a stool in a pretty polka dotted red dress. She belts it like she really has a broken heart. It’s an incredible performance; she really does sound better when she just shuts up and sings. The judges agree that they like it when Haley puts her own flavor to a song, but she seems to be the only one they call out for pitch issues.

Jacob gets a Coke logo’d Seacrest Sit Down to talk about how it’s Luther Vandross’ birthday today. That’s special because he’s doing one of his songs tonight. According to the others, Jacob is a diva. And everybody said “amen!” He denies this of course, in the way that the best divas do. He is doing Luther’s “Dance with My Father,” a song that won Mr. Vandross a Grammy the year before he died. This song has personal meaning for Jacob because he lost his dad at twelve. Jimmy can relate to this, so they have a bonding moment. Jacob looks stylish in the shiny suit but something seems to glitch at the beginning. He recovers and gives a solid, understated (for him) vocal. His Fantasia-esque lisp is more pronounced on this sad song. Two out of three judges love it, but Randy wants more over-the-topness.

I have no idea who the skint-head guy in the audience is, this Mark person. I need to get out more. Tru thinks he is connected to that "dancing with D-List celebrities" show. (Shrug.) At least he is a fellow Casey fan.

Casey doesn’t think that his Idol competitors will say anything bad about him, because he is that adorable. Everyone (including Casey) dons fake beards to talk about how weird he is, then he makes it funny as always. Tonight he’s doing a Maroon 5 song called “Harder to Breath.” Lead singer Adam Levine is one of the judges on The Voice; maybe this is AI’s way of saying "hello." Finally Casey and Jimmy are on the same page with song choice, and Casey even gets a fatherly peck from the uber producer. On stage Casey plays guitar and adds more of a rock flavor to the song. Tru loves the rocking Casey but I still like the jazzy Abrams better. Was his kiss on the cheek to Jennifer inspired by Jimmy’s? Why does Steven keep using Jen’s mic? These questions to be answered by ST’s bleeps and Ryan’s fake Casey beard.

Uncle Nigel has put ST in time-out because of the cursing. “So What?” Doesn’t he realize he is a rock star? He proves this by having his way with a magazine cover featuring Ryan. Awkward!

We learn more about Stefano being a big flirt than we ever needed to know. He sure is a cutie pie in the various fedoras and beanies. In the studio, Jimmy explains in foul language about sex and strutting and that the hot guys don’t have to beg to get the girls. Stef is doing “Closer” by Ne-Yo, one of those nonsense ditties that fry your brain. This was done as a group song the year of Glambert that Kris Allen won. (Poor Adam having to sing about a “her.”) Tonight Stefano is smoking hot in jeans and a black tee shirt. Not sure what the dangling suspenders are representing, but when he says he "just can’t stop," we believe it. Stef has come a long way since the early days of the show and has taken lessons from the Constantine school of eyeballing the camera. The judges are over the moon about his dancing “swag.”

Per Ryan, every member of every Fox show ever made is in the audience tonight. Also, ST’s heavily tattooed daughter Mia who put a big red lipstick kiss on his cheek. Jen is not the only one getting smoochies.

It’s no surprise that her fellow contestants tease Lauren about her southern accent, but we also learn that she is a talker. Scotty is really funny in this segment. In the studio, Jimmy is concerned that Lauren is holding back so he brings in Rock Mafia to assist. They are the producers who created Miley Cyrus. Hopefully there will be no pole dancing this evening. Tonight Lauren is doing the song “Born to Fly” from the platinum album by Sarah Evans. Lauren sings as well as always and looks adorable in cowgirl outfit number 47. Tru is more impressed with the cute fiddle player on stage with the lucky teenager. While there was nothing particularly wrong with Lauren’s performance, the judges give her a beat down for being safe and not kicking butt like they know she can. “Practice singing in the shower,” says Ms. Lopez. "Deer in headlight" is the response.

Quotes from tonight:

Scotty: Who doesn’t want to hold a mic like a flute? I think it has character.

Steven: Run a little, like you did from your last girlfriend.

Lauren: There’s 15 million little girls pointing their finger at Randy right now.

Haley: He left his mark on that bad boy.

Jen: Casey’s got soft lips!

Ryan: The wheels have fallen off this program.

Jacob: If he finds out it may potentially have estrogen in it, he will flirt with a piece of paper.

After the recap we still have time for commentary from the Judgery. Jennifer pronounces that the competition has just gone crazy. Steven mumbles something about Casey but we’re not sure what it means. Randy says that everyone should be in it to win it, duh.

Ryan tells us that tomorrow night the guests will include that pop tartlet with the annoying songs, Katy Whatever. #1 on the charts right now, which means less than nothing to us. As Tru says, that just means it sucks even more because people will listen to anything, especially if it's showing boobs. (She cracks me up!)

Also appearing tomorrow evening, our very favorite Idol winner - David Cook! ‘Til then, I will be listening to David’s acoustic version of the Adele song over and over. This reaffirms my faith in popular music from the 21^st century.

And Now For Something Completely Awesome

2011-04-16T06:02:00.003-04:00

We would like to interrupt Season 10 for just a minute to announce a bit of great news from Season 7 winner David Cook. His new album comes out June 28th.

Paul McDonald – From Grand Magnolias to American Idol

2011-04-15T21:00:00.000-04:00

Although we only saw a snippet of Paul's initial audition, he caught our eye from the very beginning. But it was in the Vegas round when he performed the duet "Blackbird" with Kendra Chantelle that he blew us away.

Since making the Top 24, Paul has proven that you can have a very unique style and still get votes. He has a large fan base and not just because of his quirky musical style. His movie star good looks and incredible smile have charmed many fans.

We learn more about Paul from his exit interview. He says that he had a feeling about being the one that was going home this week, and he was totally at peace with it.

Paul has been touring for five years, most recently with the band Grand Magnolias. He says, “That’s where my heart and soul is… my blood sweat and tears.” He is looking forward to reuniting with them.

He was hoping that they would have an Original Songs week on American Idol and is pleased to have had the chance to perform a song he wrote earlier this season.

As far as regrets go, he notes that some of the song choices were not right for him. He will miss the “super tight knit” American Idol community. He is happy about his time on the show and had fun.

In regards to his good looks – he says he’s never had professional whitening done on his teeth; it’s just good genes. Before the show began, a friend of his from back home made the Rose Garden suits for him.

Paul confirms that he is dating Nikki Reed, the Twilight actress that he met at the Little Red Riding Hood premiere a few weeks ago. He’s impressed by the famous people he’s met since he’s been on the show.

His easy going attitude, “roots rock and roll” style and general joviality will be missed for the rest of the season. He is eager to get back to his original music and wishes the rest of the kids the best. “There are some superstars in this group.”

Read more about Paul on his official American Idol page.

“Don’t You Wanna Stay” for Movie Night?

2011-04-14T23:55:00.018-04:00

Let’s pop some Orville because it’s still CINEMA time on Idol. Everything from Disney to Hookers to Metal was represented last night.

We learned that Paul would rather hear some blues or funky old soul, Lauren is gonna move that mountain, Stefano wants you to love him much more, Scotty will make all your dreams come true, Casey is a very strange enchanted boy, Haley wants to come off of her color chart, Jacob will sail on silver girl, James has fifty thousand watts of power.

As the judges drag each other to the stage, we notice a sign in the audience for Steven Tyler “Most Beautiful Man.” Heh. My Kid Tru says no, that would be Johnny Depp. Or Dean Winchester on Supernatural.

We must say goodbye to someone tonight. 53 million votes says Ryan. It’s doesn’t really lessen the blow Seacrest, but thanks for trying.

Tonight’s guests are Kelly Clarkson who’s here with a country star named Jason Aldean. Rihanna will also be performing, and we hope Naima is watching her “personal idol” tonight.

Our idolettes will be performing in duets and groups again. First up, Scotty and Lauren do Lady Antebellum. I like that one song by them about it being a “quarter after one and I’m a little drunk.” We can’t let the teenagers do that one though, so they do “American Honey.” And OMG, can you say ADORBS!!?? These two are breaking my heart in a good way with how sweet and cute they are. They sing well together, they just need to watch the gestures lest they accidently poke their partner in the eyeball.

Ryan reminds us that we can download the contestants’ songs from iTunes. I have been listening to the ones from last night, and my favorite is the “Heavy Metal” song that James did. Second fave is Casey’s jazzy old Nat King Cole tune “Nature Boy.” Haley’s rendition of “Call Me” is much better than her live performance.

Next we get to see a Behind the Scenes Making of the Ford Video. They’re going all Walking Dead by doing a vid with zombies this week. James, Stef, Haley, and Scotty get to play the zombies. James especially seems to be having a blast.

The finalized music video is set to the singers doing "Animals," and the plot is that the zombies aren’t after the humans that are picnicking and playing Frisbee. They want the Ford! (This would have been way cooler if they had done the Natalia Kills song "Zombie" instead.)

So the producers must have been reading the rumor rags online regarding Casey and Haley. They are paired on a jazzy tune called “Moaning.” I’ve never heard this song before, but both of these kids are totally in their element with it. Haley especially impresses with her vocal tonight; it’s her best performance ever. Together Casey and Haley have that “geeky guy meets hot girl” vibe. Ryan is so amazed that he wants to hear what the judges think. They are going out of their mind with how good they were, mainly Haley. Tru and I agree it was one of the best female vocals on the show since Kelly.

After that performance, it would be sad to see Haley go home tonight. It’s finally time for some results action. Ryan calls Casey, Haley, Scotty, and Lauren back to the stage. We are reminded of Casey’s risk-taking that paid off. Haley’s inner Debbie Harry that didn’t really fly. Lauren and her incredibly huge earrings had a good climb. Scotty was “yo yo yo a star is born.” He is the first one safe, then Lauren. (Scotty’s dad looks like Patrick Warburton.) Casey is safe but Haley is bottom three. I don’t think the gossip about them is true; I didn’t see a boyfriend/girlfriend vibe when he hugged her.

Should have known that Rob Reiner was in the audience last night for a reason. He was with the contestants this week to talk to them about movies. The “esteemed director” and Idol fan talked to the kids about the importance of songs in films and how they can become iconic. They laugh at his take on Chariots of Fire. Rob reminds us that JHud and Carrie have both transitioned to movies, then disses the Justin/Kelly flick. Lauren can’t shake her accent, and Casey won’t live down the Seth Rogen comparisons. Jack Black who? Rob says.

The girl who started it all… Kelly Clarkson is back on the Idol stage, this time with Jason Aldean. We have no idea what he looks like because his 100 gallon hat is swallowing his head. Watching these two makes me think that maybe we’re seeing Lauren and Scotty of the Future. The country song is called “Don’t You Wanna Stay” and it’s awesome. Will be downloading that from legalsounds.com before this performance is even over, and a few more Kelly songs while there. After the performance, there is hilarious (for us) Ryan banter with Kelly. They seem like good friends but he seems to be freaking out a bit about going off script.

For our next group performance, songs from The Graduate are done by the revised Idol band - Jacob, Paul, Stefano, and James. Paul and James play guitar and they don’t start out too badly. Then the harmonies go to places that they aren’t supposed to go, and my puppy is looking at me like it’s my fault. “Mrs. Robinson” would not be pleased with these boys singing about her in this manner. “Jesus may love them more than they will know” though. Still not as bad as the Idol band a few weeks ago.

Shifting gears for more results time. Jacob let the bridge marinate over troubled waters. Paul had some crazy wild abandon. James got rock horns and could be at Ozfest. Stefano is now Steffy the Song-pire Slayer. Durbs is safe and there is an adorable nephew in the audience with a sign for Uncle James. Stefano is bottom three. Jacob gets the safety of the couch and Paul is bottom three. They are still roommates for life though!

Before we get to Rihanna, Ryan chats with living legends Chaka Khan and Anita Baker. I wish they could come mentor the kids; that would be great. Now Rihanna does her new song called “California King Bed,” and the stage is decorated with giant sheets so it all goes together. She is pretty and a good singer, with crazy dyed red hair. My favorite song of hers is the one she does with Maroon 5. Tru says the guy on guitar is hot. After the song is over and the sheets are taken down, she chats with Ryan about her tour and a duet with (ugh) Britney Spears. I am “California wishing on these stars” that I never hear that one.

Finally… who is going home? Ryan reminds us that only girls have left since the top 13. Will Haley break the trend? To our delight and Jennifer’s, she is safe. Since the semis, Stefano has been in the bottom 3 a thousand times. But Paul is the one going home. There are a lot of bleeps going on; am curious what is being censored.

Paul’s montage reminds us of his gorgeous face and “cool dude in a loose mood” demeanor. He says that it has been a fun ride. He has paid his dues and has the Rose Garden suits to prove it. His incredible smile really does light up the place. Then David Cook sings “when you walk away” and it’s over.

Jen wants Paul to sing “Maggie May” and he says not to be sad about his exit. He has a really good band to get back to.

Quotes:

Steven: Thank you for whipping that out on us.

Rob Reiner: I like being the oldest and the baldest person in the room; it’s a big ego boost for me.

Kelly: You keep rephrasing my tweets!

Ryan: We’re going to turn this into a daytime chat show right now.

I haven’t been thrilled with anything Paul's done on the show since he sang with Kendra in Vegas. But Paul fan or not, take a listen to the Grand Magnolias on their website. He is 1000 times better there than he’s been on this show. ‘Til next week, when it’s Songs from the 21^st Century, or as Tru says “when music started to suck.” She cracks me up.

It’s “Mutiny on the Bounty” Idol-Style for the Top 8

2011-04-13T23:47:00.018-04:00

“It was the moment no one saw coming”… Last week, gorgeous golden-voiced Pia was eliminated from the show. We are reminded that now some fans blame this ousting on Perpetual Bottom 3-er Stefano and He Who Received the Save Casey. Why? Because some fans are morons.

But no worries because … THIS! Is American Idol and it’s how they roll. “Every vote counts.”

The judges arrive and J.Lo is wearing the world’s largest loofah on the front of her dress. Maybe she needs something handy to clean Steven’s potty mouth. Both the rocker and Randy seem to have donned outfits from their grandma and grandpa respectively.

Ryan embarrasses Mrs. Jennifer Lopez Anthony by revealing that People magazine has voted her this year’s cover for their Most Beautiful People issue. Good going Jen, well deserved! Nice to see someone on the other side of 40 get this honor.

Tonight’s theme will be Songs from the Movies, or the “cinema” as our notable British producers like to say. It just sounds so much more elegant. To make this recap more fun (for me at least), I will preface each performance with a quote from the movie they are representing.

Also representing… The BEPs guy is back in the studio with Jimmy to aid and abet the contestants. My Kid Tru: “Why is will.i.am still here?” Me: “Who else is going to ‘go out and smash it, like oh my god’?” Tru: (Eye roll and expression of disgust.)

“Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.”

First up tonight in the doom spot is Sydney’s lovelorn best friend Will from Alias. No wait, it’s just Paul. He will be doing Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock and Roll” from Risky Business, sadly not in his underwear. (Remember back in the season of David Cook, he did a Guitar Hero commercial using that scene? Good times.) Will.i.am proves he is not totally worthless by vetoing Jimmy’s idea of a beat box in the middle of the song. Good Lord. Tonight Paul is wearing another Rose Garden suit, this time a black one. He is in full chicken-arm, side-step mode. He sounds like he is being strangled by his red satin neckerchief. Things get better when the blonde gal on sax joins him on stage and he rattles a tambourine. He is so much better with his band. The judges, who have been criticized harshly in the press for NOT giving anything other than positive critique this season, continue on this path. They think he is a true original, an artiste.

“You're the only pop star I know who can't get into her own concert.”

Three guesses as to what Lauren will be doing and the first two don’t count. Of course it’s the Hannah Montana Movie. OF COURSE it is. In the studio, Jimmy alienates Miley fans everywhere by telling Lauren that she is a much stronger singer than Miss Cyrus. Add this to “news from the file marked DUH.” He and Will also tell her that now is her chance to win over the Pia fans, and then they argue about semantics awhile. Tonight Lauren looks lovelier than ever; she pulls off the frou-frou dress and boots combo. She finally seems to understand the words she’s singing; it’s about a young girl making “The Climb” to fame or wherever, so she gets it. There are a couple of rough notes but overall she’s great. All we can hope for now is that we don’t see Lauren on YouTube with a bong in a couple of years. The judges love her and don’t call out the imperfections of her vocal. Steven flirts a bit, but she is OVER you.

“Check it. Like Jet magazine. This is my mack daddy vibe I am giving you. In all its splendor.”

Stefano is on the chat stools with Ryan, and our first thought is – why does he look like he is ready to go play basketball? They talk about goals or whatnot, and then we’re reminded why America hates him because of Pia. And he looks cute in a fedora. Jimmy and Will burn Stef a brand new one during rehearsal time. They are pleased with his rendition of Boyz II Men’s "End of the Road" from the Eddie Murphy flick Boomerang. On stage he is like Joey Tribbiani’s baby brother at his high school talent show. Stef’s singing sounds okay, but to pull this song off properly, we need to see at least four more boys who look like him up there. Tru says that his scars are sexy, which makes me wonder if that is why he’s wearing short sleeves tonight. Randy name drops his B2M friend who will love Stef’s performance. Jen likes him so much she can barely sit still, then needs to use the giant loofah for her own potty mouth.

“Well, sometimes the tree grows too fast and the roots don't develop. And sometimes you have to chop off the top of that tree to let the roots catch up.”

Ryan lets an adorable little girl from the audience introduce Scotty. We learn that this week he came this-close to stepping out of the box by doing “Everybody’s Talking at Me,” and he sounds good in rehearsal. However, our hometown boy decided to nixay that song and do a number from OF COURSE George Strait’s movie Pure Country. (What they don’t say is that perhaps Scotty didn’t want to do a song from a movie that was X-rated back in the day, Midnight Cowboy.) Lessons learned from the studio: Don’t call Jimmy “dude” and will.is.quite.funny! On stage, it’s the same ol’ sweet Scotty in the same ol’ cute way. “I Cross My Heart” was a song that meant a lot to me back in the days that I had my angel daughter here on earth with me, so it makes me cry a bit. The sign “Grandmas for Scotty” in the audience cheers me up though. Jen goes “all Cee Lo Green” to the critics about the non-judging issue.

“My life is like watching The Three Stooges in Spanish!”

Next on the chat stools with Ryan is our favorite jazz man, Casey. He gives a plug to Café Aroma who has an alfredo dish named after him. For movie week, Casey wants to do an obscure Nat King Cole number called “Nature Boy.” This song’s been in a few movies including the tearjerker Untamed Heart. Jimmy and Will, along with some other random producer, try to talk Casey out of this nonsense. They want him to do a Phil Collins song instead. Because he’s so much cooler or whatever? After struggling with the decision, Casey decides to go with his instinct and do the Nat song. Jimmy’s pissed. On stage, our boy has a white upright bass and his rendition of the old song is wildly entertaining. Uh-mm! The judges and crowd tell the uber producers to stick it by giving him a standing ovation. Was it perfect? No. But it was perfectly Casey. We “hope that America got that,” as Jen says. I can’t wait to hear this song on iTunes.

“This is my apartment. Women don't come here.”

As Jimmy explains, Haley has been a slow starter who has grown a lot during this competition. Like any teenager, I loved me some Blondie back in the day and had all of their albums. I never knew that “Call Me” was from American Gigolo because I was fifteen and had no clue. (So much has changed from 30 years ago!) Tru and I both really like Haley, but I don’t think that Miss Hot Legs is doing anything to improve her bimbo status by doing a song from a movie of this nature. But “Call Me” old-fashioned. Her stained-glass patterned dress is one picometre away from revealing it all. (Remember the scandalous Kat McPhee wardrobe malfunction with the yellow dress? Those were the tame years.) Haley howls and growls as well as she ever does, and as always, I predict that the iTunes cut of this track will be worlds better. The “karaoke card” is gently played, but the judges don’t want another girl to go home, MAN!

Ryan points out the odd trio of Hank Azaria, Rob Reiner and Cassandra Peterson in the audience. Perhaps they are working on the animated “When Moe Met Elvira” romantic comedy/horror flick.

“Hey. Don't ever let somebody tell you... You can't do something. Not even me. All right?”

We are reminded that Jacob was in the bottom 3 last week, and Jimmy blames his silly comment about folks not wanting to look at themselves in the mirror. I suspect that when that segment was filmed, Jacob said “just kidding!” but that part was edited out. I am probably wrong though. Will Jacob preach to us again this week? The tag team of Jimmy Gump and his best good friend Bubba say, not with a corny song like “Impossible Dream.” Instead, the dapperly dressed Brother Lusk will do the Roberta Flack version of “Bridge Over Troubled Water” from the Will Smith movie The Pursuit of Happyness. Yes, this is the song that put Clay Aiken on the map, but that was a different day without Team Iovine. Jacob redeems himself and the audience can feel the Holy Spirit. They are on their feet going wild. A humble Jacob seems grateful for the judges’ comments and for gaining the adoration of fickle AI fans once again.

“I think... you're coming in a little high, man.”

Closing the show in the pimp spot is the “tenacious” rocker James. He was adamant about doing a Sammy Hagar song called “Heavy Metal” from an animated movie of the same name. The super producer HATES this song, and thankfully the increasingly worthwhile Will is there to keep Durbs and Iovine from coming to blows. James doesn’t come off looking very respectful, even though he swears he just wants to remain true to his music. So it’s heavy metal on the American Idol stage. I’ve been watching always and can’t remember anything like this. James even gets a bona fide guitarist on stage with him. Tru says he’s Zakk Wylde and played for Ozzy, so he is excellent. She’s not into James anymore though; she says he is too into himself. But aren’t rockers supposed to be that way? When James high fives a little boy in the audience, he officially becomes my pick to win. The judges seem to think so too.

Quotes:

Ryan: If you liked sax with Paul…

Will: Make them little cupcakes; make them like spaghettis and stuff.

Ryan: Wow look at the volume in Mom’s hair!

Will: Kill me already, the agony the agony!

Will: Jimmy called me ‘mama.’

Jen: You need to do this and you need to do that and you need to do that, but all I really want to say is ‘wow.’

Randy: The world cannot live by pop stars alone.

Steven: That thing you got on is gorgeous too.

James: I’m making arm bands and flyers – give metal a chance.

Steven: Nice lip to Jimmy there.

Recap time from CINEMA night and we’ve had representation from every genre imaginable. Kudos to the contestants who stood up to the professionals and did their own thang. Tomorrow night the awesome “premiere Idol” Kelly Clarkson will make a guest appearance. In the meantime, I will be updating my Netflix queue with some of the movies from tonight.

Pia Toscano – Balladeer Extraordinaire

2011-04-08T23:45:00.001-04:00

In one of the "most shocking eliminations in American Idol history," Pia Toscana was voted off in ninth place this week. Pia had been considered a frontrunner since the Top 24, so the judges were very surprised by the outcome of the vote.

We didn’t meet Pia until Hollywood Week, when she demonstrated her incredible power vocals during the group round. Her singing continued to impress us as she rendered ballads in the style of icons Celine Dion and Whitney Houston.

As elegant and graceful as always, Pia opened up about her time on the show during her exit interview. Although she was in shock after the elimination, she believes that everything happens for a reason and there are better things in store for her. She is overwhelmed at the level of support she’s received from the fans, fellow contestants, and judges.

To her fans she says, “I’m just thankful that I made it this far. I’m in a happy place right now. I’m sad that I can’t perform for everybody next week, but I'll get my time. It’s not over for me. Keep watching the show and thank you for your support.”

Read more about Pia on her official AI web page.

“God Speed Your Love" To the One Going Home

2011-04-07T23:19:00.015-04:00

Last night we heard Songs from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I hope that someday, someone on the show will sing my favorite rock song of all time – the iconic Led Zeppelin anthem “Rock and Roll.”

Our PowerPoint slides remind us that NINE REMAIN but that there can ONLY BE ONE. The singers have come from all over the country and are “uber talented.”

“It’s been a long time since I rock and rolled…”

Last night – Jacob saw a summer’s disregard and a broken bottle top, Haley made us feel like we were the only man, Casey knew that sun is cold and rain is hard, Lauren got her soul from the lost and found, James saw all the love that was sleeping, Scotty won’t be hanging 'round your door, Pia loves you like the flower loves the spring, Stefano had misery deep down in his soul, Paul ain’t seen the sunshine since he don’t know when.

“It’s been a long time since I did the stroll…”

The judges are announced and come to the stage. Jennifer has her stern headmistress updo again. Rut roh, we’re in wicked trouble now! Ryan warns all of us that we are in for a killer line up and a shocking surprise. Constantine Maroulis is back in the Idoldome tonight. Also visiting is punk rocker Iggy Pop; we are not familiar with this artist. I can only think of that one song in Pretty Woman.

“Let me get it back, let me get it back, let me get it back…baby where I come from…”

The pointy pose is back! The top nine do a medley of rock songs, and wow it’s a sad yet hilarious hot mess. Whoever thought to put “I Love Rock and Roll” with “The Letter” then mix in “Sweet Home Alabama” and stir? These songs do not a mash-up make. My Kid Tru says it’s like drunken karaoke and she is not wrong. It’s the arrangement that’s worse than the singing.

“It’s been a long time, been a long time, been a long lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely time…”

The singing on the Ford music video is much better; the song is “Love Gun” and I’ve never heard it before. The plot of the video involves spy games, double-crossing and technology theft. Pia and Paul look like movie stars. Ryan reminds us about the scavenger hunt for a Focus. There's always something going on at the www.

“It’s been a long time since the book of love …”

We learn that this week the contestants had a “charisma coach” – none other than Mr. Katy Perry himself, Russell Brand. He is pretty funny; I’ve seen him on late night talk shows. We don’t watch many R-rated movies. (We’re like Jacob! We have moral convictions! LOL.) Russell seems to have a great time with the contestants and they have a blast also. Some of his advice might not be fit for the ears of the minors still left in the competition though!

“I can’t count the tears of a life with no love …”

Ryan very seriously dims the lights and calls Casey, Stefano, and Lauren to center stage. Lauren and her grandma’s pantsuit from the 70s are safe. Casey - otherwise known as Kelly Clarkson's crush - and his beanie hat are safe. The judges are still arguing about Stefano but Randy and Jimmy win – Stefano is bottom three.

“Carry me back, carry me back, carry me back …baby where I come from… ”

When Constantine was on the show back in the season of Bo that Carrie won, I was not a big fan. However I enjoy when any “alum” visit the show, so am glad to see him back on the Idol stage. He performs “Unchained Melody” as if it were being done for Disney’s the Lion King. My poor puppy is seeking refuge under the covers and doesn’t understand what is happening. She doesn’t even stay for Con’s trademark “greasy eyeball” to the camera. We learn that Con is a Tony nominee for Rock of Ages and has a new baby girl.

“It’s been a long time, been a long time, been a long lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely time…”

Now we are reminded that sometimes having a so-called professional stylist is not a good idea. Gwen Stefani is a cute gal but if these outfits are any indication of her fashion line, she needs to stick with singing. When Gwen was a mentor/coach a few years ago, she didn’t come across as a very warm touchy-feely person. Time has not changed this. Like her song says, “I know I’ve been a real bad girl.” She gives the three remaining gals the very worst items from her closet, and they pretend to like them because they’re on television.

“It’s been a long time since we walked in the moonlight…”

As Ryan quotes, there is no “Sweet Escape.” It’s time for more bottom three action. Paul, Scotty and Pia are front and center next. Scotty tells us about how he used to get in trouble on the school bus for singing. No worries about that now, he is safe. Paul and his dangling necklaces from the Steven Tyler collection are safe. Surprisingly it’s Pia (!!!) who is sent to the B3 stool. Those "million guys in the million bars with the million drinks" are upset right now, as well as the audience.

“A-making vows that just can’t work right…”

During the one thousand commercials, My Kid Tru and I argue about the B3 status of Pia. I like Pia and think she’s a great singer who just lacks stage presence. Tru thinks that she has too much of the “snobby girl” factor happening.

To make the night’s "festivities" even worse, Ryan tells us that the contestants got training in how to be media savvy from none other than the TMZ folks. Good Lord. What is next, the spawn of Satan is coming to tutor them? (Tru says yeah, last night. Heh.) I can’t stand TMZ – their antics are unprofessional and they give journalism a bad name. 'Nuff said.

“Open your arms, open your arms, open your arms…”

We still feel the taste of smut in our mouths from that paparazzi segment. But it’s time for more results so Ryan brings over James, Haley, and Jacob. James and all of his mug shot faces and vulnerability are safe. Haley and the year 1968 are both safe. Brother Lusk learns not to wear sweaters from the Mr. Rogers neon colors collection; Jacob is B3.

“Baby let my love come running in…”

Ryan warns everyone that we might not be ready for this next guest. "Real Wild Child" Iggy Pop has lost his shirt. Our apologies go out to Jovany. Tru asks what IS this? It’s like a parody you see on Saturday Night Live. Iggy gets the censor bleep more than once. Someone please get the prehistoric punk rocker a tee. His song goes on for-frickin-ever. (Thankfully my puppy is already safely covered up.) Poor Jen gets the personal serenade; Steven probably warns Jen to stand or he’ll come back! Tru says, "This should be the only commercial that Above the Influence uses ever."

“It’s been a long time, been a long time…”

Back to the reason we are here… Jacob, Pia, and Stefano are in the bottom three. Ryan reminds Jacob about his bitchy comment to America and tells him that he is leaving… to go to safety. Nice heart attack for the Lusk family. So we are between Pia and Stefano, and Stef has resigned himself that he is the one to go. He has been a persistent bottom 3-er. To the shock of the Idoldome and the viewing audience, Pia is actually the one leaving. The judges, especially Randy, are losing their minds.

“Been a long lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely time…”

Not sure if this elimination is Chris Daughtry level shocking but it certainly enters Jennifer Hudson territory. WTH happened? Ryan asks the judges, but they don’t know. Perhaps the voting audience needed something less than cool perfection. While the “Don’t You Forget About Me” montage rolls, Pia is stoic as always. Ryan asks her to sing one last time and she chooses the Pretenders song, which begins “Oh, why you look so sad/ tears are in your eyes.” She’s surrounded by the remaining eight then bear hugged by Jacob, and she finally gets her good cry.

Quotes:

Russell Brand: Loosen up! Take your clothes off! You’re fired!

Randy: I’m alone. I’m all alone, Ryan.

Ryan: We’re the same height, but I’m a quarter your age, Harvey.

Ryan: I’ve got to cut out carbs after seeing that.

Tru and I disagree on Pia being the right choice to leave the show tonight. However, we do concur that we hope the fans don’t turn on Casey or the judges for the whole save issue. More importantly, I hope he doesn’t blame himself. These are still human beings on that stage after all.

Next week will feature songs from the cinema, another familiar theme. For now, I am going to listen to the Heart version of “Rock and Roll” for a million years. It's been a long lonely time...

Have You Ever Seen the Top 9 Gently Weep?

2011-04-06T23:10:00.150-04:00

The Top 9 boogie on out to the stage with Ryan, as he explains that this is not really “rock week” per se. The theme is Rock –n– Roll Hall of Fame, more specifically the “500 Songs that Shaped Rock and Roll.” Of course, he doesn’t actually say all of this, but we get the drift. (Limited song list; expect repeat-o song choices.)

The excitement builds as the judges cross the kaleidoscope stage. Can you imagine being in the Idoldome? Instant seizure from all those lights. I'd risk it!

Ryan tells us that we only have 90 minutes tonight, so let’s get the party started. Gwen Stefani is styling the ladies from her own fashion line. This should be a train wreck, er... I mean interesting.

For tonight’s episode, our very own Steven Tyler tells us about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame museum in Cleveland. You know, that city where Valerie B. and Betty White are hanging out now. The theme song from one of those CSI shows plays in the background as we learn that each year different artists are inducted and it’s all about preserving history for the children. Because they are our future.

The most important thing to know about the HOF is that Aerosmith was inducted about ten years ago. As “Sweet Emotion” plays in the background, Steven shows us all kinds of outfits that are almost as crazy as the shiny gold suit he's wearing. Then we see a bust of his screaming face and of course he gets weird with it. ST is over-the-top funny and entertaining as always but man oh man, he is both Aunt AND Uncle Creepy.

At the end of the segment, Steven applauds for himself by tapping the Coke glass. Poor Randy tries to get his attention to no avail. Is it because his shiny black jacket embarrassingly resembles a Hefty bag? Ryan seems to think so!

As the nine contestants come to the stage again, Ryan tells us that Jimmy Iovine had some help with the production work this week. Evidently will.i.am with the BEPs has been hired on full time. WTH? For Hall of Fame week, American Idol? Did they get a discount rate or something?

I am not a hater of the BEPs; they have a couple of songs that I like. My Kid Tru loathes their music, mainly because the lyrics are made of suck. (Her words.) Just for aggravation, I am going to quote "Boom Boom Pow" throughout tonight's recap.

So who’s "got that rock and roll? That future flow?" Let us begin…

First up in the spot of doom is Jacob, who is wearing all white for no apparent reason. He didn’t fit into the category of folks styled by Stefani, no matter what some folks think. We learn that Jacob was originally going to do that sexy Marvin Gaye song, but Brother Lusk is a church-goer. He doesn’t want to promote the nasty. So instead he is going to do... a Michael Jackson song. That’s better! Hard to tell what is more confusing: Will’s talk about Himalayas and submarines or Jacob’s “how to alienate voters in three simple steps” speech. At any rate, Jacob does a serviceable job of “Man in the Mirror” as we try not to giggle at his attempt to sexy dance. Somewhere Kris Allen is saying, at least he doesn’t try to “copy my swagger.” Steven is more excited about the backup singer, who looks like Naima in 20 years. She co-wrote the song, and it's cool to have her there. Lots of shouts of "I love you" and pride going out for the Lusky Stank.

Because she is a good listener and the judges have only said this a thousand times already, Haley will be rocking some Janis Joplin tonight. For her styling, Gwen put Haley’s finger in a light socket. That is some bigass hair she’s got. In the studio Will is quiet comical as he tries to explain to Haley how she needs to sing “Piece of My Heart” - like she’s getting mad wit’ it. I remember when Carrie did the Faith Hill version of this song; she got a beat down that week. But then again, our Checotah season four winner did not have the black leather leggings back then. Wow, that is some “next level visual shizz.” On stage, Haley brings exactly all the things that poor Casey has been told for weeks to NOT bring – yelling, growling, angry faces. Jen explains that it’s okay for girls to do this, and that Haley will "be around for a minute." Is that “the block” talk for "a while?" At any rate, I expect to enjoy the iTunes version of this Haley song.

So it must be said – Casey has lost some of the spark that made him our very favorite contestant early on. Tru and I still adore him but there has definitely been some air leaked out of his balloon. In the studio, Jimmy and Will talk Casey out of doing a Sting song (which was actually by The Police but that’s okay.) After nervous banter, the decision is made to go with “Have You Ever Seen the Rain” which is a much better song for him. On stage, he finally gets to perform with the upright bass again. Thank you Uncle Nigel for getting it out of storage. Casey’s performance is understated and he is clearly happy to “get that bass overload.” Not sure where Ryan went, but Casey stands alone to listen to the judges. They think he’s revolutionary and a real musician. Jen wants to pay top dollar to hear him on the front row. My sentiments exactly. And look, here comes Ryan just in time to mention that dang save again. Let. It. Go.

Although lovely Lauren is neither natural (based on those dark roots) nor a woman (she just turned 16), for no particular reason she is doing “Natural Woman.” Maybe in the “future cybertron,” but not now. Kelly Clarkson wasn’t too much older when she did this song back in her season. In the studio, Will explains that the combo of country and soul is C-O-U-N-T-R-O-U-L. Lauren digs this because she is trying to gain confidence and reclaim the personality that has been stolen from her by cyber bullies. Our prediction is that she will sing the ever-loving mess out of this song but not connect with the words she is singing one bit. Word and word on both. We’re like, linked in with Miss Cleo or something. Doesn’t take tarot cards to read that the judges will love her and that she will mumble incoherently after their review. We won’t even go into how terrible the styling by Gwen was, because there is No Doubt. See, I made a punny.

Tru is not amused by any of my nonsense and has about had it with both me and the show now. She's not impressed with the third appearance by the "professional" auto-tune BEP. Plus, she is disappointed at how sad ST always seems to be lately.

Not even Christian Slater in the audience can cheer her up. When she sees him she thinks of the movie Heathers and “Dear Diary, my teen-angst BS now has a body count.” Actually, that fits right in with this season of AI in several ways. We can ponder them during the commercials that star J.Lo.

Because we have some time to kill, or maybe they need to set up the stage for James, we have the "Seacrest Chats with the Judges" segment. Either everyone is high or we are totally missing out on some strange inside jokes. Poor Randy is once again third wheel. All the way to the bank, but still.

James is going to surprise everyone with how mellow he can be by doing “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.” It’s a good thing that the powers that run Idol got that Beatles catalog; they are getting their money’s worth. James explains his intentions to the producers, but Will just rambles on about different colors and I think he is quoting lyrics to some BEP song maybe? No matter, because James does a fine job on the song. It is not perfect, he misses a few notes, but he is a performer with a capital P. On that last note he sounded like he was “stepping on leprechauns.” I can’t wait to hear his iTunes version of this song. The judges are glad he stopped running around long enough to find the other dimension inside of him. James gets emotional which seems on cue, but that may be because I am jaded. Do not understand his comment about his "own version" of this song, but Tru says it’s on YouTube. (Things to google later.)

We are reminded of the cute pictures of Scotty in his Elvis Halloween costume when he was a kid. He’s doing “That’s All Right Mama” and he is still too young to understand that Jimmy and Will are messin’ with him in the studio. They will think about this in a couple of years when Scotty is winning the Academy of Country music award for Entertainer of the Year. (What? Stranger things have happened, just ask Taylor Swift.) Anyway, tonight Scotty is out to prove that he has a different side, an EDGE if you will. He starts out on the staircase again, then mosies down to the audience. To add to his trademark sideways mic-holding, he has learned the chicken-arm side-step from Paul. But this is not a terrible thing. We call shenanigans on the stampeding of teen girls to the stage. Security! The hometown boy has “got that hit that beat the block” and the judges agree. Jen even says he has some hip-hop flavor. Now Ryan wants fans too.

The aforementioned actor Christian Slater has a new Fox show, so he is required by law to make a “look at me I’m in the audience of American Idol” appearance. The new show also stars the guy from Reaper, a short-lived sci-fi/comedy that Tru and I both liked. (I think we’re the only ones who’ve ever heard of it but that is how we roll most of the time.)

Incidentally, both Christian and his cute daughter are fans of Pia, who is up next. Pia already told us last week that she was going to do “River Deep Mountain High” tonight. It’s the Ike and Tina Turner song about rag dolls and puppies, one they did before all the beatings started. (Men who hit women should go to prison for life and have a 10-foot tall boyfriend named Bubba, but that is a soapbox for a different day.) For now we have Pia in the studio, singing beautifully as always. The producers want her to show some power and wow factor and not put us all to sleep. When we see her on stage tonight, it becomes official that Gwen hates American Idol. Girl, that outfit is so “2000 and late.” Not her best look. But “do we love her, my oh my?” Yes, say the judges, but as always they want to keep pushing her further. ST says that a million guys are having drinks about her and someone shouts out “sex on the beach.” Awwkwaard.

Speaking of awkwardness, Todd Rundgren is in the audience and there is a history between “Randy’s friend” and his fellow judge Steven. Hollywood really is a small town, yes?

Cutie pie Stefano has something to prove tonight so he will be singing “When a Man Loves a Woman.” Not the sad movie where Meg Ryan is an alcoholic but her husband Andy Garcia loves her anyway. And hopefully not the Michael Bolton version. In the studio, Will tries to demonstrate that he isn’t just some overrated playa, he really is here to help the contestants busta move. Also, Ryan Tedder (“Apologize”) is on hand to help produce the track. On stage Stef starts on the stairs and begins the song in falsetto. It is not my favorite sound for him. My puppy has fled the room by the time Stef rises, which is not a good sign. At least he looks stylish in the black suit and glittery silver tie. By the end he works it out and proves it wasn’t “that low-fi stupid eight bit.” Jen thinks it’s magical, then she and Randy almost come to blows during his critique. ST says that they have to agree to disagree, and we learn that Stef punches air to relax.

If American Idol doesn’t work out for Paul, then perhaps he could nab a role as Bradley Cooper’s younger brother in the next Hangover movie. Tonight he will be performing the Johnny Cash classic “Folsom Prison Blues.” Jimmy tells him that he needs to sing it like he is out of her effing mind, like he’s the ghost of Joaquin Phoenix’s career. He needs to make his hair messy but there is not time for a water break! Now on stage with two other musicians, Paul is more in his element. He is used to singing in a band so the interaction helps his performance. Clearly in his comfort zone, he’s on the “supersonic boom.” I still can’t listen to his iTunes tracks; watching him is easier because he is pretty to the eyes. But the smiling through a song about killing a man to watch him die equals creep factor. No wonder ST likes him so much. My Kid Tru and Randy have three words “I LOVED IT.” Me and the pup, not as much, but that’s okay. (Agree to disagree.)

Ryan closes the show with an up tempo old-fashioned hoe down. That boy has no rhythm at all, bless his heart.

Recap time - who had “da beat dat bounce” tonight? They have finished early, but Seacrest has a backup plan (no not the J.Lo movie.) As the contestants continue the impromptu dance fest, Ryan quizzes the judges again on their thoughts. They don’t really have any, but it's finally mercifully time for Breaking In. Whew.

Quotes:

Steven: I wonder if this will put an end to “aren’t you Mick Jagger?”

Randy: There were moments ALL OVER that!

Ryan: So what did you envision your boyfriend will.i.am doing wrong, 'cause you were pissed!

Steven: Murderer! Murderer! You killed it.

Jimmy: That’s why God made remotes.

Tomorrow night one of them will go home. Can’t say that any of them bombed too terribly, so it’s anyone’s game at this point. There’ll be a special guest performance by that Constantine guy from season four, and Ryan promises more surprises. 'Til then... keep on “rockin’ dem beats.”

The Idol iTunes

2011-04-03T21:31:00.007-04:00

From the first week that they became available, I have been listening to the iTunes versions of this season’s songs. For the most part, they are very good. Since it only costs about 7 bucks for all of the week’s songs, I just buy all of them. Plus it’s a bargain, because individually they are $1.29 each. Since I like to listen to music in my car, I always burn the songs onto a CD.

Sometimes there is a big difference between what you hear on stage and what you hear on the recorded versions. Here is a rundown of what I think of them. Aunt Pearl’s mini review, if you will.

Naima’s voice is the one that’s most different from live to recorded. I still listen to her version of “Umbrella” the most, and as my mama says, it's "wide dang open."

Surprisingly (to me), my second favorite is Haley. Her recordings are very good; she has nuances in her voice that are amazing.

Both Casey and James sound better recorded also, as they are much more subtle and less screamy/ growly in-your-face. I deem them both “radio ready,” as Randy Jackson says.

I’m not into country music at all, so it’s pretty much “hi Scotty, love ya, bye Scotty.” Hitting the NEXT button now.

Lauren sounds equally as good on stage as on the recording. Her songs aren’t as overtly country, so I can make it through her tracks fine.

Pia and Thia have lovely voices but since I don’t want to fall asleep while driving home, I can usually only take the first minute of their songs.

Early ousters Ashthon and Karen also have pleasant recording voices, but Karen’s bi-lingualing gets on my nerves. I like songs I can halfway sing along with, ya know?

Stefano “ov.er.e.nun.ci.atessss” but at least you can understand the words. Without his nice face to look upon, the effect is lost on me.

Unfortunately, I can only take about five seconds of Jacob caterwauling and one half of a second of pretty-faced Paul before pushing that NEXT button. Like nails on a chalkboard, eeeiiii.

So that’s my mini review of the iTunes cuts thus far. Nine more weeks to go. Holla!

Naima Adedapo – Exotic Jamaican Spiced Flower

2011-04-02T12:04:00.003-04:00

From her first audition, former janitor Naima impressed us with her unique style and courageous spirit. The mother of two had been working on the maintenance crew at a rock festival when American Idol changed her life.

Since making it into the Top 24, Naima has demonstrated that she is determined to remain true to herself when it comes to her music. Week after week we saw her step out of the box, and while her techniques were not always suited for everyone, they definitely suited Naima.

We learned more about Naima during her exit interviews. What will she miss most about Idol? Her friendship with Jacob and the styling!

Naima has been a member of various dance troupes, including hip-hop and African. She feels that dancing and moving are imperative in order to connect to the Idol audience.

She comes from a family of artists and has no regrets about how she shook things up on the show. Even when people didn’t understand her, she felt that they liked her.

Read more about Naima on her official American Idol page.

Thia Megia – "Kid Star of Tomorrow"

2011-04-02T11:55:00.003-04:00

Young Thia Megia is already a veteran contest performer. Prior to American Idol she was on Showtime at the Apollo (in the Kid Star of Tomorrow contest) and America’s Got Talent.

The teenager demonstrated a lot of poise during her run on the show as well as delivering practically perfect vocals week after week.

We learn more about lovely Thia during her exit interviews. She’s been performing since the age of 5 and has always had a passion for singing. She is thankful for all of the fans that voted for her and is looking forward to the summer tour.

Thia enjoyed attending the Idol School with Scotty and Lauren, even when it cut into practice time. She loved being on the show and feels it helped her grow as an artist. Her musical inspirations are Adele and Jason Mraz, as well as Billie Holiday.

She has no regrets for the choices she made on the show especially this week’s song that she dedicated to her brother.

You can learn more about Thia on her official American Idol web page.

“Ain’t Gon’ Lie Boy” - Tonight 2 Must Go

2011-03-31T23:01:00.017-04:00

The drama is building. The tension is high. And that is just at Aunt Pearl’s House! Just kidding! Not. Seriously though, those tinkling keys at the intro made me think that I’d accidentally changed the channel to Lifetime Movie Network.

Last night Sir Elton John’s songs told us: Scotty is in a truck going home, Naima is feeling like a little kid, Paul is not the man we think at all, Pia doesn’t want to be losing everything, Stefano counts the headlights on the highway, Lauren is never knowing who to cling to when the rain sets in, James has had it with this discipline, Thia still feels the pain from a scar that won’t heal, Casey hopes we don’t mind that he put down in words, Jacob wants to know when lightening will strike him, Haley has electric boots and a mohair suit.

Random thought: if I was lucky enough to be in the Idoldome, I wouldn’t be one of those sign-carrying people. Especially one as lame as JUST GIMME A KISS STEVEN.

When they come on stage, Jen and ST laugh like they share a joke that Randy isn’t in on. And Beetlejuice pants - really Mr. Tyler?

55 million votes came in and half of those were for Ryan to change his hair back. You are not starring on Mad Men, SEACREST. Reminder number 1,748 - we have no more saves people. It’s on America now.

Our Top 11 Part 2, otherwise known as this summer's "touring group" come out to the great delight of the fans. They get to go sit on the couches for awhile and just chillax.

Fantasia will perform tonight as well as Jamie Foxx and one of the Black Eyed Pea guys. I expect vocal acrobatics and some auto-tuning, in that order.

No group song with all 11 contestants tonight and the crowd went Yay, I mean Aw! Instead we will have Group Rounds but without the melodrama of Hollywood week.

First up, Scotty and Lauren do a duet. It’s the song that Carrie and Randy Travis did on the show a couple of years ago. Copy cat much producers? Lauren and Scotty do great solo but their voices don’t really blend well together, and she drowns him out more than a little. Can’t help but think – look it’s DJ Tanner and Richie Cunningham, to which My Kid says who?

Now it’s time to lock them doors and turn the lights down low. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.) Scotty and Lauren are of course both safe as babies in their blankies. Two cute kids, and we're glad about these country teenagers.

Before the Ford video, the 11 plug a contest about finding icons on the website or some such. Finally the music vid song is one I’ve heard before, "Kryptonite." They have some kind of superhero thing going on. I love those comic book movies so this is a fun video for me.

Ryan tells us about another contest, some kind of scavenger hunt for a Ford. Who has time, really? What will all the blogging and whatnot. J

Then it’s "ask the contestants stupid questions" time. They chat about Casey’s nicely trimmed beard. James has a fake rasslin' belt as well as a MASSIVE fan base. Ryan hints that the Durbs needs to dial back a little bit; he is not a rock superstar yet.

Next Naima and Jacob do the old "Solid as a Rock" song from back in the disco day. Again, they sound fine separately but together it’s rather shaky. Contestants on So You Think You Can Dance are safe from these two. We do finally get the "pointy pose" though, which is worth the ticket price.

Dimming lights… Jacob is safe and in spite of getting a "boom shaka laka" from Steven last night, Naima is in the bottom three. At least Naima looks really pretty tonight on the silver stool of doom; she doesn’t seem surprised at all.

Now we have season four winner, Fantasia; she wants to "take Idol back old school" with a song called “Collard Greens and Corn Bread.” Southerners understand the appeal of the title of this song. Fantasia is sporting an odd blonde hairdo but she is shiny in the red dress. Her trademark raspy lisp is still evident when she sings the love song about soul food and sweet potato pie. I am really hungry now. I think I’ll go to Cracker Barrel for lunch tomorrow.

Fantasia ends the song with a gentle “Steven, I love you” which gets the audience to its feet. She cautions the current crop of contestants to keep themselves surrounded by people who really care about them, because success is not all peaches and cream. REALLY hungry now!

We have more group singing – Haley, Thia, and Pia. Ugh, they are doing a Katy Perry song. She’s a cute gal but her songs get on my last nerve. This is one of the worst, the one about getting "your hands on me in my skintight jeans" or some such slutfest mess. I have to take my puppy out of the room until this is over because it’s a bad influence!

At least all three girls look pretty tonight as Ryan gets to the “buzz kill.” Who is not safe out of these three? Based on last night’s performances, it will probably be Thia. When Ryan’s says Pia is safe, the camera flashes to the audience and we see Pia’ Family. Flashcard Fail, lolz. Thia is the one in the bottom three. Will the reign of Jasmine 3.0 and Ramiele 2.0 be over tonight?

In the audience - that cutie patootie Kris Allen and his equally gorgeous wife Katy. Remember when Simon kept telling Kris to hide her? I don't miss Cowell.

Now it’s time for some behind the scenes footage. We get to see what the Idols have been up to these past few weeks. They did a charity event in Phoenix, met Muhammad Ali and Reba; they hob-nobbed with previous Idol winners Kelly Clarkson and Jordin Sparks.

The Idol mansion got flooded and the contestants had to move out. So much for all that “haunted” gossip, not that I believed it. Well maybe a little. They are being transferred to an ordinary ol' hotel. Bummer.

Back to work at Interscope for recordings, then to the spa to get their "hair did" and whatnot. Then stage work with Marc Anthony, who appears to be giving them H E double hockey sticks.

Then it's practice, perform, results ... Casey needing a doctor, Casey crying and upset because he can’t look the others in the eye now. Then they all hug him and everything is okay. This show man. I need a Kleenex.

Next, we get to see the debut of the season 10 Idol "garage band" – Paul, Casey, Stefano and James. They are doing "Band on the Run," and it’s a good thing that they are all perusing solo careers. These guys DO NOT sound good together at all. It's a hot HOT mess from the first note to the last "ooh ooh ooh."

Both Ryan and Steven lie and say that Band Idol has a future in the music business. Now it’s serious business time. Ryan tells Casey that he would be impressed with how many votes he got and he is safe. He gets a bear hug from Jacob and I get a bear hug from My Kid. All is well. James is also safe, leaving Stefano and Paul. Will it be "Tiny Dancer" or "Rocket Man?" Surprisingly, Paul is the one to join Naima and Thia in the bottom three.

Jamie Foxx and will.i.am collaborated on a song called "Hot Wings" for a movie called Rio. Wow, it’s a food themed episode tonight! They didn’t tell us that it was Jamie, Will and a hundred zillion backup singers and dancers. From the first two notes of this racket, count me out. My apologies to Band Idol, you guys were great, way better than these so-called superstars. We have here ladies and gentleman, an Oscar winner and a Grammy winner. And a headache-inducing cacophony. The movie looks good though; I am middle-aged but still love me some animation.

As Ryan says, "two of the faces on this stage" must leave. Faces? Haven’t heard it expressed that way before. Paul is the one who is safe. Naima and Thia are going home. Poor Lauren is crying her eyes out. I am surprised that Thia is leaving but expected that Naima’s time was up.

Their goodbye montages are blended together with the David Cook song, which makes it a bit confusing. These two gals are so different from each other - the teen pageant-bot and the mom of two. Naima has lightening and African drums. Thia has pretty prom dresses and smiles through sad songs. Both are lovely ladies who will continue to live their dreams. Holding on well to their dignity, they get hugs from everyone as Ryan says goodnight.

Quote:

(Lauren tumbles down the stairs.) Lady: Are you all right? Lauren: No, but it’s definitely gonna be on TV. Lady: Good times, American Idol.

Next week, the final nine contestants will be performing songs from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Another tried and (hopefully) true theme that they always do. For now, I am planning my Idol-inspired lunch tomorrow!

Elton, Bennie, Marilyn, and the Top 11 Redux

2011-03-30T23:20:00.100-04:00

We are reminded for approximately one hundred years that last week’s results show was THE BEST EVER, and that Casey Abrams received the one and only Judges’ Save of the season. On one hand, the whole concept of “the save” seems to be the equivalent of the show saying to voters: “Your choices are stupid. We are now going to right your wrong, America.” However, since My Kid Tru and I adore the lovable "lumberjack" camp counselor bass-playing rascal, we are very glad that the save was used. Does that make me a hypocrite? Probably. Do I care? Nope. I just hope that Casey will take the judges’ advice to just shut up and SING. But I digress because there are …

NO MORE SECOND CHANCES. PERIOD.

The judges arrive and no one told Steven that it’s too early in the season for white slacks. The jolly ol' rocker doesn’t care. Ryan is sporting a new hairdo that makes him looks like a grown-up. I don’t think I like that!

Here comes Top 11 Night, the Sequel. The singers will be performing songs from the catalog of Sir Elton John Himself. When I was a little girl, I remember going to my cousin’s house and listening to Elton John albums. The pictures of him on the inside of the album liner were too confusing for my 12-year-old brain to comprehend back then, but I really did enjoy his music.

The Sir’s video montage explains to us that Elton John paved the way for other flamboyant artists, some who get a mention – Lady GaGa, as well as some who don’t – Boy George. Wait. Are they the same person? Anywho… in seasons past, we would have Mr. John here himself to provide a mentor/coach role to the contestants. However, that must not be in the budget this year because we have Jimmy I. and his team of super producers on hand instead. Allll season.

It is ridiculous how thrilled I am to see two of my favorite things combined – American Idol and Entertainment Weekly. I have subscribed to this magazine for years; they are the only celebrity rag that I will read. I like them because they are snarky and they don’t fawn over the rich and famous people that they cover. Plus they are great fans of the Whedon-verse, especially Buffy and Firefly, my two favorite shows of all time. (Next to Idol of course. But not really.)

So EW and AI got together and did a photo shoot with the top 11 contestants, then the editing folks had a field day doing the before-and-after “spin shots.” This is going to be great! I am such a sucker for this makeover stuff. Best of all, they look like they are having a blast.

The first one singing tonight in the fabled “spot of doom” is a safe choice – our hometown boy Scotty. The EW stylists give him a cool hairdo but it doesn’t last long. Scotty is thrilled that Elton had that one country song called “Country Comfort.” Jimmy mentions that some asshats call Scotty a “one trick pony” but when your pony is full of awesome, that is a-ok! I’ve never heard this song but Scotty does it well with his guitar. He gives a sweet shout-out to his grandma. Garner boys really do love their grannies; that is not fake. The crowd goes wild at that last low note and his family is rightfully proud of him. All of the judges like Scotty, his boots, his granny, and his performance. We learn his guitar is named Scarlett, and I learn that Scotty might just be the one to bring me back to listening to country.

Next up is Naima and Ryan has already forewarned us that she will be turning a classic EJ song into reggae swag. Not sure what that means. Naima is a natural at the photo shoot; she has a supermodel figure and looks glamorous. She is glad to be doing “flashy funky” Elton John’s “I’m Still Standing” because she by-golly can connect to the lyrics. Jimmy encourages her to incorporate that same “still standing” lyric and apply it to the entire world. Unfortunately, she decides to use a fake Jamaican accent during her intro. So now she’s like Madonna when she thought she was British that time. I am not digging this performance from Naima as much as her others, but you have to give her credit for being original. The judges don’t really get it either. Randy even thought it was corny but Naima doesn’t care.

Ryan announces this year’s songwriting contest “Perfect Harmony.” The real British “hitmaker” Taio Cruz is “only gonna break break your break break your heart” with writing the lyrics and needs our help. I think we can do better, yes? Ludacris!

We already knew that Paul is a seasoned performer and has been in bands for years. He talks about sharing a van with 14 other guys and being poor. He is so gorgeous in the face and when he smiles, yowsa! Paul is doing an acoustic version of “Rocket Man,” and we can only hope that it’s better than that "Pencil Salesman Guy" from season 3. For the first time since Paul sang the duet with Kendra in Vegas, I actually like his voice. However, he is wearing that Rose Garden suit again. Has he not heard the rule about celebrities not ever repeating an outfit? He promises to retire it, thankfully. (I read on the ‘net that he paid 4500 bucks for it.) The judges talk to him for approximately one hundred years about how not being on pitch is a good thing. Okay. And Ryan is the funniest guy on television next to Joel McHale.

At the photo shoot, Pia is a natural because she is already beautiful and they don’t have to do much make-overing with her. I cannot BELIEVE that she is doing another ballad, especially after last week’s beat down. However if the country boy can keep with his "one trick" then I guess our resident balladeer can do the same, yes? Stick with what you know. But what we know is that “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me” has been covered on the show by everyone from Clay to Bo to Archuleta. (Sorry Iovine, neither Fergie nor Axel Rose would ever cover this song.) Pia does a great job as always, looks great as always, judges love her as always. The difference this time is that she gets the full choir onstage. Randy and ST almost come to blows over the whole “don’t do ballads” command that has now been renounced.

Ryan reminds us that yes, American Idol IS still the number one show on television. Take that Dancing with the D-list!

Next up is Stefano, and this is one young guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. He is funny during the photo shoot with the “tight pants.” Then in the studio, he is intense and focused on getting the song “Tiny Dancer” just right. He performs worlds better than he did last week. When I hear this song I remember Kate Hudson on the tour bus with the young Cameron Crowe guy and they all started singing, including the guy who would eventually be Earl Hickey. Good movie! Then one of the funniest things ever on the show – Randy interrupting the “tender hand holding” of Stef and J.Lo. Jen has Jimmy Choos older than this boy so I suppose that makes it okay to flirt? They talk to Stefano forever and a day about how glad they are that he opened his eyes for once. Hopefully no more bottom three for this boy!

In the audience - Howie! I liked him on Deal or No Deal and he was a great substitute judge for the Hoff on America’s Got Talent last year. He’s here tonight to promote his new show Mobbed. Howie does an amusingly hyper plug to Stefano’s dad who just happens to be his doppelganger. Mr. Langone is also a natural; I wonder if he is an actor. I don’t get the whole “flash mob” thing though. One more item to add to the list of Things I Just Don’t Get.

Pretty teenager Lauren was thrilled to do a professional photo shoot this week. I wonder why they used a dress from the Baby Hookers - R- Us closet though. That’s so Ho’wood. Tonight she is singing “Candle in the Wind,” the one about Marilyn Monroe, not Princess Diana. Her voice is beautiful, the best ever, but she doesn’t seem to connect to the lyrics or tragedy of the song. And Jimmy, Rodney, Tricky, Ricky Bobby, Tom Cruise, Oprah, SOMEBODY please tell these kids to NOT smile while singing sad songs! Thank you. Lauren’s wearing a dress that’s short in the front and long in the back – the clothing equivalent of a mullet. Teasing her about her short dress was cute and all, but hello. Hot Legs Haley 2.0 lost her entire PANTS last week but that was okay? They all love Lauren's performance, but she has a complex now.

There are many things to like about James - he is energetic, funny and has an outgoing personality. His Asperger’s does not seem to affect his interaction with the other contestants and he definitely is not inhibited onstage. Tonight he is doing “Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting” and by-golly he is going to do it his way, JIMMY! He starts out in the audience, boogies on down Taylor Hicks style, then hits the stage. All while singing, mostly in tune. I like how he interacts with the guitar player. There is some mic stand tossing action and piano jumping, then the thing catches fire. Literally! He is also rocking a wild faux-hawk. Just like us, the judges felt like they were at a Durbin concert; it was one of the best rocking-out acts ever on the show. But poor James; his comment about a "Pepsi moment" almost caused a riot.

Teeny tiny Thia is embracing her “celebrity feel moment” and she enjoys getting dolled up by EW. She looks like a living doll already. Her Elton John choice is “Daniel,” the heartbreaking song about a young man coming home from Vietnam. Thia relates this song to when her brother left home for college. Okay. Jimmy tells her to stop being a pageant-bot for the love of Daniel! And stop smiling through sad songs. She starts singing and instead of dozing off, I go to youtube and watch one of her performances there. Thia has “the spark” but she is just not using it on American Idol for whatever reason. At least she is doing better than some of those auto-tuned girls who are getting their fifteen minutes of fame, as well as a taste of cyber-bullying. The judges seem to think that Thia’s time on the show is up. I doubt it but we shall see.

Here to redeem himself in our eyes - it's Casey, everybody. Will he ever live that whole “save” thing down? I hope the heck so. Can this be the last week we talk about it please? Jimmy gives Casey a well-deserved beat down and one of the other producers, Rodney, tells him to shave that Big Foot beard off his face. So it’s off to the barber shop for Casey. Like he makes most things, this is a comical scene. He looks great too; I was hoping that he would get the “Seth Rogen in Green Hornet” makeover and they came pretty close! Tonight Casey sings “Your Song” and it’s beautiful, gentle, humble, and restrained. He seems to be thrilled with himself for getting through an entire song without growling or spazzing. The judges are proud of him and glad he is still on the show. My Kid Tru and I say thank you to the judges and to Casey.

So it must be said folks - Jacob is a diva. He has a Tyra-like quality to him that just makes me giggle. He enjoyed the photo shoot and I hope they let him keep that watch. He is going to do “Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word” which is a song he knows from Mary J. Blige. And wow look who just happened to pop by the studio? The “Family Affair” matriarch herself. As Mr. Lusk says, that was “bananas.” Now there will "no hateration in this dancery," even though poor ousted Robbie Rosen just did this song a few weeks ago. Producer Tricky tells him not to add “drama” but that is telling the sun not to shine in July. Has anyone noticed that Jacob looks like Rerun, only much skinnier? The judges are “slayed” as they always are with “the reverend.” Randy wants even more “gas in the tank.” Premium or unleaded?

At the photo shoot, Haley is more gorgeous than ever as she adorably squees over red nail polish. Her “dreams are coming true” and she is delightful during the interview. In the studio, she sounds good singing “Bennie and the Jets.” Jimmy wants her to take all of the parts of Haley, put them in the car and drive them to the show. Okay. Tonight on stage, she is like a little girl doing an impression of Michelle Pfeiffer in the Fabulous Baker Boys. She starts off lounged across the piano, then somewhat awkwardly wiggles down. There is nothing clumsy about her singing though; she is spot on, doesn’t miss a note. And for once I can understand the words she’s singing. The judges are thrilled with her, finally! Randy called it the “best performance of the night” and it was pretty close. Am glad she got the pimp spot tonight.

Recap time and Ryan gives a shout out to the piano player. He and the judges remind America to VOTE. “Do the right thing now!” Randy advises.

Quotes:

Ryan: So what do you have to do? Taio Cruz: Not much as usual.

Jimmy: He’s not going to get away with just his smile tonight.

Randy: The next elevator of love!

Jennifer: These guys, don’t even listen to ‘em, don’t look at ‘em.

Steven: You keep singing like that and you’ll be able to afford the rest of that dress.

James: That was my face. That was pretty awesome!

Steven: You go where no man can go, just don’t be up there too long, or you’ll end up like me.

Jimmy: You know what was wrong with that performance? Everything!

Casey: Thanks for holding me up. Ryan: It’s my job.

As the night progressed, I remembered that there was an Elton John theme back during Fantasia’s season, and The Sir was the mentor. I wonder if he will make a surprise appearance tomorrow night. We know that Fantasia will be in the Idol House. Somebody else is coming too but I only care about her, really. Idol Alumni for the win!

Shenanigans from Uncle Nigel?

2011-03-26T12:33:00.006-04:00

Thursday night’s results show was a roller coaster ride for sure. Producer Nigel Lythgoe tweeted earlier that day that there would be a shocking outcome. Ryan told us more than once to expect the unexpected and at one point even said to be sure we kept watching until the very end of the show. Foreshadowing much?

Perhaps Ryan said that to encourage Casey fans to not turn off the TV when the announcement of the grizzled contestant’s ousting was made. As Idol fans now know, Casey received the one Judges’ Save of the year. The question now is – was this for real or an elaborate scheme to score ratings?

Because I am jaded, I want to immediately call bullshizz, however my “rose-colored glasses” side wants me to accept it and move on. Since I am one of those obsessed fans that reads everything about Idol that I can get my eyes on, I know that Casey has a huge fan base. The online polls have never shown him in the bottom three, much less the one leaving.

Additionally, since the results show, chatter on the ‘net has shown that about 75% of fans support the judges for their decision to give the save to Casey. Of this ¾ of the poll-voting population, half of them are Casey fans who said they just got complacent and didn’t vote because they felt he was a shoo-in. Call it the “Daughtry Syndrome.”

At any rate, Casey now has a chance to get back to the way he was when he was first introduced on the show. His renditions of “Georgia on My Mind” and the Jessica Rabbit song are proof that he is one of the most talented singers in the competition this year. He doesn’t need to do the faux-rocker sets that come across as unintentionally comical. Give him back his stand-up bass and let him do his thang.

As far as his looks go, a lot of fans are saying that they hope he gets a makeover. My Kid Tru and I have adored Casey from the beginning, and his looks have nothing to do with it. In his first audition, Casey said that he was compared to Seth Rogan a lot. I am sure that he was referring to the Knocked Up version of this actor. Perhaps he will surprise us with Seth’s re-made Green Hornet style. That would be many levels of awesome.

If "Uncle Nigel" did set us all up, that's okay. It was a great show from start to finish, from the surprise visit by Stevie Wonder to the One Save. We're not sure how they will top that episode, but one thing is for sure - we will be tuned in!

It’s Results Night - “Where You At?”

2011-03-24T23:03:00.045-04:00

Some random thoughts that I had while waiting for the show to begin tonight… the songs on last night’s performance show made me nostalgic enough to break out my Linda Ronstadt collection of Greatest Hits. She did some great Motown covers. Linda was my singing Idol when I was growing up and I love her to this day. One of my best childhood memories was seeing her in concert when I was fifteen. But I digress because …

“No one is safe… Expect the unexpected.” Nice intro with the records. Some younger folks won’t know what those things are. I can hear it now… “Mom, why are those CDs so big and how do I get a cool label like that?”

Last night we saw some Motown… Casey knows that a man ain’t supposed to cry, Thia feels this burning pain, Jacob threw his pride away for us, Lauren just wants to make a new start, Stefano wonders where we are and what we do, Haley doesn’t like you but she loves you, Scotty can go unafraid where life leads him, Pia thinks love’s a crazy game, Paul might be laughin’ loud and hearty, Naima is ready for a brand new beat, James was born in hard-time Mississippi.

Hark the judges’ arrival to the stage… Is Cleopatra J.Lo the prettiest person on this or any other planet? I am thinking yes.

Ryan tells us that country super group Sugarland will be performing tonight as well as “Idol’s own” Jennifer Hudson. He says to expect lots of shocking surprises this evening. As we all know, tonight determines which ten singers will participate in the summer tour.

The top 11 come out and they are dressed like they’re at Idol Gives Back. All of them are as gorgeous as can be. This is just a night for eye candy all the way around. Lauren is rocking the cocktail dress /cowgirl boot combo.

We find out that Jen’s husband Marc Anthony worked with the contestants this week, to help them learn how to sing better live. He explains to them (and to us) how to use the in-ear monitor. Since the singers sounded 99% better last night than they did last week, then hurray to Mr. Anthony for his help. They should totally let him stick around.

For the group sing-a-long the top 11 do “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” and I’m more impressed each week by these kids. The choreography is still corny but that is what these things are made of. Reverend Lusk takes everybody to church.

Then! The big Idol door opens and the contestants make way for … a surprise visit from Stevie Wonder! He sings “Signed Sealed Delivered,” then everyone joins in for a “Happy Birthday” surprise for Steven T. Now I want cake. (Hopefully someone tells the 63-year-old that he doesn't look "a day over fabulous!") ST seems blown away by the festivities, and he and his mis-matched scarves are “speechless!” I have to admit this show is bringing a tear to my eye. So much love for it!!

So I read on the web that the contestants have had to vacate the Idol mansion because it’s “haunted.” There have been reports of flickering lights, floating sheets, and a spider invasion. (Of course the source is shaky; I won’t say who but it starts with a T and ends with a Z with an M in the middle.)

The Ford music video is for the Hybrid and for the third week in a row, they do a song I’ve never heard before "All this Beauty," set in the rain. They make this one a combination of car commercial/PSA for recycling/rain gear ad.

Now for the "tough part" with some dimming lights … Lauren, Pia, and Scotty are called to center stage first. Ryan teases them about packing bags, but it’s all good and they are all safe. Somebody gets a bleep.

Sugarland is up next and I don’t know much about country music anymore; they’re doing a song called “Stuck Like Glue.” I have a friend whose little grandson adores them. The lead singer is blonde and pretty and wears every neon color of the rainbow all together in one outfit. Did she borrow from Olivia Newton-John’s aerobics-wear closet circa 1981? She has a great voice and there's an interesting interlude in the middle of the song. Must google them ... I like this one better.

I realize it’s filler, but I like the segment on results night that features the contestants being interviewed. This week it’s all about James being a wrestling fan. Then there’s a clip of James and Paul having a fake wrestling match, with Naima as emcee and Pia as either referee or another opponent. It’s hilarious and nice to see them having fun, and good to see Pia come out of her shell a little. James says “eat your heart out Hulk Hogan” and Paul body slams him. LOLz!

Fun time is over as they dim the lights again and bring Paul and James to the stage. Ryan says that neither of them are safe. And he is dead serious. Because! The big Idol door opens again and it’s Hulk Hogan! Challenge accepted Durbs! Hulk tells James and Paul that they are indeed safe, but poor Ryan gets a faux punch and toss into the audience. I don’t even want to think about Hogan’s shirt ripping; that was just too gross.

This was a fun and entertaining skit, but the only thing that bothered me about it is that Stefano also mentioned in his interview that Hogan was his favorite. He’s over on the bench though, probably thinking “where’s my tee shirt?”

Next to come to the front are Jacob, Thia, and Stefano. Jacob is sent to the top ten right away, yes Lord! Thia and Stefano are both in the bottom 3. The crowd is not pleased with this news.

Now Naima, Haley, and Casey come on down. Naima and her gigantic ring are safe, yay! I know I've said it a thousand times - her iTunes downloads are awesome. Haley has already accepted the fact that she’s getting a stool. (Remember Kristy Lee Cook and her sticky note? Good times.) But! Ryan reveals that it’s actually Casey in the bottom 3. Surprise. Gasp. Dismaying moans from the crowd. So the “shock” that Nigel tweeted about earlier today is actually happening. Yikes.

While we ponder this mystery, the amazing Jennifer Hudson is up next. Ryan reminds us that she is an Oscar winner, SIMON! She was terrific in one of my favorite movies The Secret Life of Bees, and she is coming this-close to inspiring me to join WW. Tonight she looks gorgeous and is doing her new single “Where You At?” (which is a very common text message question, I do believe.) JHud proves that you CAN sing a slow song without being a snoozefest. (Thia and Pia, please take notes.) After her performance, we learn that George Huff is one of her back-up singers. He was one of my favorites in season three.

Speaking of texting, I quickly text My Kid Tru that she needs to come to the living room please, because I need moral support! Why? Because Thia has been sent to safety and the bottom 2 are Casey and Stefano.

Tru says that she hasn’t been this p.o’d about a TV show since Chris Daughtry was voted off in season 5. I remember that episode and what happened afterward. (Looking back it all worked out best for Chris though.)

But that was then and here we are now and Ryan says words that I don’t believe. “The person with the lowest number of votes is ... Casey.” WTH for a million years, show? Stefano hugs Casey for so long that Ryan has to tell him to go sit down. And now Casey has to do the obligatory Sing for Your Life song and hope for a Judges' Save.

Casey opts to sing the song that he did for his first audition, something about needing a doctor, or not needing one, or something like that. Dang, I need one. Before he can get more than a few lines of the song in, Randy interrupts the band and they tell him to stop.

Holy shizz! The judges tell Casey that they know who he is; they don’t need to hear anymore. They realize that he has pulled some shenanigans over the past couple of weeks and maybe he’s alienated a few fans. But they are going to use their ONE save this season on him.

At this point, Casey is bowled over with astonishment and gratitude, plus I think he threw up in his mouth a little bit. I just about had a heart attack my own self. Casey thanks the judges and Ryan and a lot of bleeping ensues. When Casey goes to hug his mom and she says she loves him, that’s it for me. I am a sobbing mess!

Tru and I adore Casey and are still appalled that he was voted off. I follow at least a dozen AI websites and he has been at or near the top of all the online polls since the beginning. What is it with these “interwebs?” This data does not compute.

I almost want to call BS on this whole thing, but whether it’s truth or staged, the mission has been accomplished. Hopefully Casey will listen to the advice that mama Jen so lovingly provides and dial it down a notch. They want him to bring back the musician they heard back in Hollywood week when he was at his most awesome. We just hope that he doesn’t change his Fraggle Rock meets Fozzy Bear level of adorableness. That would be a shame.

Next week, the bad news is that there will be two folks going home. The good news is that the tour this summer will consist of the Top 11. So they all get to go, and based on their work last night, this is great news.

Best quote from tonight:

Marc (when Jen told a contestant that she is not usually speechless): That’s the biggest truism she has ever uttered… just kidding.

I am going to de-stress by listening to Dr. Dre’s “I Need a Doctor” about a zillion times. If I’m still living, I’ll be watching next week. Chatter on the 'net says that the theme will be Elton John songs. But that 'net is not trustworthy as we learned tonight!

The Top 11 Keep Us Hanging On as They Track through Motown City

2011-03-23T23:04:00.070-04:00

It’s been a sad few days here on the home front because we lost a beloved pet. Rest in peace to our German Shepherd, Soldier - ten years was not long enough. My Kid Tru is still broken-hearted and not really into Idol right now.

Ryan starts the show in black and white then it quickly morphs like the wonderful land of Oz into color. It’s Motown Night, wow surprise. I don’t think they’ve done this one. (I need a sarcasm font.) Expect lots of repeat-o songs because they do Motown every season.

The judges are lovely as always and take forever to walk from stage to judges' table. Jennifer is a pretty ballerina Barbie doll come to life.

Ryan reminds us that this summer there will be a tour but only ten can go. Tonight is very important because the last one standing will not get to go on the tour and will miss out on a lot of cool things like making money and having panties thrown at them.

We see a background about Motown and Berry Gordy who started this legacy with 800 bucks and a dream. A blend of R&B and soul, awesome music with real singing. Not an autotune in sight for this musical era.

Ryan teases Randy about being old, but thankfully he doesn’t call Jen out on her blue eyeshadow. (J.Lo, 1970s called and said thank you for the comeback.)

The crowd goes completely wild for Steven Tyler to his delight. His lovely daughter Liv is in the audience. Always and forever known to us as the lovely elvin Arwen.

Okay Top 11. “Here we are now. Entertain us!” (Yes the Nirvana song is still stuck in my head from last week.) They sure are dapper-looking tonight indeed.

Casey looks less like Yukon Cornelius with his hair slicked back. They show him working with the producer and he sounds really good in the studio. He is doing that California Raisins song. Almost from the start we notice two things - he has lost a lot of weight, and he is not taking advice about dialing back the growl. The thing with Casey is that he is IN the moment and he feels it; he is a true performer. This is worlds better than the performance last week. This song has been done great (Fantasia) and poorly (that Chicken Little guy.) Casey works the crowd and has a complete orchestra backing him up on stage. ST loves his crazyass "out of control ego," Jen says he’s THE GUY and Randy says his YOU is great. Ryan teases him about the gal in the audience. (She looks 12.) It’s a fun, energetic way to start the show.

Shout out to some old Aerosmith dude, then Ryan introduces Thia. I found out this week that she was on America’s Got Talent a couple of years ago, so I watched some clips. She showed 1000 times more spunk and personality than she has on American Idol so far. Her performance of “I Am Changing” on AGT was excellent, resulting in Sharon Osborne giving her a standing ovation. Tonight she’s doing “Heat Wave” and though she’s not Linda Ronstadt, she has certainly stepped up her game. Compared to JHud and the fabulous Vonzell she is lacking though, and she noticeably flubs the lyrics a bit. The judges are thrilled that she is taking more chances, and it was very nice to see that she has had a “loosen up” chip installed. Yes I know I should STHU. Thia did fine tonight which is good because we are stuck with her.

In the audience - the actress who played in Bring it On and that vampire movie when she was a little girl, what is her name? Will google later.

I really do adore Jacob and am proud of him for freely admitting that he is a church-going boy. Jimmy is concerned that Jacob is going to go all melismatic on a Marvin Gaye song. We have to give props to the backup singers as they start the “All I Need to Get By” part gently. Jacob brings all of his tricks to this performance but he keeps it simple, for him. Jen is bouncing in her seat. This is definitely the best that I remember him doing, and I like his low-then-one-high note at the end. When he’s done, ST goes on stage to give him a hug and calls him Baby Luther. Randy loved it more than anything in ten years. It is really nice that he reeled it in and they are delighted. It’s especially sweet when he gets a hug from his grandma, then in a WTH moment, Ryan tells the whole front row to come up and hug him. Girls only!

Country gal Lauren is up next and she still lacks energy during her interview, but she's a goofball in the studio. Her producers picked “You Keep Me Hanging On,” and she relates this to how she’s not gonna let the negative chatter bring her down. Anti cyber-bullying. Reminder to America that she is just a child. And a very gorgeous one tonight - she looks like DJ Tanner at the prom. Lauren starts the song slowly then revs it up. Not as original as the Blake Lewis spin but good. She struts right out to sing to Randy but ignores ST completely. I guess she really does read the message boards and is listening. Thank you internet. This is the best I remember her doing and she is singing her heart out to those haters. Jen likes her attitude and Randy reminds us that the girl they loved in Nashville has her "swagger on high" tonight.

Ryan is on the chat stools with Stefano, or as he says SteFAno. The cute singer talks about his mom cooking for the group, and Ryan even gets garlicky leftovers. Watch out Ms. Langone, that mean cooking show guy is in the audience. Stef is thrilled at doing Motown as that is his niche, but why is he doing a song that’s brand new to him? Jimmy is concerned that Stef is going to go all Broadway on “Hello.” They should have retired this song after David Cook did it back in his very good day, as Ryan reminds us. He also reminds Stef to keep his eyes open. Stef stays true to the Lionel Ritchie version but he puts a boy-band spin on it. This guy has a great voice for sure, but it’s coming across as shallow as his chin hair. The judges notice this too (the disconnection, not the peach fuzz.) Jen lectures him for a thousand years about it.

Indeed, Ryan jokes with the British cooking show guy who is an asshat. Thankfully we quickly segue to a legend in a ball cap named Otis, who is impressed with the festivities so far.

We are reminded that Haley is a habitual bottom 3-er, but she says “young'en” in her interview clip and I am won over. In the studio she sounds great singing the Smokey Robinson song “You Really Got a Hold on Me.” Hopefully her confidence will be up since she is comfortable with this genre. I don’t recognize Haley at first because her hair is straight. Before the contemplation of hair irons, we must assess the outfit; it’s like a combination of head waiter and hooker. This is most definitely the best we’ve heard her sing; it was her “wheelhouse.” Randy is glad that she has finally got the growly-bluesy sound back and compares her to Janis Joplin. ST gives us an impromptu concert much to everyone’s delight. Jen says that she is the girl version of Jacob. Haley is thrilled with the praise and has a cute Sally Field moment.

On the chat stools with Ryan, we learn that Scotty can make a basketball shot from the 3rd floor window of the mansion. They have the footage to prove it. What in the world will Scotty do with Motown? Why he will do himself some Stevie Wonder and it will have a twang, but that is okay. Scotty is very mature in his interviews, such a likable young guy. Jimmy thinks that we will enjoy Scotty’s version of “For Once in My Life.” He starts out on the stairs and looks dashing in all black. He definitely puts a country spin on classic R&B, but he pours his heart into the song. The crowd goes wild at the last couple of low notes. ST compares him to Glen Campbell. Jen and Randy don’t think it was his strongest vocal; Randy is funny with his “lady killer note.” Ryan’s teasing goes over Scotty’s head, but that’s okay, he’s just a boy.

The Flashdance lady is in the audience. Then it’s time for Pia. I have been trying to figure out what it is about her that is just “off.” She is gorgeous, sings perfectly, she’s not bot-like, dresses well, she has a nice attitude. The whole package is wonderful, so why can’t I remember her from one minute to the next? Maybe I will get the answer tonight because she is doing a slow song, “All in Love is Fair.” On the plus side, she performs more heartfelt that Kat McPhee did back in her day. On the other hand, it’s a ballad. Again. By the time she sings that last note, it hits me that we are missing a key ingredient – she is not living the words that she’s singing. Steven is literally yawning. The judges really want more than BALLADS from her also, and they have confidence that she can bring it. I do also because I really like her.

We are reminded again how much we love Seacrest when he is all adorable with a little girl. Then he tells us that Paul will be playing guitar during his performance tonight. I am really glad that for one night there will be no two-step chicken-arm combo. Paul is doing “Tracks of My Tears.” I have always loved the Linda Ronstadt version of this best. With the guitar, Paul is definitely a sexier performer but his voice is still not growing on me yet. I keep going back to his website and listening to his original songs. The backup singers don’t really blend with him either. Maybe someday he can come back and visit the show with the Grand Magnolias. Randy admires Paul’s guitar more than anything but still thinks he’s cool. Dial down the quirk and bring us more tender. ST is reminded of everyone from Dylan to Nelson.

Ryan is thrilled that Randy hasn’t said the word “pitchy” yet tonight. They’ve all done really well, but we still have Naima. She is going to put an African spin on “Dancing in the Streets.” My favorite version of this is the Jagger/Bowie cheese fest. I have high hopes for Naima tonight and really hope she does well. Her recordings have sounded so much better than what she brings on stage. You can tell that she is concentrating more on staying in tune and she sounds better. Even in the horrid bell-bottom pantsuit, she brings pizzazz and is a natural performer. She saves her “look at me I’m dancing crazy” to the end when the African drums join her on stage. The judges are loving them some exciting Naima. Ryan compares it to a mash-up of Idol and Nigel’s dancing show. (Not the one with Kirstie Alley, the other one.)

James does a funny Dr. Evil “million dollars” face which makes me like this guy more. He gives his all while recording and working with the producers. His version of “Living for the City” by Stevie Wonder makes us forget that Taylor Hicks ever did this song. We’re glad that they saved this for last because James is a real showman. He brings just the right amount of soul, screech, and swagger to the stage. Jen OMGs for a hundred years as the crowd goes crazy. ST has the look of “wow that was me 100 years ago.” James really is "serious business" as Jen says. Then she and Randy argue about “pockets” or some such. ST likes that James is crazy because that is what it takes to nail this competition sometimes. Go Durbs!

The recap reminds us that it was forever and a day ago that the show began. I do believe that this was one of the best episodes I’ve ever seen of American Idol. Not a single contestant totally blew it. I can tell it was good because my puppy did not flee the room in terror even once! Jennifer gave excellent and useful critique to everyone tonight. And not a single Paula-ish "seal clap."

Quotes galore from tonight:

ST (about Motown music): It made me want to make out with girls.

Randy: The great Berry Gordy is somewhere saying “oh my God!”

ST: You ripped that song another beauty mark didn’t ya?

Ryan: I’m on a picnic.

Randy (to Stefano): Ryan and you, you know…

Ryan: Randy with all due respect we're gonna cut your mic off at this point.

ST: You don’t look a day over fabulous.

Ryan: Is the voice inside your head that low as well?

Ryan: It’s important that you see the couture, Randy.

Ryan (re Paul's pin): Cougar vote!

Based on tonight’s performances, there’s no one that should really go home tomorrow, plus they each have something special to bring to the tour. Even Ryan thinks so… I’m off to vote vote vote for my favorite folks!

So Far So Awesomely Good

2011-03-20T22:34:00.006-04:00

We are about halfway through Season 10, appropriately dubbed by Randy Jackson as “American Idol the Remix.” There’s a lot to like about the show this year - the things that have changed as well as what’s remained the same.

The new judges are simply great. Although Steven Tyler was way funnier and more exuberant during the audition rounds, he still makes for great entertainment. Jennifer Lopez has filled the “mama bear” role and seems to genuinely care for the contestants. Was some of the “drama” so far a little over-the-top? Well of course! That is part of why we watch, right?

I’ve been impressed with Randy Jackson this season, as he seems to have really stepped up his game during critique time. I find myself agreeing with him more and more. And what can we say about Ryan Seacrest except “never ever change buddy.” He is just as adorable without being obnoxious as ever.

Even the AI web site is better this year, with tons of information about each contestant. And thankfully, online voting is finally available.

My favorite contestant this year is Casey Abrams, he of the scruffy beard, stand-up bass and joyously ironic sense of humor. Everything about him seems like a mess but he makes it work somehow. I can’t wait to see what he will be up to next.

I also like James Durbin, the rocker with Tourette’s. He’s an impressive singer but hopefully he won’t let the hype go to his head too early.

The female singer that has grown on me this year is Pia Toscano. She has an excellent voice and hopefully will show more charisma in the coming weeks.

The most interesting gal still in the game is Naima, even though she is not the strongest singer. She has a funky sense of style and personality which makes her fun to watch.

Time will only tell what will happen in the coming weeks. I plan to be there every step of the way, so stop in for updates and commentary from Aunt Pearl and My Kid Tru!

Karen Rodriquez – the Next Latin American Sensation

2011-03-18T22:33:00.002-04:00

Karen’s claim to fame on American Idol this year was that she was the only MySpace auditioner to make it to the Top 24. From the very beginning the half-Peruvian, half-Dominican singer has shown fierce pride in her Latin heritage, often singing in Spanish or “Spanglish.”

Ms. Rodriquez made it clear from the start that she is a big fan of Jennifer Lopez and the late Selena. She often sang Jen and Selena songs during the competition. However, it was a Taylor Dayne song that ended her run on the show this year. Karen is pleased with the support that Jen has shown her this season and has enjoyed learning from the producers.

From Karen’s exit interviews, we learn more about the “Latin-American crossover artist.” Karen and Pia attended the NY School of Performing Arts together, and Karen has also been in music classes in Italy and L.A. Jacob was her “rock” during the competition; they would often go to each other for advice.

She will continue a career in music but would also like to do commercials and movies, especially voice-over work. She wants to be known as “the next Latin Sensation, crossover English-American-Hispanic artist.”

Karen has been called the “twitter queen” because she has been very responsive to fans. She is proud of fans tweeting her that they love her version of Selena’s “I Could Fall in Love,” and that they are buying it on iTunes.

“Every song I chose was a song I wanted to sing. I’m very proud of making it this far,” Karen says and has no regrets for any of the choices she made on the show. She doesn’t feel that she lost votes by singing in Spanish. She adds, “I went up there, and I always sang from my heart… I’m just very happy I got a chance to be as free as I was.”

To learn more about Karen, visit her official American Idol page.

Who is Gonna “Stop Stop Stop Running?”

2011-03-17T23:13:00.011-04:00

The episode starts with heretofore unseen footage of contestants confessing what they used to want to be when they grow up. We hear everything from journalist to veterinarian. Some of these should have stuck with those dreams. Because -

AMERICA HAS SPOKEN

Recap from last night – Naima wants a sweet old-fashioned notion, Paul has pneumonia and the blues, Thia sings with all the voices of the mountains, James will live and die for you, Haley has given you everything, Stefano will never never never know by now, Pia will find her broken hearted way home, Scotty doesn’t want to go too far, Karen will lead you back where you belong, Casey feels stupid and contagious, Lauren will walk across a fire for you, Jacob got by on his own 'til now.

One of the twelve will be going home tonight. Or will they? Perhaps they will get the Judges Save. (Doubtful.)

Don’t forget to text donations to the American Red Cross for Japan. I’ve helped by downloading the iTunes versions of all the songs from last night, even the crappy ones. I got last week’s songs also and have been listening to them in my car. Some of them are super good and should be on the radio today.

Ryan greets the audience with an Irish accent. Silly Seacrest - tricks are for kids. We love you though. We get to see a baby picture of Lee DeWyze, last year’s Idol champ. I didn’t watch at all last year but have seen a couple of performances on MJs Big Blog and Rickey.org. They are my favorite AI web sites - lots of great info there. I probably would have rooted for Crystal Bowersox last year.

We also see baby pics of the BEPs and they are Grammy winners, so don’t be hatin.’ My Kid Tru doesn’t like them. I don’t think that they are the worst that the music biz has to offer. That one song “I Gotta Feeling” is my “feel good” song. It just makes me smile every time I listen to it.

It’s time for our top 12 to do the weekly group number; it sounds like they have a mixture of recorded and live singing. The medley starts out as “Born to be Wild,” changes to “Born this Way,” then it’s a hodge-podge of both. I liked the Gaga song a whole lot better when it was called “Express Yourself” by Madonna, but that is another discussion for another time. The kids do a good job with this mash-up and they are obviously having a blast. Pointy Poses Forever!!

The Ford music video is for a song called “Val Kilmer” that I’ve never heard. There are some funny scenes – Lauren tied to a chair is a dream come true for a lot of folks, heh. Jacob gets to be a TV journalist, like he said in the interview at the beginning of the show. I think that Durbs was a serial killer in “the movie.” Stefano and Haley are paired romantically and the crowd goes awwwwww.

Because it’s the 10^th anniversary of the show, there is a compilation CD coming out. Ryan makes like Oprah and tells the audience that there’s a copy under everyone’s seat. They cheer and pretend that they don't already have these songs on their iPods.

New interviews are next, this time to learn more about “what defines our Idols.” Scotty is a cut-up, Karen is adorable in any language, Thia is a bot which we knew, Jacob is a self-described square, Casey is a moon walker, and the girls that aren’t Lauren like to make fun of her accent. There are other things but the most important is we learn that if you say "shih tzu" on Idol you will get bleeped. WTH??

It’s time to dim the lights but instead Irish Kieran goes with a green glow and a St. Patrick’s Day motif. Love! My entire cube at work is decorated in green.

First to be brought forth are Jacob, Lauren, and Casey. We’re glad that Casey is back on the show and in good health. Ryan gets the judges to talk about pitch and whatnot for one thousand years, then sends Jacob back to safety. In case no one was listening, Lauren was sick last night and can’t be held accountable for any adverse actions. That is how it is with too many kids today. Not responsible. The teen is sent to the couch. We think that Ryan is trying to rupture Casey’s ulcer again, as he demands an explanation from Steven for last night’s comment about GOOP. It’s a newsletter by Gwyneth Paltrow RYAN. Tell Casey he is safe already. Bless his heart, he finally does.

Next to walk the plank – Haley and Paul. Haley is wearing short-shorts from the J.Lo collection. Please Haley, if you make it, don’t go Scarnato on us, ‘kay? At least she promises to sing better. Paul seems to be wearing the same shirt as Randy. He says he’s been taking meds for his wretched performance last night. The alt/indie Paul is safe and Haley is bottom 3 again.

In the audience tonight is the bald guy from J.Lo’s new music video and also her hubby. And some guy who looks like Kenny Rogers but isn’t. (We know this because the real Kenny’s been botoxed beyond recognition.)

Seeing this Lee DeWyze guy makes me wish I’d watched last year. The critics call last season the very worst of all, but if Lee is any indication it must not have been too bad. His song is called “Beautiful Like You” and it’s pleasant enough. Ryan chats with Lee and he tells the contestants that no matter what happens on the show, they should keep going with their music.

Ryan reminds the booing audience that Haley is B3 because of their votes. Next to learn their fate are Scotty, Pia, and James. When Ryan asks Scotty if he was singing for a special lady, he glances to the couches but quickly catches himself. Hmmm. He’s safe. Pia stands there waiting her turn and I can’t help but think that she is one nose job away from looking like a total movie star. My Kid Tru thinks that Pia gives out a “better-than-you-ness” vibe but I disagree. No matter, she’s safe. Which leaves us with Durbin – I wonder if James is totally letting the hype go to his head. Maybe it’s an act to go along with his rocker vibe. He’s safe, so we can only hope he dials the arrogance (faux or not) down a notch. Both Steven and his Falcon Crest blouse are HIGH-larious tonight.

When Stefano and Naima are brought to the stage, it’s evident from body language that they are both tense. Jen starts to flirt with Stef but perhaps realizes that her hubby is a few rows back, whoops. Naima gives a bit of “tude” about being called pitchy all the dang time. When Naima is sent to the B3 stools, Stef pulls her back for a hug. This makes me and Tru go “awwww.”

Karen and Thia are next. Will it be warm and funny Karen or the contestant who defines robotic pageant T1000 blandness? They are both super gorgeous tonight, but it’s the Bot that’s safe. Karen is sent to the B3 group. Thia will be in the competition for the long haul. Think Jasmine Trias the Sequel or Ramiele Malubay Part 2. At least Thia has a better voice than Ramiele, so that’s a plus.

The Black Eyed Peas are premiering their new song called “Just Can’t Get Enough” and they say it’s about love and dedicate it to their Friends in Japan. Silly BEPs, this song is totally about s.e.x. Like most of their songs, the guys are auto-tuned and Fergie is the only one who really sings (somewhat.) I usually like her performances, but tonight she looks like a fembot from the Austin Powers movies. The green fingernails must be in honor of St Pat’s day. By the time they get to the “switch-up” part, I’m bored and go raid the freezer for a Klondike bar. The things we do for one!

Reminder - text RedCross 90999 to donate. Reminder number next – bottom three are Haley, Naima, and Karen. Sent to safety first is Naima. Karen is the one who will do the Sing for Your Life One More Time. Why do they put these kids through this agony? They won’t use the save this early in the contest.

Karen sings “Hero” and without the evening gown, she is less pageant-like than when she did this song before. Will the contestant that looks like Jennifer’s younger sister get another chance to be voted off again next week? Randy says NO and that it wasn’t unanimous. I didn’t know he knew big words like that. Jen is piiiiiiiisssssssed!

We see the montage of Karen’s adventures on Idol and she is like a grown-up Dora the Explorer. She represented “her people” well but it’s hasta la vista to the New York beauty. David Cook reminds everyone “don’t forget about her” in song. (Have I mentioned yet today how much I love David Cook? Next to Nathan Fillion, I love him more than any other celebrity.)

Quotes:

Scotty: My brains weren’t astronaut material.

Lauren: I speak one language. And that’s … Spanish.

Next week the final 11 contestants will sing Motown songs. Just once I’d like to see them do “themes not used on the show before.” So not gonna happen.

Smells Like the Top 12 Have the Blues

2011-03-16T23:51:00.036-04:00

We are reminded that the world is full of tragedy, but we can help. The judges and Ryan explain how. When you download the iTunes performances from tonight’s show, the proceeds will go to the American Red Cross relief fund for the disaster in Japan.

Also terrible – a flu bug has hit the Idol Mansion and almost everyone is sick. The jaded side of me is thinking that this happens every year, right around this time. What is it with St. Patrick’s Day and ill AI contestants? They seem to go hand in hand. Allergy season maybe?

It is very difficult to sing with a cold that is for sure. I’ve had to cancel church solos a few times because I didn’t want to praise the Lord by sounding like a howling dog. So I have to give creds for these guys and gals trying tonight.

I think we are actually "live" tonight, the first of the performance eps so far. We are reminded that the voters and judges sent Ashthon back home to Tennessee last week. Random thought: has anyone else noticed that Steven looks like he could be Susan Lucci’s older sister?

Tonight’s theme is a familiar one – Songs From Birth Year. We should expect some 80s and 90s Whitney Houston and who knows what else this evening. Also – baby pictures galore and interviews with proud moms and dads.

First up is Naima, the “exotic flower” and after seeing her adorable parents it’s clear where she gets her fashion sense. Tonight she’s doing Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got to Do With It” from 1984. With help from the producers she will put a modern spin on it. Probably not with lightening this week though. It sounds like they added a drum beat to the forefront; Naima doesn’t sing the song perfectly but it’s okay. She is one of those singers who sounds 100 times better on the recorded versions; I’ve played last week’s “Umbrella” over and over. ST’s only concern is that Naima has been shopping in his Dynasty closet, but Jen isn’t having any more of that pitchiness mess. Randy agrees, although he gives props to the musicians for letting the beat rock. Naima promises to get her pitch together if it’s not too late.

Paul’s parents tell us that he has always been the center of attention and that he has always been gorgeous. They have no idea where he gets his “it” factor. Paul was born in 1984 so he’s doing Elton John’s “I Guess that’s Why They Call it the Blues.” Jimmy I. begs him to please bring his full voice to the stage. And less chicken arm maybe. Not so much, Paul replies. My Kid Tru and I disagree about Paul; she loves him. I think he’s pretty but sounds Like Macy Gray on helium, and she already sounds like she’s been sucking on a balloon so that is really redundant. As Paul says “right on.” Per twitter-land the kids could use instruments tonight and I wish Paul had done that. The judges still love him but call him on pitch issues. Randy’s confused by ST’s “cool dude in a loose mood” statement. Ryan won’t explain.

The fact that Thia was born in 1995 makes Ryan giggle. Maybe because “born” isn’t the right word, it should be “assembled.” Thia’s parents are cute even though her mom is the only one who talks. Thia is proud that she wrote a song when she was six. The memory should be vivid since it was last week. It stands to reason that Thia would be doing “Colors of the Wind” because she looks like Pocahontas. As with most of Thia’s performances, it’s nap time. Before she even gets to the “blue corn moon” part, we’re snoozing. While the audience boos, Randy tries to explain how boring this Disney crap is, but her fans just aren’t having it. Nice aunts ST and Jen try to further explain, and hopefully she will compute this data. Nice shout out to Peggi Blu, the “vocal coach from hell” who is actually very nice per Thia Bot.

On the chat stools Ryan mentions that big stars are in the audience then totally embarrasses Kate Hudson. James discusses the band that he’s formed with other contestants. His sweet mom talks about what a cheeseball ham James was when he was a kid. He was the cutest toddler ever, singing to his dolls. Tonight he’s doing a Bon Jovi song from 1989 called “I’ll Be There for You.” Avatar fans will be glad that he has the Na’vi-like scarf back, but he isn’t singing his best on stage. He is another one who sounds a lot better on the recorded version. The judges are totally buying what The Durbs is selling and don’t really call him on his pitch problems. James has already placed himself, dog-collar-cuffed boots and “inner crazy” in the finale. Good thing he reminded everyone he’s already taken. (Insert eye roll here.)

We learn that Haley was born on 9/9/90 at 9 AM, and she looks exactly like her mom. Her parents sing in a blues band and we hear a snippet of them doing “Black Velvet.” I wish she was doing that instead of Whitney’s “I’m Your Baby Tonight.” Jimmy I. warns Haley about her work ethic; wonder what THAT was about. Haley looks pretty in red but this song is not a good choice for her. She is parts nasally and howly and we can’t understand a single word she shrieks except “baby.” Funny how Jen starts her lecture with “baby” also. Yikes, smeared red lipstick is gross and Ryan can’t stand it anymore! At least this is a good distraction from the judges trying to explain to Haley about how confusing it is that every week she does something totally different. Why can’t she be more like Janis Joplin or by golly her own parents?

Stefano still looks like a baby in the face, and we learn from his lovely parents that he has always been musical. I am glad that they don’t talk about the car accident again or I would be bawling! After making fun of everyone from Tone Loc to NKOB, Stefano decides to do the 1989 Simply Red version of “If You Don’t Know Me By Now.” This song stands out for me because I remember that both Carrie and A-Fed sang this on the same night back in season four. (Tru wishes that I would use my limited memory cells for more important things.) We like Stefano but his sarcasm in the clip was off-putting. At least he sings practically perfectly until that last yikes-filled note. The crowd goes so wild that Randy can barely name-drop Teddy Pendergrass. “10-10-10” indeed and courtesy of ST, the new word of the day is “famouser.”

According to Pia’s parents, she was a superstar diva in the making with she was little. Pia was close to her late grandfather and gets choked up talking about it. The producer named Rodney promises us that she will do justice to “Where Do Broken Hearts Go,” another (ugh) Whitney song. Did no one else make records in 1988? Pia starts out a bit shaky but delivers a solid performance; we’re just not amazed by it. The arrangement has been made into an upbeat disco-era ditty. This matches her white jumpsuit and the fluorescent pink swirlies in the background. What are they trying to sell us, Bubble Yum? The judges love super producer Rodney and glorious Pia and her angel grandpa and how perfect she is. Pia is “what AI is all about” and she is “in this thing to win it.” Ryan is hilarious, mocking Randy’s pointing finger.

Ryan lets Steven do the intro for the pre-package of Scotty tonight. We learn that his mom called him a “chunky monkey” baby and that he idolized Elvis at an early age. They attempt the “baby lock them doors” line that has made Scotty so popular this year. He is such a sweetie-pie, there is no doubt. He’s worried about having to change from country, but Jimmy I. reassures him that everyone knows where the bread is buttered. Tonight Scotty’s doing Travis Tritt’s 1993 hit “Can I Trust You with My Heart.” I hope that the McCreerys haven’t seen the racy music video for this song. It would have been better if Scotty had done “T.R.O.U.B.L.E.” from the same year instead of this one. He sings as well as always and looks like Alfred E. Neuman more than ever. The judges believe in young Scotty and his “country lane.”

On the chat stools with Ryan, Karen talks about MySpace, her sister’s crush on some Jonas Brother, and her weirdass hairdo. She looks like a space-age version of Holly Golightly. Her mother is very sweet and thank goodness for subtitles, so we know that Karen is her “Oscar.” She also has a beautiful singing voice. Karen has made her mark on the contest this year as she reminds us over and over that she is Latina baby! Then she tells Jimmy I. that she doesn’t want to be known as the Spanish singer so we’re confused now. She is another contestant that was born in 1989, and she will be doing “Love Will Lead You Back.” It isn’t the best choice for Karen, but she certainly does better than that horrid Mikalah person back in the season of Carrie U. The judges go easy on Karen in spite of some off-key notes.

Ryan sits in the audience in between that crazy lady from the dancing show and Tamyra from season one of Idol. Not sure why he doesn’t talk to Carly Smithson who is right there in the screen shot.

Tamyra tells Ryan that she loves Casey which leads us to his parents’ story. They waited until their 40s to have him, in 1991. Casey is proud of them and how his mom uses the word “pedantic;” it’s evident where he gets his sense of humor. My Kid Tru is a big fan of Nirvana and is glad that two of her favorite things are being combined – Casey and “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” I’ve been a fan of Casey’s from the very beginning, but his rendition seems like a skit on SNL to me. He comes across as a comedian playing a role as a rocker, like Jack Black in School of Rock, or when Will Ferrell was on Conan that time. At least they let him play the guitar tonight. The judges love how unique he is, but Jen rightfully calls him on being screechy-screamy. Randy name drops for one hundred years. I hope Casey keeps the ego in check.

Now we have doped-up-on-cold-meds Lauren on the chat stools with poor meticulous Ryan. This chick is increasingly working my last nerve. It’s weird how her mom looks (and dresses) the same age as Lauren does. We learn in their interview that for the first three years of her life Lauren was not a brat. Her dad is so darn sweet that it makes me cry. Lauren’s birth year is 1994 so she’s doing “I’m the Only One.” Maybe she’s taking her comparison to Pickler seriously since she did this song too back in her very horrific day. Hopefully Steven won’t call her a minx (“whut’s a mink?”) Lauren sounds fine vocally as always, but she doesn’t get the fiery screensaver like Kellie, and she doesn’t seem as energetic. After diagnosing her with everything from a bad cold to strep throat, the judges tell Lauren “she’s back!”

The last one up tonight is Jacob, who says he has no idea where he gets his talent. His pre-package is the best one because his cute mom says that she can sing and she very clearly is mistaken. Did Jacob just say that he is doing “Alone” by Heart? This can’t be the only song from 1987 for sure. I usually like it when guys sing songs made famous by women (such as David Cook doing Mariah that awesome time), but this is a bad idea. This song has already been done to death on the show. Jimmy I. talks to Jacob about how a lot of the R&B greats came from gospel, which has nothing to do with the massacring to come. Four notes in and he has already put the “Lusky stank” on it. I can’t even listen to the judges pour admiration on him, because I have to find my puppy who has fled in terror. My heart can’t take it, pardon the pun.

Quotes from tonight:

ST: I’ve got leftover sandwiches under my bed older than you!

Randy: Help us with our make-up too, Ryan.

Haley: At least I let my mouth go with the flow.

Ryan: Go hug your mom! Go hug your mom!

ST: Remember - perfect pitch isn’t just in baseball.

ST: I love when you break into your “ethnic what-it-is-ness”

It’s recap time and I don’t even know who to vote for based on their performances tonight. No wonder Nigel hasn’t let them sing “live and for real we mean live” until now.

The judges say that we have a “fierce hot competition!” Who will be sent packing tomorrow? My guess is either Haley or Karen since they were both in the bottom last week.

Tomorrow night’s results show will also include performances by last year’s winner Lee DeWyze as well as the Black Eyed Peas. Until then, I’ll be trying to get Kurt Cobain unstuck from my head. (“Hello hello hello hello, how low…”)

Ashthon Jones – Miss DivaLite Will Be Alright

2011-03-11T21:50:00.006-05:00

We first noticed Ashthon during Hollywood Group Rounds when she sang “Hit Em Up Style” with wacky Ashley and a couple of other gals. She showed compassion to Ashley when she was at her most unstable and I have always admired her for that.

Other than that group performance, her singing has not been that impressive to me. It didn’t help that everyone was suddenly calling Ashthon this year’s “diva.” Sure, she was sassy and confident, but I never got the vibe from her that she was arrogant or self-serving.

Here are some things that we learned about Ashthon from her exit interviews, in her own words.

“It's not always a bad thing to be the first person to go. I feel like it was all in God's timing, and he has something better for me. I'm not saying American Idol was not [good], but something great is what I feel in my spirit right now, and I can't wait to see what is going to happen.”

"I did break down a little bit because I was leaving, but I left those tears on the stage. That strength has nothing to do with me. That strength comes from God. I know a lot of people don't believe or don't understand what I'm saying, but that strength comes from up above."

She expresses gratitude for the experience and the friendships that she made while participating on the show. As for having the DIVA label put upon her, she says, “A diva is not always a person that has that attitude, you know, ‘I’m all that.’ I like to dress, I love to have make-up on, I like to do my hair…. I love to have confidence, but that confidence doesn’t come from myself. It comes from God, and that’s what I wanted America to see.”

Learn more about Ashthon on her official American Idol page.

Who Will Survive the AFTERMATH?

2011-03-10T23:53:00.110-05:00

So, I read that Simon was on the Piers Morgan Tonight show, which is fitting because Mr. Morgan is just as caustic as Mr. Cowell. Piers is also a judge on America’s Got Talent and if you’ve never watched it, you’re missing… well not much. Except for Sharon Osborne who is great, per My Kid Tru. Anyway, Simon said “I personally think AI is a better show than last year. It feels to me they’ve got their energy back, they’re confident, they’re competitive." That was a cool thing for him to say. I am looking forward to The X Factor when it debuts in the fall.

Tonight is dreaded results night. Who will be the first to go home? Will the judges use the Infamous Idol Save? My guess is no, not at this point. I really like the editing on the show this season; they have kicked the “previously on” segment up a notch.

Last night - Lauren wanted a teasing squeezing pleasing kinda time, Casey got by with a little help from his friends, Ashthon needed your love to make her stronger HEY, Paul wanted us to steal all his records for some reason, Pia didn't wanna be all by herself anymooooore, James was maybe the only man amazed by this whole thing, Haley yodeled that she's oh so lonesome for you, Jacob and his choir took R. Kelly to church and left him there, Thia smiled all the way through a sad song, Stefano boogies with Stevie at the discotheque, Karen wants to fall in love with so many bracelets, Scotty is like a vessel sailing his bird upon the wind, Naima will be here forever making lightening.

The judges are the embodiment of diversity. Randy thinks it’s Casual Friday and Jen’s wearing half of a marshmallow. Steven is on leave from the Black Pearl. Argh! Ryan’s in the undertaker suit again. Has he become like Matlock, a one-style-suit wonder?

This evening we have two guest stars. Someone named Diddy Dirty Money and "the electric" Adam Lambert are here. I have no idea who the first one is but curiosity has me wondering if it’s the artist formerly known as J.Lo’s ex-boyfriend? Must google. Indeed, it is, however it’s more than that, it’s a band. Okay. I suppose in Hollywood exes run into each other all the time, so maybe this won't be too awkward.

Thirty million votes came in last night and I wonder how many of those were cast online. I’m really glad they added that feature this year. Not sure what took them so long to discover the “interwebs!”

After the finalists come out to the stage, Ryan tells us that Casey is in the hospital again. Casey is the favorite of My Kid Tru and me. She is at the beach and probably not watching, so I text her right away to “PRAY FOR CASEY!” Of course, I’m so slow at texting that he is probably out by the time I finish.

We see the contestants take on the “good life” as they frolic at the AI mansion. It’s always cute to see janitors and camp counselors and high school kids get a taste of “royalty.” They have to share rooms though which makes no sense to me. Maybe they are sharing these digs with The Bachelor contestants or perhaps Real World. (If so: DON'T DRINK THE WATER! Skank might be contagious.)

Group Sing Time! A Michael Jackson medley! First question - are they live or Memorex? Or a combination? After a while it’s evident that they are lip-synching. I don’t have an issue with this part of the show being pre-recorded. It’s so much easier on the ears of the viewing audience. I really miss Casey during this though and hope he gets well soon.

More fun with this week’s Ford music video, which is just as confusing as most other music videos these days. They are singing a song called "The World" which I’ve never heard. I notice that Pia looks like a cross between Detective Kate Beckett and Salma Hayek. The Focus is the car, pardon the pun. Casey is also missing from this video, bummer.

The busy contestants also attended the Red Riding Hood movie premiere. Ryan sits and talks to the actress who starred in that film, Amanda someone. I remember her from Mean Girls and wish she would say “that’s so fetch,” but she doesn’t. The kids have a blast at the event, meeting stars and starlets that we’ve never heard of which is always exciting.

Finally, dimming the lights for some results. First up are Jacob, Karen and Stefano. This part of the show is so intense, with reminders of good/ bad/ indifferent performances. Tricky Ryan sends Karen to the bottom three. We all know that technical difficulties are to blame for this. (Insert eye roll here.)

From the audience, Ryan introduces Adam Lambert back to the Idol stage. Adam is doing the acoustic version of a song called “Aftermath.” A dance remix is available online and the proceeds go to Anti-Bullying campaign awareness. Adam is gorgeous and with the haircut he reminds me of the actor who played The King in the telepic Elvis and Me. Adam sings great even dialed down; just one glory note toward the end. James is taking notes we hope. They go on for a thousand years about some dance called The Dougie. If Ryan Seacrest was a Dancing with the Stars contestant, I would totally watch.

Now who will join Karen in the bottom three? Someone named Kieran will dim the lights as Lauren, Ashthon and Haley take the stage. Lauren begs for forgiveness at the same time as shooting evil eye at the judges. Ryan tells her she made it before she has a nervous breakdown and I notice her mom has a great wig. Haley is wearing feathers from the Steven Tyler collection. Jen thinks she looks like Stevie Nicks and before I can yell “no” at the TV, Ryan sends both Ashthon and Haley to the bottom three stools.

That means that the rest of the kids, including hospitalized Casey, are safe. To paraphrase Captain Malcolm Reynolds, they just “sit there and be ironical.” Ryan has to yell at them to be happy and excited that they are going on to next week. A little celebration! Karen and Ashthon and Haley are officially bottom three. That was really quick.

It’s time for Diddy Dirty Money featuring Skylar Grey. They do that “tell the world I’m coming home” song that I liked so much as background music earlier this season. The gal on piano I’m assuming is the “featured” part of the group. She sings real pretty, and then Diddy takes over with soulful background singers for awhile. I like Skylar just by herself and because this song is one hundred minutes long, I have time to google her. She used to record under the name of Holly Brook and being a guest vocalist is her forte. She also wrote the Rihanna part of the Eminem song about Megan Fox and Charlie from Lost beating up on each other. You learn so much from Wikipedia!

Back to our bottom three – Karen is safe. Haley is safe. Ashthon will be singing one last time, hoping for a Judges' Save. Even though earlier she apologized for doing the Diana Ross song, she decides to do it one more time. Okay. My puppy and I can’t sit through this again, so I turn the volume down and just think about how pretty Ashthon looks tonight with her hair pulled back. She is also wearing half of ST’s fuchsia shirt from last week.

Unfortunately the judges do not “Tell Me That You Love Me” to her and after Jen says "I'm sorry baby" one hundred times, Ashthon is going home. In her exit montage, we are reminded that she is a girl of faith, the "whole package," she’s fun and was labeled a diva because they needed one this year. The first one to hug her good-bye is Naima and we can hear someone (Jacob probably) giving her a pep talk.

Quotes:

Stefano: Casey definitely looks most like the werewolf. Casey: Grrrrrrrrrrrr!

Sean Combs Puff Daddy P. Diddy: Keep God first in your life.

The exit song this year is by my very favorite American Idol, David Cook. It’s a remake of the song from the Breakfast Club. The full version is available on his official website. ‘Til next week “don’t don’t don’t don’t you forget about me.”

The Inspirations of a Baker’s Dozen

2011-03-09T23:03:00.064-05:00

Tonight’s theme revolves around the contestants' Idols and who inspires them. Ironically, my inspiration has gone on a beach trip and is not here with me tonight. Watching the show without My Kid Tru will be way less fun, but at least I still have Kaylee the SuperPup. She definitely has her favorites, but she’s not as good with the one-liners as my human daughter. Oh well, I will have to wing it on my own.

Seeing the judges come out arm in arm is such a refreshing change from seasons past. All three of them seem to actually want to be there. At least Steven did the first part of the season; now he seems to be on auto-pilot. And has he always tied the bottom of his shirt in a knot like Daisy Duke?

Ryan mentions that the new song by J.Lo is number one and she’s like “what, that old thing?” (I wouldn’t brag about that horrid song overmuch, either.) She looks like she’s wearing the Gwen Stefani-hawked LeRouge lipstick. At least they’re all in the same L’Oréal family.

We are reminded that this week each singer worked with a Grammy-winning producer to fine tune their “song from their musical idols.” Jimmy I. is in the audience tonight to hear how it all turned out. He looks like my mechanic and mumbles like him too.

I am looking forward to hearing the studio versions of these songs when they’re posted later on iTunes, because they almost always sound better than the live versions.

Speaking of “live,” once again, we are NOT. They have pre-recorded the performances “live in front of an audience.” Not sure what Nigel and Company are up to, but the usual conspiracy theories abound!

As always, before each performance, we’ll see a snippet of the contestants’ interviews and background of their practice sessions with the producers.

It’s surprising that Lauren is up first in the “spot of doom” tonight. She is cute as always, although I don’t know who dressed her in a ruffled curtain. The producer she worked with looks like Waylon Jennings in his grungy days. It’s endearing that she is so young that she thinks that Shania Twain invented crossover country/pop. Obviously, nothing happened in the music world prior to 1995. Actually this makes me grin rather than groan; as my granny used to say, “Young’ens don’t know no better.” Lauren sings “Any Man of Mine” even though more than likely she has never even cooked dinner, much less “burned it black.” As expected, she does a good job, but it’s not too memorable. The judges are not completely dissatisfied but want her to step up her game and be more “kickass.” Lauren pouts prettily with some stank eye.

Next up is America’s beloved “lumberjack” and our very favorite, Casey. I can’t put my finger on what it is about this guy that is so appealing. He is rumpled and gruff and so deadpan; the combination is irresistible. He is inspired by Joe Cocker and is doing the theme song from The Wonder Years. Actually this song was done by the Beatles first but they’ve already had their week. The picture they show of him as a kid is adorable. Casey starts out by sitting on the steps, and by the time he gets to the “With a Little Help from My Friends” part, he’s on his feet. He grins when he sings about “getting high.” It’s neat how he incorporates the back-up singers into his performance. The judges and the audience love him as they should. It’s cute how he gestures to the crowd to tone it down so Jen can speak. Love this guy, “unghh!”

So it seems that Ashthon is one of the contestants that takes the judges’ advice literally. Last week she was compared to Diana Ross, mostly due to ten-feet-wide hair and diva-tude. This week she has decided to sing a Diana song; what a coinkydink! I wish she was doing my favorite song from Ms. Ross, the one from the movie Mahogany. Instead, Ashthon is doing “When You Tell Me That You Love Me,” a nice enough song but kind of a snoozer. I am so distracted by the silver eye shadow that her singing doesn’t really sway me. Too many "heys!" She sounded so much better in the studio clip. The judges pretend to be excited because they picked her as the Wild Card; Randy seems embarrassed that Barry Gordy is in the audience. Ashthon is a nice girl, but Kendra should have been on that stage tonight instead.

Next up is Paul, he with the startling white teeth – someone get him a Crest deal, stat – and kooky dance moves. I like Paul a lot, but each time he performs on Idol, it makes me enjoy his own songs more. Just google Grand Magnolias and you will know that Paul is a great singer and that he wears that funky jacket a lot. I am not familiar with his idol, Ryan (not Bryan) Adams. Tonight Paul sings a song that I have never heard before, something about “stealing all his records.” Does this generation of kids even know about records? They are called “digital downloads” now, but that is too wordy for lyrical purposes I suppose. Paul’s vocal is weak on this song, not his best work for sure, but the judges don’t hatchet him too badly. Funny man Ryan does the McDonald Two Step and gets a Charley horse. That guy sure earns his money.

Ryan is on the chat stools with Pia to talk about how different she looks away from the spotlight. (Not really.) She is barely recognizable un-glam’d, and it’s sweet that she is so family oriented. As any long time AI fan knows, there are certain singers who shouldn’t be covered on this show. One of these “untouchables” is Celine Dion, but that is not stopping the lovely Pia from trying. Tonight, she is doing the Celine version of the old 70’s song “All By Myself.” They should have just renamed this week’s theme “covers of covers.” What I like about Pia is that she stands there and sings but not in a pageant-bot way. She doesn’t grandstand or try to “sexy up” her performance, which is admirable. Her voice soars and shines and she does justice to the song. The judges are excited about her, deservedly so.

It seems that the stylists have made some improvements with James, who looks more subdued tonight. He has a nice Seacrest haircut and a dangly earring. I was expecting his musical idol to be someone from the hard rock or metal genre but he is constantly surprising us. Tonight he is singing a Paul McCartney song called “Maybe I’m Amazed.” His voice is really very nice when he is not screechy. If Tru was here she’d be gloating right now, because James has been one of her favorites all along. Chatter on the ‘net keeps comparing James to Adam Lambert, but I disagree. Adam is more Broadway-ish. James proves that he is not a one trick pony and delivers a solid performance. The judges like his singing and his new “tail-less” outfit. It’s funny because I remember him saying he wouldn’t ditch it. He just gave it to Pia.

Next up is Haley and she reminds me of Claire Bennet on Heroes, if she'd ever made it to prom. Haley is doing the song that started LeAnn Rimes' career back when she was 13. “Blue” was originally written for Patsy Cline, a tidbit of trivia to which these youngsters (all together now) say who? Haley worked with a duo of producers with the weird name of Rock Mafia. I have to admit that I am impressed with Haley’s take on the song; she yodels it just like LeAnn did way back in the day, but Haley adds a cabaret vibe. She sings a sad song with a smile though, not good. In her pre-song video, she says that she’s been singing this since she was 8 years old and you can tell she is comfortable with it. Randy is the only judge who was “sleepy.” Jen reminds everyone that Haley is a sex bomb and ST is like “Wow. Boobs.”

We learn the ins and outs of the spa business from Jacob when he sits on the Coke Lava seats with Ryan. Because he has never read the tabloids, Jacob says his musical idol is R. Kelly. There is no reason in the world for that other than for the excuse to sing the over-done “I Believe I Can Fly.” Well, I believe that Jacob looks like a televangelist, but with earrings. It’s fitting, since he gets the entire AI choir up on the stage tonight. I want to like Jacob’s performance because I like him, but there is something off about his rendition. My puppy has fled the room in terror. I can’t help but grin as I remember that My Kid Tru sang this song at her pre-school graduation. The judges have no bad words to say about it; they are bragging on their "discovery." It makes me think that they are listening to a different show that the one on my TV.

Another gal to take the judges’ comments directly to heart is Thia Bot. I know, I know. I shouldn’t be so harsh; she is just a tiny, defenseless thing. So Randy compared her to Michael Jackson so she’s decided he is her musical idol. Okay. Thia is pretty and articulate, but has no idea who Charlie Chaplin is, and why should she really? “The Little Tramp” applies to a different Charlie these days. ("Duh! Winning.") Tonight Thia sings “Smile,” the song that got Gina Glocksen voted off in season five. Why do I remember these things, you ask? Just look at the title of this blog and you will know. (Grin.) Thia’s performance gives me a chance to doze off and when I awaken, I learn that she started slow then jazzed it up a bit. Interesting, so I rewind it, then nap again. One thing’s for sure, Thia is way more mature than Miss Pouty McLauren.

One hundred thousand commercial interludes, which gives us a chance to see movie trailers. Who knew that Sydney Bristow’s lovelorn friend Will from Alias would grow up to be the hot Bradley Cooper?

Ryan and Steven have a funny interaction at ST’s “work station.” I get the glasses and fan but why does he need 800 pencils? At least he’s awake tonight.

I can totally buy that Stefano’s musical idol is Stevie Wonder because he has that vibe. I like him and am really glad that he was a Wild Card pick last week. In a ball cap, he looks 12 instead of 21 which makes me giggle. On stage he does a slow-then-disco version of “Lately” and he sounds really good, even though the arrangement is unusual. He’s like an older and wiser David Archuleta and very authentic. When he sings that he is a “man of many wishes,” I believe it. One thing I have noticed about all the performances tonight so far is that they are very stylized. It must be the influence of working with the professionals. At any rate, the judges are over the moon for Stefano; he’s like a “soaring volcano.” I am impressed by his humility and that he credits God for being alive. His tie and jacket combo is cute too.

We have to give Karen credit for mixing things up and getting out of the pageant-bot mode tonight. She is wearing a sexy jumpsuit and sleek ponytail/extension. In her interview she talks about being a Selena fan, to the point of playing dress up. (I can remember the days of dressing up like my favorite singer Linda Ronstadt. Ah, nostalgia.) Karen will be doing one of Selena’s songs tonight and she co-designed the outfit. Am not sure if the song is well known or not – it’s called “I Could Fall in Love.” The positive thing about doing obscure songs is that the basis for comparison is not as great. There is not much that can save Karen at this point though. She is not doing well, even though this is the prettiest she’s ever looked on the show. By the end she blames the sound quality, and even Jen uses that excuse for her.

Today is my hubby’s birthday so I stopped by the grocery store to get him a cake. I tell you this because the store I went to was in Garner, hometown of the next contestant, Scotty. In the bakery there was a display with his photograph and a table full of giant cookies, cupcakes, and cakes decorated with “Vote for Scotty McCreery!” This is either some good hometown support, or he has relatives at Lowes Foods. He definitely has fans in the audience, as they are shouting his name loudly. Scotty talks to Ryan about missing baseball while the Coke logo swirls in the background. Staying true to himself, Scotty performs a Garth (ugh) Brooks song called “The River.” I guess he could have picked a more boring song but no, it’s this one. He “sails his vessel” as well as always, practically flawless. The judges are delighted with him.

Up last in the “pimp spot” is funky cool Naima. She is the other Wild Card save from last week that we are thrilled with. Her sense of style, personality, and amazing voice all add up to greatness for this show. Tonight she is doing the Rihanna hit “Umbrella,” which you can’t say without adding “ella ella ay ay ay.” Wow she is good! Her voice is equal to the original (when she does it live) and then! She totally mixes up the arrangement, adds some funky reggae/rap, complete with “lightning bolt” effects. There were a couple of breathless moments but that’s okay. I believe her when she sings she’ll “be here forever.” This was the best produced of the night and it probably helped that Naima's producer “Tricky” worked on the original song. The audience and judges are wowed; it’s a wonderful way to close the show tonight.

The judges sum up the “Lucky 13” and for some reason “a minute forty” is very important to them. A rundown of who did what because we have short attention spans. I will be downloading Casey, James and Naima from iTunes.

Quotes from tonight:

Ryan: I gotta stretch before I do this stuff.

Steven: Happy International Woman’s Day, by the way.

Jen: Let 'em clap, baby, when they want to clap.

Randy: You know, like I'm at a luau.
Jimmy (to Stefano): Paula felt it right away when she looked at you. (Um, I think he meant Jennifer!)

Word of the day brought to us from Naima: “overstand”

Tomorrow night one of the 13 will be going home. Will it be Ashthon or Karen? Idol’s own Adam Lambert will be guest starring as well as some “Dirty” something or other. In the meantime, as Jimmy told Karen – don’t sing, talk, call, or even email. He didn’t say anything about texting or facebook. Or online voting!

Top 24 Results – Who will be Left “On the Floor?”

2011-03-03T23:57:00.162-05:00

An interesting tidbit from the “interwebs” - the Top 12 guys and girls performances this week were NOT live. Both shows were recorded “live on tape” which means that a lot of the banter we saw was staged. Bummer. Next week is when the “live and yes we mean live for real” shows begin.

We are live tonight though, with two hours to fill, whew. Quick montage of the season thus far with the new panel of judges and their “discoveries.” 40 million votes were cast over the last two nights.

Ryan’s new nickname has swept the nation already if the "Peaches" signs in the audience are any indication. He tells us that 7 out of the 12 guys and 7 out of the 12 girls will be eliminated tonight. I am not good at math, but I think that leaves 10 total contestants. There will also be a Wild Card round later this evening.

My Kid Tru and I sit with Kaylee the SuperPup, anxiously awaiting the fate of our favorites. After much debate, we almost agree on who we hope will make it to the next round: Guys – Casey, Paul, James, Scotty, Stefano (me), Jacob (her). Girls – Lauren T, Lauren A, Naima, Pia, Kendra (me), Rachel (her). Actually, to heck with all of them except Casey. As long as he makes it, we’ll be happy!

It takes approximately one hundred thousand years to introduce the top 24 contestants. One by one, they are called to the stage. You can tell who the crowd likes by the yelling.

Randy is sporting a white tee from the Simon Cowell V-neck collection, as he explains the Wild Card process. Jen has her third hairdo, which stands to reason since it’s the third night of the show this week. Tru says, "Is she wearing shrubbery?" In spite of all the ruffled fuchsia, Steven looks tired and kinda bored with the whole thing. We hope he hangs in there because he’s been one of our favorite changes on the show this year.

Recap of what we’ve seen so far this week. The stage was really colorful and we had screamers Clint (not good) and James (crazy good.) A ballad by Jovany, some R&B by Jordan. The Doors by Brett’s hair. Paul kicking out some Rod Stewart. Robbie is an Angel, but Tim not so much. Stefano is amazing, Scotty's sly. Jacob channels Luther. Casey is practicing the coronation song.

As Ryan quizzes the guys, Tru remarks that there's not as much drama this season because they got rid of most of the "sob story" people already. So true! Am glad they did that. There's not a Tatiana in this bunch.

We see the blooper reel, plus interviews that seem like blooper reels also. We learn more about the guys and it’s all good stuff. Stefano is more adorable than ever. Casey is so deadpan. We’ve come to really like most of these guys a lot!

They dim the lights to red - “it’s like the lighting at Satan’s house” Tru says. First up to the stage are Scotty and Robbie, two teen boys who are as different as night and day. Both are humble and articulate for the most part. The judges talk to the boys for such a long time that they’ve both graduated from college by now. We finally learn that Scotty has made top 10 and Robbie has not. There is still an opportunity for Wild Card though.

The next three up are Clint, Jordan, and Jovany. Or as Tru says "you suck and you suck and you suck. Good-bye." But she wishes Jovany would take his shirt off in despair. She is really cracking me up tonight! Clint and Jordan, the divos are not in top 10. Wow and neither is Jovany. That Ryan is tricky!

Now a recap of the ladies from last night. As with the boys, there are a couple of these that I am not into, so this will be interesting. We had diva-lite Ashthon, jazzy Kendra and cool Naima. Tru still wonders how many chickens were killed in the making of Thia's dress. We recall both awesome Laurens. Miss Universe Karen. Haley falling out of her mini dress. Rachel being a "bad bad girl" but not as "only girl in the world" Ta-Ty. Julie breaks away from the contest. Pia wanting to know why we look so sad.

Ryan asks the girls are they friends? Ashthon says yes they pray together and she seems sincere. They keep calling this girl a diva and she does have sass, but there is something likable about her. We see a video of the girls' photo shoots and interviews from every angle, some of them not so flattering. We notice that Julie and Pia look like sisters. Their interviews are not as entertaining as the guys.

Now to the stage come Lauren Alaina and Pia. Ryan tells Lauren that Kelly Clarkson tweeted that she reminded her of Kellie Pickler. Ewwww, Tru and I say. No matter, Lauren A. is in the top 10. She goes to hug Scotty. Sneaky Ryan tells Pia that she is also in the top 10. We are glad about these two.

Next are Ta-Ty and Julie, both gorgeous and tall and thin and leggy. For one hundred years, they are reminded of how good/bad they were last night. I think both of them were terrible. Hopefully the voters remembered how great Julie did during Hollywood and Vegas week instead. Unfortunately, neither of these girls make it through. They still have a shot at Wild Card.

More girls come to the stage… Kendra, Ashthon and Karen. I voted for Kendra last night mainly based on her duet with Paul during Vegas week. Ashthon sang that horrid song so she's doubtful. We are reminded again that Karen is bilingual. Latina for the win! We get it already. Ashthon and Kendra are sent to the stools and Karen is top 10. Bummer. Score for the Pageant Bot Team.

Finally more boys – Casey, Tim and Jacob. We like all three of these but only two did well last night. Casey is our hero this season. They beat up on Tim for not doing Jason Mraz or someone like that. Jacob makes it to top 10 and thankfully doesn’t go running through the auditorium. But he does get a hug from Karen. Casey (!!!) is also top 10 but not Tim.

Lined up next are Thia, Naima and Lauren T. The first two are dressed so colorfully that they are clashing on stage. Everyone is still puzzled by the MJ comparison of Thia Bot. One of these will be top 10 - it won’t be Naima or Lauren. It's the Thia-1000 for the win this time. Not even fair unless you are on Team Pageant Bot.

As Tru and I groan about this selection, Ryan calls Brett and Paul to the stage. Both of these guys are incredible in their own way. Brett is in a "trance right now," can’t you understand that!? The women in the audience go wild for Paul because they like, have eyes. Paul and his wild jacket make it to top 10. The camera pans to Steven who doesn’t look happy. Maybe he needs a Coke.

As we wait out the commercials, Tru mentions that this show is like a freaking heart attack. I ask her why she's worried; our favorite, Casey, has made it in already. She says she doesn’t like to see people sad. (Except Clint.)

Next up are Haley and Rachel. Neither of them got good reviews from Randy last night. Of these two, Haley did better but she is one of those singers that is going to fray my nerves. I can already tell. She's like McGhee and Scarnato rolled into one. Yep Haley makes it, the final girl in top 10.

It’s between James and Stefano and this one seems to be a no brainer. I mean Judas Priest, come on. Tru explains for the millionth time that James' eyebrow twitch is caused by his Tourettes. We will be seeing more of it; James makes it and Stefano is sent to the other chair to await Wild Card fate.

The top 10 has been named. Randy thinks it’s a great top ten, America. America says "you're welcome."

Ryan explains that we are doing Wild Card now. It’s second chance time for six contestants. Three boys and three girls. They can do any song from the competition so far, read: a song that the band has rehearsed with them.

First up to sing is Ashthon. Tru is disappointed, as Ashthon is not her favorite singer. I like her personality but she sings that "I Am Telling You" song that's been done to death. This would be a good choice if she could sing but it’s shouty and off-key at the end. The judges like her performance and attitude. As Tru says it’s not a personality contest.

The first guy up to "sing for his life" is Stefano. He sings a slow song called "I Need You Now." His voice is perfect but he makes funny faces. He reminds me of Ferris Bueller, and now all I can hear is Ben Stein's voice. Tru says he reminds her of Phil of the Future but I don’t know what that means. The judges are over the moon for his performance, and Steven even woke up for a few minutes.

Kendra is chosen by Steven to come back for Wild Card. She sings "Georgia on My Mind," and she sounds a bit shaky at first but brings it all the way home by the end. She has incredible range and the audience goes wild. She can out sing about half the girls already sitting in the top 10.

We see Jovany next and he pulls the bilingual trick of mixing English and Spanish with his Wild Card song. His voice is nice and clear and Jen loves him. Ryan is rushing things along now because the clock is ticking.

Naima is chosen next to sing and we say a final goodbye to the others. Of these I will miss Lauren Turner. Tru says Rachel will do great on Broadway. Naima is doing “For All We Know” and the lyrics are very poignant. She is the best of the three Wild Card girls because her entire heart is in this performance. Then she cries and Ryan tells her to just breathe. (He has a show to do.)

We ponder again why Steven seems so glum, and Tru says maybe he just doesn’t like the eliminations. Good point. The last Wild Card is Robbie. We say goodbye again to the others. Tru will miss Brett and is broken- hearted. Robbie sings the "Sorry" song and pleads "what have I got to do to make you love me?" Tru realizes that almost all the Wild Card songs are about "making you love me." He does a good job but the song seems to go on forever. Tru mentions that when you sing a sad song with a smile it comes across as sarcastic. Good call.

Clock-watching Ryan quickly brings the six back to the stage and then… we have a break. So much tension! The judges still aren’t ready and it’s LIVE TV. What will we do? Why, we will watch Jen’s brand new music video, of course. Contrived much? Some guy named Pitbull who looks like Bruce Willis is also in the video. The song is called "On the Floor" and it's one of those auto-tuned to death pop dance ditties with lots of half naked people dancing. The only compliment I can offer is that Jennifer is gorgeous. The song is horrible enough to make Paula Abdul’s “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow” a classic by comparison.

And now back to the real reason we are here. The six still on the stage. Another break? You have got to be kidding. Tru says that the remaining six are probably standing there thinking they can all sing better than J.Lo, natch. And I thought I was jaded!

The first Wild Card chosen is Ashthon. Tru is very ticked at this choice. Stefano makes it also and that almost makes up for it. James is glad to see him and greets him at the winning circle with big hugs. The final pick is Naima; we are thrilled about this as she goes running to Jacob.

Quotes:

James: It’s like, why would I be in "Country Living?"

Lauren A: I don’t know, I’m just Lauren.

Ryan: An international sex symbol calling you sexy? How do you feel? Casey: I feel sexy.

Ryan corrals the Top 13 to the stage and quickly tells us that next week they will be turned into “true recording artists.” He pulls the show off just in time. Good job Peaches! And I promise to never call you that again.

The Top 12 Girls Will Stand by Us Criminals

2011-03-02T23:49:00.047-05:00

As a die-hard fan once again, I am all over the “interwebs” searching for American Idol news and updates. I was surprised to read that most folks were disappointed in last night’s performances from the guys. My Kid Tru and I didn’t find them to be so bad, except for Jordan “OMG You are Not Usher” Dorsey.

We did notice that the music seemed to be drowning out the vocalists. I read that Nigel tweeted his apologies about the sound quality, but this seems to happen every year. I think they do it on purpose so that sub-par contestants have a scapegoat when they bomb, but then again I am jaded.

“Who do you love?” Ryan asks from a shadowy stage. My Kid Tru says, “Well, you for one Mr. Seacrest.” I love watching this show with her.

Once again, the judges are introduced with a big intro on the stage. ST’s future is so bright he has to wear shades, Randy is wearing his favorite Mr. Rogers sweater, and Jen is a superhero from the future.

Ryan makes a joke about being short. All he needs to do is watch one episode of The Soup and he will hear all the short jokes he ever needs. (We also love you, Joel McHale!)

It’s time for Ask the Judges. Jennifer thinks that the girls will be “explosive.” Randy thinks that THIS is American Idol. Steven and his long feather are addicted to adrenalin and full moons. Tru and I feel kinda bad for Randy – the crowd cheered wild for J.Lo and even wilder for ST, but for him… silence. Oh well, he is sad all the way to the bank I guess.

As last night with the boys, the girls can select “any” song to perform tonight. We all know that this is not really true – the song has to be put through a variety of legal channels and be “approved.” As they say in corporate America "It is what it is."

First up is the really pretty gal with all the Ts in her name. I am going to get tired of typing Ta-Tynisa, but then again probably not. She is not doing well on the Rihanna hit “Only Girl in the World” but looks great and has a cute outfit. ST disagrees with us and thinks she’s fabulous, but he was probably distracted by her shiny legs. But Jen likes her too, so what the heck do we know? Thankfully Randy tells it like it is – it was just okay. He and Jen argue for about a hundred years before Ryan referees a time out. Can’t we all at least agree that the boots did not go with the dress? Ryan says yes. (Not really.)

Naima is on the chat stool with Ryan as we are mesmerized by the crazy Coke logo. Tru and I like Naima and even more now that she tells Ryan how she designs all those wild, wonderful dresses. On stage, she does “Summertime” which makes me nervous at first – I love Fantasia’s version of this song. Naima totally puts her own spin on it, jazzing it up and making it upbeat. We learn that her name means “exotic flower” which is fitting. Randy dings her on being a lounge act and he recalls Ms. Barrino also. ST compares her to Ella Fitzgerald. One thing is for sure – they will be no more cleaning toilets for Naima.

We learn that Kendra was a bathtub salesgirl prior to Idol, and that in her initial audition she had some kickass shoes. Tonight she is wearing leather pants from the Lady Heather collection and some chains. She sings a song that I have never heard before; Tru tells me that it’s “Impossible” by Christina Anguskankyho. Maybe I like Kendra’s version so much because I have no basis of comparison? Randy compares her to Lauryn Hill, who I remember vaguely before she poofed. The others like Kendra too, and Jen even reminds everybody that Kendra has been one of those underdog contestants this year.

My Kid Tru’s favorite is up next – the contestant who would not stop trying, Rachel. I haven’t been a fan of hers so far, past or present. It takes awhile to figure out what the heck she is singing and it’s halfway over before we realize it’s “Criminal.” Rachel has totally changed the tune and style of the song and she’s so busy posing and acting that her voice is not good. At least she looks beautiful, the best we’ve ever seen her. Even Tru agrees that her girl “needs to be redeemed” and owes Fiona an apology now. The judges are not happy with the Broadway-esque of the performance and Rachel is broken-hearted.

We quickly segue to Karen, who is in extra pageant mode tonight. Everything screams “Miss Universe” –long dress, standing still, dramatic hand gestures, the song “Hero.” She has flat ironed her hair and we notice that it’s the same color as Jen’s. We notice this because we are bored and trying to stay awake. The judges disagree because they love Karen, especially how she sung in both English and Spanish. Karen is a pretty girl and we’ve definitely heard Mariah done worse on this show. Tru says that she hopes no one asks her any questions about “maps and such.” I laugh so hard that I wake the puppy up.

Ryan reminds us again that J.Lo has a new song/video out and it’s sponsored by Ford. I figured her more of a limo kinda gal. Or at least a convertible like in that video where she keeps throwing things out of the car because she's mad about having too many possessions. Or something like that, but I digress.

For the first time, we learn that Lauren Turner was compared to Bette Midler in the early rounds. This is so true! She is a powerhouse vocalist and I don’t know the song, but she’s doing great. It’s funny that she is singing about “scrubbing dirty floors” because she was a maid. She won’t have to do that anymore; even if Idol doesn't work out, she’s awesome. I’m afraid she won’t make the cut because she’s been an underdog all season. Randy exclaims that she reminds him of Amy Winehouse and someone named Florence. (Tru says it’s a compliment.) Jen wants Lauren to get in the camera’s face, and I can totally see her doing that.

For no apparent reason, James hangs all over Ryan as he reminds us that tomorrow night is results time. Was that skit for another short joke maybe?

Anyway. Next up is the lovely Ashthon, who has not impressed us so far with her singing. It seems like they picked a lot of these girls based on looks; Tru reminds me that they’ve always done that. Ashthon sings something about having “Love All Over Me” and it sounds like something icky. Moist towelette anyone? She has great stage presence but this is a horrible song. Before we can even contemplate how much she looks like a young Tyra Banks, it’s finally over. The judges liked her, and she is so cute telling J.Lo how she’s trying to emulate her neck moves. Adorable gal, but please no more Monica songs.

We are reminded of Julie and all of her various flouncy skirts. She is very stylish and pretty; tonight she looks like she’s ready for prom. (Side note: According to the interwebs, Julie and Casey went to prom together.) Tonight her song choice is puzzling and all kinds of wrong for her. “Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson is meant for a big diva-ish voice, not a sweet vocal like Julie’s. As we sit through this performance, Tru and I recall that this song was co-written by Avril Lavigne, one of her favorites back in the “Complicated” days. The judges tell Julie that this was not a good choice for her and they are disappointed.

The next contestant is one of those rarities that pop up every year – Haley has a voice that people either love a lot or hate a lot. All season I’ve been pegging her as this year’s Megan Joy. However, tonight she sings “Fallin’” and keeps the growling to a minimum. Because she’s still a teenager, something about her performance reminds me of a little girl dressing up in mom’s clothes and singing in front of the mirror. Actually I bet she did this a lot growing up; all that posing and spinning. Randy was not impressed and plays the karaoke card. ST and Jen disagree whole-heartedly, and it’s two against one again.

Ryan reminds us that this year mere infants in Rainbow Brite outfits were eligible for the competition. Like Thia, who is 15 but has the voice of a 30-year-old. She sings the sad song from Fame, a movie that came out before her parents were even born. Thia sings well I guess, I would know if I was awake. Tru and I speculate that she is a Bot, perhaps of the T-1000 series like in the Sarah Connor Chronicles. Hopefully she has been programmed for good. The judges seem to think so – ST talks about pitch and Randy about tone. In a WTH moment, Randy compares Thia to Michael Jackson. What did I miss during nap time?

Country girl Lauren Alaina is up next. The pretty teenager has tamed her hairdo and is dressed in age appropriate attire tonight. Tru loves this girl a lot and tries to explain to me that Lauren has a crush on ST but not in a creepy way. On stage Lauren sings a country song that I don’t know, “Turn on the Radio.” The lyrics are catchy and Lauren performs well. She owns the stage; she has natural ability and the judges agree. Randy says she’s like a blend of Kelly and Carrie and that will be true in time. Evidently she has given Ryan the nickname Peaches because they’re both from Georgia. America just threw up a little.

We didn’t know that Pia is a former makeup artist but it explains a lot about how good she always looks. She could be a movie star if the singing thing doesn’t work out. Or on a cool series on USA, because they have the best shows. Looks like Pia will be on Idol for awhile because she does a great job with the Pretenders “I’ll Stand by You.” She puts her heart into the song and it reminds me of the Carrie Underwood Idol Gives Back version. The big note at the end brings the judges and her competition to their collective feet. Randy proclaims she deserved the standing O and she is a shoo-in for the finals.

To recap: Ta-Ty wants to feel like the only girl in the world who should go home tonight, Naima spreads her wings in a homemade dress, Kendra says it’s impossible to move in the leather pants, Rachel needs a good defense for massacring Apple, Karen is “yo quiero Taco Bell” or something, Lauren tells us the days of the week in the order of a fool, Ashthon has some sugar all over herself, Julie will take a stand but not tonight, Haley keeps falling in and out of that tight dress, Thia wants to belong to Miss Teen USA, Lauren tells us where to go on the radio, and Pia will stand by you in the top ten.

Now I am off to online voting – will be casting mine for Kendra. Probably both Laurens also and Naima. The revamped AI website is really cool with loads of info for the superfan (me.)

Quotes from tonight:

Ryan: Randy, with all due respect, it takes a lot to move you.

Lauren Turner: I’m sarcastic, America. Just so you know.

Steven: You know, after Monday and Tuesday, even a week says WTF.

Tomorrow night will be the big reveal. Which five guys and five gals will make it? Will Ryan wear the undertaker suit again? How many times will ST say “beautiful?” Will Randy ever get a cheer from the crowd? Most importantly, which hairstyle will Jen have? We shall see …